HTB and PRC woman
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Okay I am a new user.
I know topics like these have been said and mentioned a zillion times, but I have so much pain I need to let out, and wonder if doing it anonymously can relieve some of the stress. Perhaps someone else have gone through something similar, and can share my pain?
I never had good impression of PRC women. I had two good friends, who ended up divorcing their husbands because of PRC woman. They are not bad wives, maybe just the usual 贤妻良� who spent their entire married lives dedicating to their spouses, mother in laws and of course the kids.
Another friend of mine almost divorced because of PRC woman too, but she was willing to give her hubby a chance for the sake of her boys. And the last time I heard, the PRC was still attempting to call and message her hubby even though he had already made it clear to her that he still want his wife and kids.
I didnt and had never thought such thing will happen to me. But it did. The only consolation is, I was only almost married.
I have been dating the same guy for almost a decade. He was a divorcee with a beautiful daughter, whom I love and I adore.
He was once one of the most perfect boyfriends in the world, who loved me, doted on me, and was the reason why I so faithfully stood by his side all those years, taking care of his mom, his girl, while he fighted for a new career.
After being through so much up and downs, thick and thin, poverty and stuff, he made it, and had a relatively successful small business. And then things changed.
His job required him to entertain his subcons, his clients. He was earning more than he ever had. The now and then drinking session becomes frequent. He began picking on my faults, and eventually he didn't even come home.
And I was indirectly chased out from his place, after almost ten years.
And yes, he was cheating. With a PRC woman he met in a stupid lup sup pub.
Barely two months after I left, he came running back to me. Apologise, telling me how he is full of regrets, etc etc. I had loved this man for ten years, how can I possibly not soften my heart.
And just as I thought we will survive this and become stronger than ever, that PRC claimed she is pregnant, and demanded responsibility.
Well we dragged for a while, and broke up god good. That woman probably thought she won again. The first time I was gone, he had never brought that woman home. And now, she had officially moved into his place and became the mistress of the house.
It has been three months plus. I still cry myself to sleep every night. Apparently things have not been easy for that heartless idiot.
I think it is true that China women are selfish, manupulative and wicked. He still tells me what a fool he has been, and how he regretted hurting a woman like me.
I heard from his family that woman flares at him on a frequent basis, is not nice to his mom, bullies his girl( I ached) sometimes. They do worry about how she will treat his daughter once she has her own. Though she is very much pregnant now, he is still trying to delay marriage. He now realised this woman can never compare to me, and will never love his familyl the way I did.
But the woman will never let him off. :)
Shouldn't he have realised it a long time ago?
I couldn't get it. May never get it. Those PRC women have a reputation not for nothing. Why do Singaporean men still fall for it, only to regret later?
Local girls are not materialistic. In fact they are very simple women, who just want to build a simple happy family of their own. Yes I do enjoy buying designer goods, but I was a faithful caring woman who knows how to love a man and love his family.
And all that I did I ended up with nothing but pain.
In my early 30s now, I don't even know if I am able to start all over again.
Why? Anybody knows why?
(Pardon my essay. I just wanna let it out, even if nobody wants to know).
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u will need to come to terms wif reality. men are visually aroused. women more of an emotional arousal. men in general see a problem they tend to go straight amd solve it. women like to talk about it. so... said man has an urge.... he thinks the PRC woman can solve it ...u noe the rest. u need to find a man wif better morals/discipline that is all. u also need to understand men so that u will be wiser when u choose. u also need to move on he is a lost cause.
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Thank you Genie.
It's nice to see a reply.
And yes, I really need to move on. I just don't know how long it will take before the pain completely goes away.
Maybe men are all the same? I trusted him, was so confident that he will never cheat, but he did.
And I lost everything. Everything I built for the last decade, now belongs to a PRC woman who did nothing but spread her legs.
Thank you anyway.
Warning to all SG men out here, please open your eyes big around PRC women.
They are really not what you think they will be. Don't do something stupid, only to regret later.
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You are full of anger and hatred at the moment.
Think of things from another angle.
The PRC removed a unfaithful man from your life.
The good thing is that it have happened at this time when you can still recovered,
With the skill and knowledge that you have gathered for yourself, you should be able to build another business by yourself.
Focus on what you have and make your life better.
Learn to love yourself more.
Life is not just about living happily ever after with a man.
There is more for you to discover.
Take care of yourself and the one who are still with you.
As for the last part, men will always be men so some things will still remains.
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活该 to the guy
if he hadn't given her the chance, she would not have the chance to create this
the blame is not just on one party
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men cheat. not because of PRC women, but because of themselves, cannot control themselves.
if your bf really loves you, he shouldn't have crossed that line. who the hell cares about the nationality? Every nation has their sluts and cheaters.
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The pain will go away in time.
As for whether men are all the same. I will quote the 3 replies above and arrange it so u can see it in a different light.
Medicated Oil...."men will be men". My opinion, true. Lets call it the urge. All men are cursed with it. Even the gays. Our biological structure needs it or we will not want to reproduce. And nature won't allow it. Ever see a dog humping a lamp post or a tree? The urge calls.
Summer Hill... "men cheat. not because of PRC women, but because of themselves, cannot control themselves." My opinion..also true. Men have an intellect above animals. Therefore when the urge calls if they have strong morals and good self control/discipline they can resist it. There are more ways then one to fullfill the urge. Of cos humping a tree whilst possible can be very painful.
