My wife and I had been married for almost 5 years since 2009. We have no kids, I'm a Singaporean and she's a Malaysian holding Spore PR working in Singapore. We had a Resale 4 room HDB flat bought in 2010. Recently my wife caught me with teased messages with a lady, but I really didn't touch her before. I admit to my wife that we do really sent tease messages. I am very regret and apologies to her. But my wife don't want to settle with me and she insisted to file a divorce for my teasing messages with that lady. My wife had paid $6k as she claimed it's for lawyer, I don't know if this is true? She told me if I want to savage this marriage, I need to engage my lawyer and sign an agreement to prove that I truly love her and I won't cheat her anymore. The agreement is if I had cheat her or do anything wrong, I will give her my 100% assets of HDB 4 room flat, my car & all my saving to her. I still love her very much and I want to save this marriage. I was advice by 100% of people I asked, there's no such condition as 100% assets & saving for proving my love and loyalty to her. She is a changed person now. Very unreasonable and demanding. She said No negotiation. Does someone teach and guide her behind? Does she fall in love with another guy outside? I need help from all brothers and sisters, please advice me what to do next? I admit my mistake of those text teasing & I'm sorry what I had done, I had admitted and apologizes to her. I need help now. Thanks!
it is very obvious what she is after
sign.
and i mean, the divorce papers, not the blardy agreement.
"do anything wrong" - haha that one you sure will do something wrong one lah !!!
Assuming you are not a troll....
I get strong vibes that you haven't had much experience with the females. In summary your wife plans to take all your property and is setting you up.
Did you already meet this female in person? Or was it only a flirting by phone?If so how did you meet? I strongly suspect that your wife set you up(look up 'honey trap'), seeing her efficiency on handling things. And looks like she is supported by a good lawyer.Knowing many lawyers I wouldn't be surprised if she has an affair with one or if one provided the idea with a promise of 'percent of win'. We can safely conclude she has another person.
By signing this I am pretty sure you accept past infidelity and your wife being a big hearted woman, gave you a second chance. This would go well in the courts especially now feminists have their way.
So next steps, get a very good lawyer,engage a PA to spy on your wife, get proof of infidelity. Get a list of her 'friends circle'. If any one is divorced in that group, she is usually the one giving these advices for quick money. And please don't waste your time on this woman anymore, well I can't say others are much better.
All the best
yup, save yourself first..
If you sign the agreement , you will be admitting infidelity. she can use it against you during divorce.
Even if you sign the agreement.. she can still decide to leave. So there's no guarantee on her part.
Money cannot fix a marriage. It can make many flaws more tolerable. But money can never heal a broken relationship.
Once trust is broken, the dynamics changed.
She is angry because you were sneaky, it's all about the deceit. Women don't care where you parked your dick, but if you had to be sneaky, that's where she draws the line.
I'm not saying you need to give up on this marriage yet. Trust must be earned. And given your situation, you'll be spending several years trying to earn back her trust.( assuming you know how) and if she is even worth the effort at all.
Tell her to give you 6 months. During which you will do your best to earn her trust back. Allow her to scrutinize all your correspondence, all your activities. Learn to pick your battles. Let her have her way as long as she is still married to you.
If after the 6 months and your efforts are still not good enough for her.. then it's best to call it quits. Make sure she knows about the 6 months limit. It will give her enough time to think through if she really wants to end this or not.
Takes two hands to clap.
She's a woman with a brain. She don't need someone to teach her how to execute self-preservation.
She is threatened by your extra marital flirting. You are interested in another woman, emotionally, there's a chance she may lose her position in your heart.
Do what you need to do to make her feel secure again.
" Money emboldens a man, money gives a woman a sense of security"
Originally posted by FrancoSG:My wife and I had been married for almost 5 years since 2009. We have no kids, I'm a Singaporean and she's a Malaysian holding Spore PR working in Singapore. We had a Resale 4 room HDB flat bought in 2010. Recently my wife caught me with teased messages with a lady, but I really didn't touch her before. I admit to my wife that we do really sent tease messages. I am very regret and apologies to her. But my wife don't want to settle with me and she insisted to file a divorce for my teasing messages with that lady. My wife had paid $6k as she claimed it's for lawyer, I don't know if this is true? She told me if I want to savage this marriage, I need to engage my lawyer and sign an agreement to prove that I truly love her and I won't cheat her anymore. The agreement is if I had cheat her or do anything wrong, I will give her my 100% assets of HDB 4 room flat, my car & all my saving to her. I still love her very much and I want to save this marriage. I was advice by 100% of people I asked, there's no such condition as 100% assets & saving for proving my love and loyalty to her. She is a changed person now. Very unreasonable and demanding. She said No negotiation. Does someone teach and guide her behind? Does she fall in love with another guy outside? I need help from all brothers and sisters, please advice me what to do next? I admit my mistake of those text teasing & I'm sorry what I had done, I had admitted and apologizes to her. I need help now. Thanks!
