How do I react when people treated me badly?
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Revenge, wish them ill will, harsh words, an eye for an eye. I want to know how you reacted when people treated you badly or scolded or bullied you for nothing?
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If depend how attached you are to the issue, the person who've hurt you. The more hurt and indignant you are, the more you want the perpetrator to suffer! However, if you are not overly attached to the incident, the moment will slide! The point is to recognise the rising or stirring of emotions before you lose control of your feelings. Losing control of our emotions is not good as we usually end up hurting ourselves and others. Usually, you are lower down the ladder, that suffer such unfairness, you build unneccessary stress for yourselves, only to vent your anger to somebody who happen to trigger your anger! I used to be angrier, but have since mellowed. However, you can use awareness on the arising of emotions as a type of practice!
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Originally posted by Jacky Woo:
Revenge, wish them ill will, harsh words, an eye for an eye. I want to know how you reacted when people treated you badly or scolded or bullied you for nothing?
hahaha, you come to this forum Eternal Now will tell you do vipassana meditation. This will bring you to mind that you are nothing and that's why you are treated badly, scolded and bullied. If you cross over to Eternal Hope, they will tell you to turn the other cheek.
Revenge or eye for an eye is viewed negatively, but you can apply Newton's law of Action and Reaction - a force has an equal and opposite force. If someone scold you, you scold back! Isn't this fair? You cannot call this revenge. It is nature's law.
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no doubt newtonian physics have taught us with force exerted you get equal reactionary force...but with human understanding, this could be controlled and passively absorbed and released through transcendental truth, which makes us and our surrounding less reactionary or less violent...
still, humans are all too human, the degree of self control and understanding requires effort...for a better world...
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Originally posted by I No Stupid:
hahaha, you come to this forum Eternal Now will tell you do vipassana meditation. This will bring you to mind that you are nothing and that's why you are treated badly, scolded and bullied. If you cross over to Eternal Hope, they will tell you to turn the other cheek.
Revenge or eye for an eye is viewed negatively, but you can apply Newton's law of Action and Reaction - a force has an equal and opposite force. If someone scold you, you scold back! Isn't this fair? You cannot call this revenge. It is nature's law.
Wow a round of applause! for INS reply.So you will scold backyour parents your teachers your boss whosoever regardless using your nature law even if their scolding is for your own good? hmmm no wonder the society is degrading nowadays.
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Originally posted by lastime:
Wow a round of applause! for INS reply.So you will scold backyour parents your teachers your boss whosoever regardless using your nature law even if their scolding is for your own good? hmmm no wonder the society is degrading nowadays.
hahaha, if they scold you for no nothing ... see I just got your hole - degrading right?
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Originally posted by lastime:
Wow a round of applause! for INS reply.So you will scold backyour parents your teachers your boss whosoever regardless using your nature law even if their scolding is for your own good? hmmm no wonder the society is degrading nowadays.
LOL haha -
Originally posted by I No Stupid:
hahaha, if they scold you for no nothing ... see I just got your hole - degrading right?
Oh hahaha too! too bad wor u didnt put "if they scold you for nothing" in your previous post :P YA! i agree with you indeed its degrading! someone miss out something then trying to cover his own HOLE and no shy say he got my hole..right 2009novice?
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Originally posted by Jacky Woo:
Revenge, wish them ill will, harsh words, an eye for an eye. I want to know how you reacted when people treated you badly or scolded or bullied you for nothing?
its best for you to speak up when there are troubles. defend your rights. -
Originally posted by SMB92U:
its best for you to speak up when there are troubles. defend your rights.Quite true :)
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Originally posted by lastime:
Oh hahaha too! too bad wor u didnt put "if they scold you for nothing" in your previous post :P YA! i agree with you indeed its degrading! someone miss out something then trying to cover his own HOLE and no shy say he got my hole..right 2009novice?
hahaha, I really got your hole ... read carefully my post, I was replying to Jacky, who said he got scolded for nothing.
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Hole hole hole hole ! I am not responding to you in the first place in my posts
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Don't react too fast. wait, see and react later if necessary.
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Originally posted by Metta with Mindfulness:
Don’t react too fast. wait, see and react later if necessary.
this is clever, scheming ... wait for the opportune time to strike back, just like the Terminator!
