This girl I like...
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Originally posted by Yunhaier:
I am actually curious on what is it about the age gap that is stopping you from advancing. Specifically, I am wondering how much of the experience you had with Girl A actually negatively affected the way you are going to proceed with Girl B. Presently, both of you are employed in different companies. Hence, office politics from your previous workplace shouldn't technically harm either one of you professionally; after all, even if you are indeed dating Girl B - it's truly your own private life.
You might want to gain some degree of self acceptance to the above thought processing first as I sensed some form of inner resistance from you as somehow, you kept referencing 'unimportant' people in your life (my hypothesis) to make significant decision (namely your love affairs).
So how should you proceed? Well, since you don't really know her as a person beyond mundane description of nice and sweet - you can start getting to know her better? And you can help yourself by being genuine in wanting to know her and be less bothered by immaterial details such as age for now. If age is an issue, the process of knowing her will reveal to you mystically.
Cheers
I know what you mean by self acceptance and confidence. The thing is, I have asked a lot of women of interest out, only to be stalled or given excuses that they are not free. I not sure when to stop but usually when they strike out three times (three times they tell me that they are not free to come out), I just don't pursue anymore.
This time with this girl B, I am just wondering if I should try or not. Its just not based on my experience with girl A, but also previous other experiences in which I have stated that I find it hard to ask a girl out. I don't know why, I just have the aura of getting rejected.
People tell me, if I don't try I won't know but its like this, if you ask 10 different girls out, only 2 out of 10 accept your invitation, you feel a bit demoralised.
Well today is Jan 5, but I have yet to ask girl B out for fear that I may show my desperation. She did let me to try in 2014. My heart is tingling to try though, I am hanging around at home doing house chores, kind of boring, feel like asking her out but yet I fear that it is too soon.
Next week I shall ask her out. I am prepared to receive rejection. Just cross my fingers.
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Hi Oldkamhouse,
I'm not sure if this has crossed your mind but I will spell it out just in case.
Girl B is interested to find out where you are working because she is interested in widening her options towards her career. By finding out where you work, getting feedback from you and continuing an amicable friendship with you she would have accomplished her aim.
Your aim is to create an opportunity for a relationship.
Both your aims may not be the same.
I will quote your first post and give you my opinion. It may or may not be correct...only you know best. I am merely providing you a possibility.
"I ask her about thsoe flowers she receive last time at office. She told me that it was from her girl friends who gave her those flowers for her birthday." She is now aware/suspicious and thinks you might be interested in her.
"Then we both made some jokes...she joke and ask me why I so secretive never tell where I work..then i said...you come out with me for dinner then i tell you. Her answer is "haha...ok"." She is now sure of her suspicion if any and is thinking it will be difficult to achieve her aim as to do so would mean she has accepted an opportunity for a relationship. The haha...ok sounds diplomatic.
Describe Girl A and B if you are willing and if you so wish we can talk about this more.
Their age relative to you, your opinion of their character and physical appearance.
I am guessing that you wish to start a serious relationship....and you are anxious.
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wait wait wait, singapore population hit 8 mil already!
you want that to happen?
*PS-i dont live my life like what i do now by chance- its by choice. so what makes you idiots think you can change that!?
my case - they only wanna rent a room close to their workplace only. and see can hook sg man or not - cheap trick
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Take things naturally , try meeting up for some times first.
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Originally posted by Craptalkone:
wait wait wait, singapore population hit 8 mil already!
you want that to happen?
*PS-i dont live my life like what i do now by chance- its by choice. so what makes you idiots think you can change that!?
my case - they only wanna rent a room close to their workplace only. and see can hook sg man or not - cheap trick
Best advise I have read from this thread.
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Originally posted by Oldkamhouse:
I know what you mean by self acceptance and confidence. The thing is, I have asked a lot of women of interest out, only to be stalled or given excuses that they are not free. I not sure when to stop but usually when they strike out three times (three times they tell me that they are not free to come out), I just don't pursue anymore.
This time with this girl B, I am just wondering if I should try or not. Its just not based on my experience with girl A, but also previous other experiences in which I have stated that I find it hard to ask a girl out. I don't know why, I just have the aura of getting rejected.
People tell me, if I don't try I won't know but its like this, if you ask 10 different girls out, only 2 out of 10 accept your invitation, you feel a bit demoralised.
Well today is Jan 5, but I have yet to ask girl B out for fear that I may show my desperation. She did let me to try in 2014. My heart is tingling to try though, I am hanging around at home doing house chores, kind of boring, feel like asking her out but yet I fear that it is too soon.
