The Fictional Self
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Tuesday, 15 March 2011
The Act
12:22 | 
Posted by
CiaranThere's no you. This we know. But there is an assumption that there's a you. It's there, always, from when you're a very small child. You grow up with it. You live with it.
Am I this? Am I that? Such a nonsensical question when you've seen the truth, and yet it's the fundamental concern of the human animal, of the human mind.
The reason that 'liberation' as we experience it is shallow is not that we have not seen the real truth, but we have not seen it's depth, breadth, or intimacy.
Intimacy. How intimate can a thing be? What is the polar north of intimate? Something so precious that we'd turn the world upside down to preserve it, something so good that we'd never question it, that we'd leap to it's defence as a matter of instinct without even stopping to check the facts, because it is so good, and so worthy.
There's nothing there, no self - and so we create something. We paint a picture, of sorts. But deeper than that, more than that - we build in our minds the image of who we really, really want to be. Who we *really* are beneath all the failings and the chaos. The *real* us. The *deep* us. The intimate us.
Because there is no self, we build one. We create a character, and play that character.
Think of it like this. If there were a stage production of a work of fiction, say... Lord Of The Rings. And you were playing Aragorn.
Now imagine if you were a method actor. A method actor lives the role, they climb inside that character, embellish it from within, work it out from the inside, do everything they can to create a complete and coherent person. Something true, something that rings true.
Something that rings true.
It is the point and purpose of a method actor to lose themselves to the role. They inhabit it so deeply and so completely that they (as much as possible), in the moments they are on stage, that they forget that they are on stage. That they forget that this is just a costume and this is just a play. That Aragorn is a fictional invention.
Imagine if you will what that feels like from inside. To breathe life into a personality, to live it, to bring it to life.
Except - no amount of belief or sophistication will ever make Aragorn a real person. No intensity of feeling. No depth of sorrow, no height of joy - he is a fiction, he was never real. There was never a real Aragorn, and there will never be.
This is not a metaphor. I am not using this example to draw your eyes to similarities between that process and the processes of self. They are the same processes. You're looking at the same thing.
Ciaran was always a fiction. Right from the start, always. And what a fiction! Such a tender thing at heart, so precious and vulnerable, and yet capable of great fury and focus. It was a fiction that was woven, woven over a hole that the mind could not abide.
The hole is the self. Because there's nothing there, we fill it. We fill it with fiction.
And not just fiction. A fiction. One fiction. The one central fiction. The one act that has always been playing ever since you can remember and even now.
We cannot call this 'you', for even that word is not personal enough, not intimate enough. Not you enough. But there is a character here called Ciaran, and there is a character reading this - you know it's name. It's the name you've been called since you were old enough to cry.
What is real and what is not? Such a fundamental issue, and so knotty with paradox. Was Ciaran real? Was there ever a Ciaran?
Was Aragorn real? Was there ever an Aragorn?
No.
And... actually yes. Aragorn was never a man, never a real person. But he was a real fiction. Lord of the Rings is a real story. The self is a real lie.
Ciaran is a real character - as a character that has been written. As a fiction is a real fiction, I am real. But only as that.
How complex is this Ciaran? Ha! Simple as a single note, yet sophisticated as a symphony.
Look at the fucking thing. Look at it in you - you, your principles and hopes, pet peeves and vendettas, a one character play that has been embroidered and embellished every day of your life.
The difference between seeing the fact that there is no you, and seeing the fictional nature of your actual personality itself is very intense.
Because it is true. There is no you - so you are a fiction. You are a fiction. An incredible work of fiction. Look how incredible a work of fiction you are.
There is no you - so you are a fiction. And you embody that fiction, as the method actor embodies Aragorn.
What the fiction called? Ciaran? Stephen? Kevin? Kat?
Insert own name here.
Just look at the fucking scale of it.
And that's what Tolle saw. Not that 'there was no him'. The exact words that he spoke that broke him free were "What is this self I cannot live with anymore?" And then he says, he saw it. The false self. The ego.
Ego's too distant a word. You is too distant a word. For me, Ciaran is not too distant.
It is not that there is no self. It's that this self, this actual self - is a fiction.
This actual self, as in this self, this one, this self - the one reading this. You, whatever your name is - you are a fiction, an incredible fiction of incredible sophistication and scale.
And in that is reality - you are a real fiction. You've been written since you were a child, and every moment a new sentence, a new paragraph, a new page.
The ramifications are pretty big, but I'll leave my speculation about the origins of the fiction and the nature of reality for another day.
Suffice it to say, I'm pulling some serious fucking shit off this, and I wonder if you guys can rinse anything from it either.
Check it out, tell me what you come back with. -
Friday, March 18, 2011
Your character and stuff
4:34 PM | 
Posted by
MaverickIts been about 3 days since I read Ciaran's post on 'The Act', and I gotta say, that it really is something.
So far there have been two core things that have come out of RT :
1. There is no 'you'
2. 'Maverick' (or whatever your name is) is a real fiction
The first statement really is the gate... to see the truth in it takes away all sorts of bullshit you have piled upon a tiny little thing which you refer to as your 'self'.
