Originally posted by alize:Easy to forgive if the other person admits his deed.
If not, not worth forgiving.
In fact, you are just torturing yourself for not forgiving. Mental torture. You got tortured because of others' fault, not worth it. So, let go.
Maybe, you can just learn to say "sorry.. I'm sorry.. I have done you wrong.. I have made you angry.. I've caused you sufferings.. I've caused you harm. I'm so sorry." . Meditate that in your mind and you will slowly learn to forgive..your mind will change. Learn to let go of your own ego, pride, hatred etc.
A lot of people are unable to forgive is because they can't let go of their own ego, pride, self-attachment.
冤家宜解�宜结.
it's better to untie a knot rather than to create more knots.
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I do encounter this many times (how to fogive people)...but anger overcloud my mind, thus making me angry.
Then I do breathing (deep) and also telling myself, let it go (anger and problems). The only setback is the people who telling me that make me anger. Serveral times, I nearly join the anger people...
How to teach one to forgive?
Take a simple scenario. The neighbour, a 20yo boy wollop your mother, giving her brusies and a black eye because of starring incident. The boy apologise, and the matter was not reported to the police.
How would you view the boy from that point of time onwards?
Forget about the incident, and still greet the boy as if nothing happened?
Or
Remember the incident, and have a beligerent attitute towards the boy?
Or
Treat the boy as if he don't exist.
In simple words, make sure you pay back with interest the person who hurt you. Then you will have peace. No mumbo jumbo.