Next week I shall ask her out. I am prepared to receive rejection. Just cross my fingers.
I get that getting rejected 8/10 times is demoralising.
Here is my suggestion:
Try different ways of asking the girl out each time so that if you get rejected each time, at least it will be for different reasons and trying, perhaps make it so less depressing. Some ways include:
1. Pick-up line. Cheesy also can.
2. Be direct: eh you have bf?
3. Want to jia cai png two weeks from now?
4. I have story to tell you...
etc etc etc
It might not guarantee you anything, but at least you get to explore and have fun asking girls out.
Have fun!
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@SBS2601D why must b caipng lol..... i noe i noe......charlize? Lol
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Its just an example.
But the point still stands.
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Originally posted by SBS2601D:
Its just an example.
But the point still stands.
I know
... too funny -
Originally posted by SBS2601D:
I get that getting rejected 8/10 times is demoralising.
Here is my suggestion:
Try different ways of asking the girl out each time so that if you get rejected each time, at least it will be for different reasons and trying, perhaps make it so less depressing. Some ways include:
1. Pick-up line. Cheesy also can.
2. Be direct: eh you have bf?
3. Want to jia cai png two weeks from now?
4. I have story to tell you...
etc etc etc
It might not guarantee you anything, but at least you get to explore and have fun asking girls out.
Have fun!
haha cai png again.
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buy her a bowl of wantan mee mai hiam
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Originally posted by Oldkamhouse:
I know what you mean by self acceptance and confidence. The thing is, I have asked a lot of women of interest out, only to be stalled or given excuses that they are not free. I not sure when to stop but usually when they strike out three times (three times they tell me that they are not free to come out), I just don't pursue anymore.
This time with this girl B, I am just wondering if I should try or not. Its just not based on my experience with girl A, but also previous other experiences in which I have stated that I find it hard to ask a girl out. I don't know why, I just have the aura of getting rejected.
People tell me, if I don't try I won't know but its like this, if you ask 10 different girls out, only 2 out of 10 accept your invitation, you feel a bit demoralised.
Well today is Jan 5, but I have yet to ask girl B out for fear that I may show my desperation. She did let me to try in 2014. My heart is tingling to try though, I am hanging around at home doing house chores, kind of boring, feel like asking her out but yet I fear that it is too soon.
Next week I shall ask her out. I am prepared to receive rejection. Just cross my fingers.
I think it is personally helpful that you have a sense of awareness that you are facing some challenges in having woman accepting your dates successfully. However, unless you have decided to embrace monkhood for good as a serious alternative, to keep trying is the other option left. The wisdom in trying lies in understanding 'what' that had led us to failure in securing consistent dates and to improve our probability, rather than to dwell on our failures to demoralize our future attempts.Dates are not isolated from the reality of interest building prior before the actual date; hence, if the development of the friendship does not develop into some level of positive interest leading to a date, then rejection is just but a convenient excuse to avoid dealing with potentially uncomfortable situation easily.
A woman might have a 'single' profiling, but that does not mean that she will risk everything to date any potential guys just because her biological clock is ticking. The interest must outweigh the risk for the first date to begin and the first date must be great for the second one to appear.
Your 'try' has to be holistic; it has to encompass the entire process of knowing her, even electronically (whatapps, etc). Choosing a random day for date that has little process prior is akin to gambling purely on tangible quality (e.g. the brand of your car that you are driving or your physical attractiveness, etc) to assess if you fit into a category of her 'not minding' to go on a date to 'look see look see'. And if the first date is uncomfortable for her, then 'I am not free' excuse will manifest again.
You cannot control a woman to accept your dates; the only person you can control is yourself. Hence, all you could do is to do whatever you can to build good interest, so as to facilitate her consideration to accept. It is also within your powers to decide how you want her to experience a date with you; from conversation to the dining process.
Cheers
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I think she is expecting a position in your new office..So that she can join in it..Its just that your a bit concern of big age gap.. Why don't you give flowers to her,may be this may work out..
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aiyah no prob cool
like me last time cheryl lim
我 先看到 , 我先�
now i bio pamela wong
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Hello to all, I'm 37 yrs and I've been rejected 100% by girls before and I can tell you my experience on msian girls:
Never trust them, they are using you to gain excess to a better pay job, or for PR. They will be loyal only to the msian bengs waiting for them in his msian bungolow. Dating you while saving up to marry their msian bengs does make them feel they're still sought after by suckers SG desperate man.
Sg girls like money I admit, but if you are very handsome or know how to talk, you maybe can stand a bit of chance to get sincere SG gf. If you can stand fat women lagi best.
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ok noted.