Problem with anger
-
I have been able to reduce anger for a period of time, and recently I have found it to be acting up again. I can concentrate on chanting "namo amituofo" and stop it from arising.
I do not know if being reluctant to help others a cause of this. Recently, I have been in situations that people may take advantage if I help. I would like to ask what I should do.
Thanks
-
Originally posted by Beautiful951:
I have been able to reduce anger for a period of time, and recently I have found it to be acting up again. I can concentrate on chanting "namo amituofo" and stop it from arising.
I do not know if being reluctant to help others a cause of this. Recently, I have been in situations that people may take advantage if I help. I would like to ask what I should do.
Thanks
Just curious, why do you link reluctance to help with the return of the propensity to anger?
Generally, I prefer to not breed another's reliance on me. Better to help them help themselves, unless it's obvious they need direct assistance.
-
dun take kindness as weakness....has been a familiar line....
but the fact is such when you have been too nice..and u feel people will just want to take an extra inch...knowingly or unknowingly....dun be perturbed...its common...
humans will never be satisfied with what has been given and will always ask for more...
the problem...(and dun be offended) is still yourself....whether u allow them to do so to you....u need to learn the art of assertiveness in social situations....say NO not because u r not helpful....but because u reject it what u think or feel that its too much....
one needs to assert what you think its within your comfort zone...and you will feel more happy that way....your anger is really unnecessary
-
Originally posted by realization:
Just curious, why do you link reluctance to help with the return of the propensity to anger?
Generally, I prefer to not breed another's reliance on me. Better to help them help themselves, unless it's obvious they need direct assistance.
Thank you for replying. I believe that it is me feeling guilty for not helping that gives rise to the anger, it may be I am angry at myself for thinking so much about being compassionate yet not helping others.
-
Originally posted by Fcukpap:
dun take kindness as weakness....has been a familiar line....
but the fact is such when you have been too nice..and u feel people will just want to take an extra inch...knowingly or unknowingly....dun be perturbed...its common...
humans will never be satisfied with what has been given and will always ask for more...
the problem...(and dun be offended) is still yourself....whether u allow them to do so to you....u need to learn the art of assertiveness in social situations....say NO not because u r not helpful....but because u reject it what u think or feel that its too much....
one needs to assert what you think its within your comfort zone...and you will feel more happy that way....your anger is really unnecessary
Thanks for your reply too. I understand that the problem is within myself, that is why I try to stop it. I will try to stay within my comfort zone and feel better about myself. =)
-
go on to render your help to those who really need it....but this much you can do within your capacity....your comfort and health still ranks first...dun let it bother you...
be kind and diplomatic....but most importantly be assertive....still a balanced way to a healthy and happy mental mindframe..
-
Take anger management course.
-
Originally posted by Beautiful951:
Thank you for replying. I believe that it is me feeling guilty for not helping that gives rise to the anger, it may be I am angry at myself for thinking so much about being compassionate yet not helping others.
Helping too much or spoon-feeding others is not always compassionate.
Will also second what fcukpap said.
:)
-
Originally posted by Fcukpap:
go on to render your help to those who really need it....but this much you can do within your capacity....your comfort and health still ranks first...dun let it bother you...
be kind and diplomatic....but most importantly be assertive....still a balanced way to a healthy and happy mental mindframe..
Thanks for the advice. I don't feel so much pressure anymore. =)
-
Originally posted by realization:
Helping too much or spoon-feeding others is not always compassionate.
Will also second what fcukpap said.
:)
Compassion without wisdom is bad. -
Originally posted by Domo Kun:
Compassion without wisdom is bad.Well, I do not feel like I have much wisdom, and I often do not know the right thing to do.