But, inspite of recognizing this fact of 'no self', you and your entire makeup remain pretty much the same.
Its because the character that is being played does not change.
To cover the fact of 'no you' the mind spins a brilliant character, brilliant in its texture and emotions.
A Real Fictional Character. What people commonly refer to as 'identity'.
I prefer the word 'character' since it is a much better way to describe such a thing, because identity begs the question - 'who are you?' - which for a person who is yet to recognize 'no you' seems like contradicting messages.
Seeing no 'you' is simple because you just have to recognize that the thing which you thought previously existing in real life doesn't.
But it gets quite interesting with this character thing.... this character that is spun is entirely fictional, but it exists. A real fiction.
Like watching a disney (or horror) movie... ofcourse the movie's story doesn't play out in real life exactly and its all make belief... but it still is there in the theatre for everyone to see.
Its a performance, a process of creative imagination brought into real life.... its a real creation based on an imaginary character.
Its freaking wonderful to be able to see this thing.... it really gives you that 'zen on drugs' type thing.
But anyway, much more thoughts to explore in this area.
Hope you're all doing good - check out RT n you'll find many cool things such as this, be able to get liberated from the 'self' etc.. and ofcourse one lucky winner will get instant abs.
Labels:
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2
comments -
Monday, 21 March 2011 The Pearl 17:03 | Posted by
CiaranToday
eelllo.
23:15heyasorry - haven't had a chance to read your messagei just logged in after a few days off facebookmy life has decided to be very dramatic at me, and is taking a lot of my attention right nowarseyeahzen took my nastinessgrri assume it will come back soonas i am such a dick my dickishness transcends the laws of realitypffa puppy of DOOMthat's my zen magicnicethey're goodreally goodyeahit is a lot more intellectual than you thinkbutas recent events have demonstratedit gets betteryou can deepen itinterested?welll quiteoksowhat does that mean?can you see that there is no you?yeahok soi've taken it to a deeper leveland would like to describe it to youi've been working on a metaphorto make it simplei'm very tiredso you'll have to reach out for this onebasicallyyou know how a pearl develops?okwella piece of gritmore typically a fragment of shellbreaks offand gets stuck inside the oysterthe oyster is very sensitiveand doesn't like the gritsoit secretes layer upon layerof smooth, dense crystals around itslowly, over timethe pearl growsgets biggerit's a piece of gritaround which the oyster has built this pearlbecause it doesn't like the gritnowshootnono sorrywant another tilt at the windmill?it means do you want another goif not, it's cooli'll keep goingoksothe mind layers cause and effect onto what is fed to itor ratheron what it has access toone of the things it has access tois consciousnessthe infinite flow of beingreality as suchthe momentwhatever you want to call itit assumes a cause for thisa cause for lifesomething outside life, living itstop being weirdanywaysothe mind assumes a causeof course it doesit doesn't know any betterit's just processingbut it tries to process realityand comes up with an errorthat error is the selfthe assumed causefor life itselfwhereas lifeas in the fundamental flow of realityactually has no causebecause if you're looking for something outside of realitythat is causing realitywellit can't be therebecause anything outside realityisn't realanywaythis erroris like that gritin the oysterit sits in the mindand cannot be argued away, fought backit's not even examinedit's so fundamentalwhat we do when we liberate peopleis dig right down to the coreand do the one thing that can be donewhich is to see the errorto that assumption...powclaritywhateverit's just cool...whataboutthe pearlthe pearl, in this metaphoris the fiction that has been woven around that assumptiona heroic fictionthe best that consciousness can do at the timelayer on top of layerall over this one errorbutwhen you see through the errorthe fiction does not collapseof coursenothat's what i thoughti thought it was sadannoyinginconvenienti felt i had beenwellmissoldthat enlightenment had been dramatically overblownbecause it didn't dissolve the false selfwellhere's the thingit's all about the differencebetween fiction and realityand ciaran's first rule of philosophywhich is.......good mangoodit's the most importantthat's why it's number 1< -
I have a question... but unable to phrase it concisely...
I believe in Buddha's teachings of non-self (selflessness) or anatta. In the end it is to eradicate ego, selfishness, inflexible mindset of seeing things...
Let's assume a person realised this view, not fully completed. But he still need to fulfill the role of this self... so i called it social duty. It's like, u know something, but you still carry out that duty in your everyday life.
Extracted from this thread:
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Because there is no self, we build one. We create a character, and play that character.
Think of it like this. If there were a stage production of a work of fiction, say... Lord Of The Rings. And you were playing Aragorn.
Now imagine if you were a method actor. A method actor lives the role, they climb inside that character, embellish it from within, work it out from the inside, do everything they can to create a complete and coherent person. Something true, something that rings true.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When I read this, I feel that we still have to continue to be actors. I think it does not mean we are sort of detached, but we still need to put in emotions to make the act more successful. Otherwise the audience would throw tomatoes for lousy acting.
Can't recall where I read from this forum: before enlightenment u fetch water and cut wood. After enlightenment u still fetch water and cut wood.