Originally posted by FireIce:it is very obvious what she is after
sign.
and i mean, the divorce papers, not the blardy agreement.
Well essentially she is telling him, "you give me all your assets and you csn go f any gal you want."
She is angry because you were sneaky, it's all about the deceit. Women don't care where you parked your dick, but if you had to be sneaky, that's where she draws the line.
I am sure she arranged for the whole drama with her bf/lawyer.
I She's a woman with a brain. She don't need someone to teach her how to execute self-preservation.
Ya she used it well to leech the money out of this delusioned guy.
She is threatened by your extra marital flirting. You are interested in another woman, emotionally, there's a chance she may lose her position in your heart.
Do what you need to do to make her feel secure again.
" Money emboldens a man, money gives a woman a sense of security"
BS! If she was concerned in this way she wouldn't have brought all the assets into picture. She can earn the money by herself and being a woman she decided to trap the man and take his money.
Bio hawk, you watched too many drama on tv.
Ts is not some high school kid.
When she demanded the assets she was using it as punishment for his betrayal. Of couse she knew it wasn't legal. She's no fool and her lawyer will be stupid to have told her it was possible.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Just let her ride out her anger for now. Recklessly signing any papers will only cause regrets.
Originally posted by jojobeach:Bio hawk, you watched too many drama on tv.
Ts is not some high school kid.
When she demanded the assets she was using it as punishment for his betrayal. Of couse she knew it wasn't legal. She's no fool and her lawyer will be stupid to have told her it was possible.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Just let her ride out her anger for now. Recklessly signing any papers will only cause regrets.
Ya, say that to the guy after he has lost everything.
Obviously you are the drama lover and you haven't presided over divorce meetings. What do you know of proofs created by lawyers to invalidate even a lawyer witnessed pre-nupital? I have seen much stupider things happening. It's not so difficult to play the system if you are capable and has people to support you.
I can assure that this man if he signs this agreement can very easily part with all his belongings. Wifes lawyer will prove that he accepted infidelity, mental trauma, stress all leading to inability to work. A leniant court may allow him to stay in his place till he finds a new one. Now that he has a job even that might be difficult.
Don't fall into the fantasy of thinking courts rule based on truth, it's based on perceived truth which is shown by the lawyers. So welcome to the real world.
Originally posted by Bio-Hawk:Ya, say that to the guy after he has lost everything.
Obviously you are the drama lover and you haven't presided over divorce meetings. What do you know of proofs created by lawyers to invalidate even a lawyer witnessed pre-nupital? I have seen much stupider things happening. It's not so difficult to play the system if you are capable and has people to support you.
I can assure that this man if he signs this agreement can very easily part with all his belongings. Wifes lawyer will prove that he accepted infidelity, mental trauma, stress all leading to inability to work. A leniant court may allow him to stay in his place till he finds a new one. Now that he has a job even that might be difficult.
Don't fall into the fantasy of thinking courts rule based on truth, it's based on perceived truth which is shown by the lawyers. So welcome to the real world.
Are you living in your own little self righteous world? I told him not to sign. If the wife wants to enjoy whatever puny amount of assets he has, she'll need to stay in the marriage. Don't need to sign any stupid agreement to prove anything.
When a woman wants to punish a man, she's gonna hit where it's gonna hurt him most.
For TS case, she knows it's his wallet. That's probably where his ego originated.
In the past, scorned woman just lop off her traitorous husband's dick, or poison his food. Modern law has made that repayable.
Your angry wife will get back at you.eventually. t
Originally posted by jojobeach:Are you living in your own little self righteous world? I told him not to sign. If the wife wants to enjoy whatever puny amount of assets he has, she'll need to stay in the marriage. Don't need to sign any stupid agreement to prove anything.
So much for speaking to a gal.
His assets are not at all puny,well to who am I saying this?
Angry wife if kicked well out of family will cry with her lady friends, scheme and plan and bitch wallowing in sympathy. Eventually unless a misguided 'wannabe husband' or a silly friendzoned guy supports her, she will o exactly this:self destruct.
Originally posted by Bio-Hawk:So much for speaking to a gal.
His assets are not at all puny,well to who am I saying this?
Angry wife if kicked well out of family will cry with her lady friends, scheme and plan and bitch wallowing in sympathy. Eventually unless a misguided 'wannabe husband' or a silly friendzoned guy supports her, she will o exactly this:self destruct.
Oh you must be a really good boy to never do stupid things like the ts to piss his wife off then. Jolly good.
Filthy messages are ok ? Lol. Not when your spouse is sending those to another man.
Just because you think that kind of behavior is harmless does not mean it is also ok for your partner.
If that behavior is offensive to your partner..no matter how you try to justify it in your head.. it is still offensive to your partner.
Inconsiderate behavior can never build nor sustain any relationship.