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I believe that when it is time to speak up, we need to speak up and defend our rights. Of course, we must 对事�对人. When we speak up, no personal attack but just to solve the problems that we are facing.
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when u see a mother scolding her child, that's love and compassion, not for no reason.
when seeing two kids fighting at each other without ending, that's naive and immature, not rightly.
when u see a child making fun of an old man, and the old man, just smile, that's unaffected and wise, not intimidated. that say 大人�计�人过 A greater man does not make note of a lesser man's faults.
so best u be the mother or the old man, not the brat.
/\
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what about when a mother or father physically abusing their kids, like beating or punch them as sandbags? is this called love also? i think its frustrations on the parents more than anything else. if the parent truly love the child, the parent would teach and point out the child's mistake, and teach him good values,rather than scolding, beating and nagging the child all the time.
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Not sure why the people are treating u harshly... there must be some reason.
if it is unjust, make less contact with them. Focus and try regain your equilibrium in your mind :)
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Originally posted by Aik TC:
Oh dear... I probably shouldn't laugh but...
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... I do hope it was only playfulness between doggie and kitty.
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Originally posted by realization:
... I do hope it was only playfulness between doggie and kitty.
Some light moment in life do made life itself more bearable. Anyway, I believe the picture is that of a puppy and kitten, hopefully having a good time before they grow up and lost their ‘innocence’.
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Originally posted by Jacky Woo:
Revenge, wish them ill will, harsh words, an eye for an eye. I want to know how you reacted when people treated you badly or scolded or bullied you for nothing?
Normally, in Buddhism, we practise tolerance 包容 and foreberance �辱. Even if someone is treating us very badly, as long as we do not commit any form of evil, our own "hatred" will slowly give in to compassion. Do not revenge, do not speak ill of others, do not use any harsh words, do not curse them. It will only bring bad karma not just to others, but yourself. You will suffer ultimately. Hatred will slowly give in to the loving-kindness and compassion.
You must learn the following Buddhist wisdom:
人家氣我我�氣 （A person angers me, but I'm not angry)
我若生氣ä¸ä»–計(If I'm angry, I will fall into his ploy)
我們應該 (we should)
�人所�能� (tolerate what cannot be tolerated)
容人所�能容 (forebear what cannot be forbear)
處人所�能處 (treat people for what cannot be treated)
Even the most evil person can be tamed with the Buddha's mind. Only two words: Loving-kindness and Compassion.
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There are those who not realize that one day we all must die.
But those who do realize this settle their quarrels.
Dhammapada v.6
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Originally posted by Rooney9:
what about when a mother or father physically abusing their kids, like beating or punch them as sandbags? is this called love also? i think its frustrations on the parents more than anything else. if the parent truly love the child, the parent would teach and point out the child's mistake, and teach him good values,rather than scolding, beating and nagging the child all the time.
Unfortunately, not all parents are well-educated in the art of parenting. In 8 sufferings (八苦） of buddhism, one of them is 怨憎会苦 (sufferings of hatred/anger). Sufferings of hatred can take place within a family. You're reborn into a family due to law of karma, causes and conditions and because you do have a relationship with your parents in the past life (Buddhism calls it å› ç·£ or causes/conditions). Your karmic relationship with your parents in the past life can be good or bad. If you've done some wrong-doings to your parents in the past life (bad karma), then in this present life, if you're reborn as the parents (while your parents in the former life are reborn as your kids), you might receive bad treatment from your kids (in the form of unfilial piety). This is why physical abuses within the family (notice that some kids kill their parents - considered one of the 7 heaviest bad karmic act). On the otherhand, some parents physically abuse their kids (beat them, rape, molest etc.). It's an endless cycle unless compassion is practised.
So, why do people who hate each other are 'destined' to be together in a family? Even husbands and wives find themselves at loggerhead. This is again subjected to the law of karma, something we can never escape.
Kids who are reborn into a family of abuse are generally living in the "realm of hell" in the human world. However, the dharma does provide relieving of sufferings.
If family abuse constitute violation of criminal offence, it's important to seek legal help. Spiritual healing from Buddhism can complement the fear and sufferings. On the other hand, repentence and practising of compassion can help relieve the spiritual sufferings. This is where chanting or meditation will come in hand.