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oops I didn't copy finish!
sowhat is the paradox?the false self doesn't go awayhuhthat's a doozy of a paradoxthe false self is still....wellreali meanthere is no selfbutthe false self persistsget a good look at itsee how weird it iswell yeahokyeahyeah, how i said it is thatif nothing is removedhow can anything collapse?it's not that you remove the selfthat's not what RT doesit's that there is no selfthere never wassee thatand powand that insight does hitlike a sack of bricksor at leastthat's how it hit mebutwe still have the false selfyou're still the same assholeas am isowhat use is any of this shit?i meanwell exactlyanywayi've rambled enoughhere's the dealthe paradox is resolved very simplya fictionthat is also a reality....easyall fiction is also a realityin the sensethat it is real fictionan illusion is a false imagebut it is a real false imageright?sothink of what the mind has donearound that core assumption of selfevery dayevery hourminutesecond, evenyou want to be a good guyeveryone doesand even though some peopleare aggressivecrueltwistedthere's always a heroic narrative behind itor more specificallylayer on layer of principles and argumentsfeelingsbeliefsthe whole shebangthat fiction is realit was always realas a fictionthe false selfis a real false selfno, it's goodwellnot to overuse a term we use a lot here but...looklook at windylook at the windy in your smilingand in your sorrowand in your laughter, tearsshock and silencethe you that is theresee itit's hard to get this through to peoplebecause they see this in the abstractit's like people are trying to hit the right epiphanythat will save themwhen what they should really dois look at themselvesand really seethe unique and stunning, intimate realityof that fiction of you.thatdoing thati find it hard to describe it's potencybut it's fucking potentyeahyesyes it doesand forgivenesslook at loveno-one feels it like you dothat characterthat unique characterthat's what you want to check outit is stunningand once you see itand see the simplicity and the complexity at the same timein the same way that a pearlis very simplebut has stunning iridescent patternsyeahyouyouthat fictionit's not realbut as a fictionfucking hellwowvery cool stuffyeahcooldownlookwhen i'm saying"look at this, do this"or whateverthere's likea bunch of different things you could be doing inside your headwhich might well seem to youand feel to youlike you're really doing itbut wear offenlightenment doesn't wear offsothat's how we knowlookhonestly,i can tell you've been looking into all this stuff for a whileand i've never spoken to someoneto whom that has actually helpedevery single timeit has conditioned themto interface with this in a woolly, feelings-based waykind of the polar opposite to those who look at it purely logicallybutequally damagingthis is realreally realin real lifethat's what you needlaser focus on the truthnothing butneversoyou've got enough now, I feelto have a serious leadon what to do nexti'll blog this chatso you can come back to what i've saidrun it down to the best of your abilitydo what you canit's easybut then everything isonce you've done itseriouslythis isn't hardyou're closeeveryone iswelllookit's not that you should look at what the character's doinglook at what the character ISi didn't say tell me what it isstopstop spouting philosophyyou will not 'profound' your way out of thisso it's a mind made fictionso's war and peaceas in the bookbut you wouldn't engage with war and peaceby saying "it's a fiction that manifests as pages and ink"sure it isjust fucking read the thingactually lookat the actual substanceof your actual characterdo it by looking at actual feelings you really have -
and seeing the character that unites themand then getting a good long lookat that actual characterand stop trying to be profound at meor i will shoot youwith a blue fireballfrom my handslike ryufrom street fighterjust fucking do itstop wasting both our timelookgo awaytake a day or sowork with what i've given youit's very simpleit's right in front of youdon't fudge itdon't convince yourself that you don't need itor that you've already got itTodayjust get ityeah?takes 10 secondshand on heartanywayi must away to bedspeak soon mangood luckWindy is offline.
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Originally posted by 2009novice:
I have a question... but unable to phrase it concisely...
I believe in Buddha's teachings of non-self (selflessness) or anatta. In the end it is to eradicate ego, selfishness, inflexible mindset of seeing things...
Let's assume a person realised this view, not fully completed. But he still need to fulfill the role of this self... so i called it social duty. It's like, u know something, but you still carry out that duty in your everyday life.
Extracted from this thread:
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Because there is no self, we build one. We create a character, and play that character.
Think of it like this. If there were a stage production of a work of fiction, say... Lord Of The Rings. And you were playing Aragorn.
Now imagine if you were a method actor. A method actor lives the role, they climb inside that character, embellish it from within, work it out from the inside, do everything they can to create a complete and coherent person. Something true, something that rings true.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When I read this, I feel that we still have to continue to be actors. I think it does not mean we are sort of detached, but we still need to put in emotions to make the act more successful. Otherwise the audience would throw tomatoes for lousy acting.
Can't recall where I read from this forum: before enlightenment u fetch water and cut wood. After enlightenment u still fetch water and cut wood.
I wouldn't say 'need to put in emotions'. But rather, the sense of a self continues even after the initial insight into Anatta which Ciaran already has.... until it doesn't.
Ciaran is trying to confer an important insight here.
Since last year, he already realized Anatta.
But recently, he had a new insight...
He realized the amazing power of the 'bond'.
The sense of self... the identity... he is amazed by it.