Fireice or FiFi...."the blame is not just on one party." also true. not because he erred once and gave in to his basal needs. But because he decided to keep it going on and hence it became a relationship shared between the PRC and himself. In other words it wasn't just an error. He wanted it to happen because he felt it could turn out to be better with her then yourself. This is in spite of the time you had already invested together with him.
edit:- Now lets come to the why part.
This might hurt.
A relationship involves 2 people. You can play all your cards right....be an angel and have the pope's blessing but still things can go wrong. Simply because you cannot control another person's thoughts. What you can do is reduce the risk by choosing wisely. The process is similar to buying a 2nd hand car I suppose.
Early 30s is fine. I know mid-30s still waiting for their rich and handsome "right one" to sweep them off their feet.
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Originally posted by Genie99b:
u will need to come to terms wif reality.
men are visually aroused. women more of an emotional arousal.
men in general see a problem they tend to go straight amd solve it.
women like to talk about it.
so… said man has an urge…. he thinks the PRC woman can solve it …u noe the rest.
u need to find a man wif better morals/discipline that is all.
u also need to understand men so that u will be wiser when u choose.
u also need to move on he is a lost cause.
not all sg men are like that.
i for one know what's going on in these cheena whore minds.
not me. them also not for me.
taiwanese, korean japanese and angmohs aokay
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aiya...this is a old old problem....who is to blame, the PRC woman? so if it is a malay woman it is ok to take your husband away?
what does your husband see in her that is not in you? her beauty...if it is, then he would go for another woman when he got tired of her look.
what does she see in your husband? his money...then when money runs out, she goes for another sugar daddy.
If they live happily ever after, then he made the wrong choice being with you. Happy for him who finally found the right one, PRC, angmoh or indian.
Obviously you haven't found the right one. still not to late to start at early 30s.
drop your hatred and show more love, your right one will come.
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Thank you people. And Genie, appreciate you taking time and effort in the reply.
Awesome forum.
I am biased, yes. But when I see my good friends losing their families to PRC women, and losing the love of my life to one, we can't help, but form an anti PRC club. Haha.
And yes Genie, you are so right. If he had stopped at an ONS, or even a short fling, I really would have forgave him, and we can start all over again.
But he didn't. He allowed it to develop into a relationship, despite me staying faithfully to him for ten years and yes he allowed himself to impregnate her.
He himself was the cause of everything, the cause of my pain and the cause of his own regrets.
I guess it didn't help that he still calls. I don't even know why it should concern me now that the PRC woman had shown her true colours. He should have seen it coming.
Maybe I should consider blocking him on my phone, and blocking all contacts from him and his family..
I am still hurting. Maybe it will get better with time. Maybe it will take a very long time.
I hope its not too late now.
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make sure u dont 心软 again
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Waiting for jojobeach to make her valuable contribution.
If you couldn't attract a guy, well what to say? Another lady could do it and it means she is better than you in this dept.Suck it up and move on.
As a genius mentioned above 'who is to blame, the PRC woman? so if it is a malay woman it is ok to take your husband away?'
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Originally posted by Bio-Hawk:
If you couldn't attract a guy, well what to say? Another lady could do it and it means she is better than you in this dept.Suck it up and move on.
Sigh. That statement is false in my opinion. Beside every hot chick is a very bored man as far as physical beauty is concerned. Trust me. The next new woman to come along might not be better in the looks dept but she has one advantage. Being new.
She had spent 10 years with the guy prior. It would not have been a level playing field as you suggest.
And please if you have nothing good to say you could try not commenting.
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There's no honor among thieves.
For the past 10 years, you were "the other woman", now that PRC is the new " other woman".
That man has no problem divorcing his wife and mother of his child, what makes you think he can't leave you for another woman ?
You think love conquers all... unfortunately, of all the men out there, you had to go conquer a piece of garbage.
But like all foolish women out there... regardless of nationality, you think you must be so special... that you can make an unfaithful , irresponsible man... become faithful and responsible to you... the great delusion.
Your 'ex" boyfriend is a user.. the past 10 years.. you had been his rebound, his free care giver, free nanny and free fuck buddy. Perfect boyfriend ? No, you've been blinded.. by your own severe lack of self-esteem.
Your self-esteem is ZERO.. that you've allowed yourself to think that piece of garbage is actually "perfect" for the past 10 years.
10 years.. and he never marry you ? 10 years and he never got you pregnant ? And all of a sudden.. he got a pRC pregnant within a few months ? Wow... he must really NOT want you to be part of his family.
Stop wallowing in self pity , and start growing some self-esteem. Else you will only end up "falling in love" with another piece of garbage again and again. All the while thinking you found something worth holding on to.
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Originally posted by Kayrene:
Maybe I should consider blocking him on my phone, and blocking all contacts from him and his family..
I am still hurting. Maybe it will get better with time. Maybe it will take a very long time.
I hope its not too late now.
Maybe you should. It might actually allow the wound to close.
Maybe it will take a long time, but it might be worth it when you do meet your future partner.
And do me a favor and find a real friend (not the internet) to confide in.
Best Regards
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Kayrene,
From my point of view, there is nothing more you can do on your part.
There is no pattern to observe, no coincidence to claim, no assumptions to be made. You chose to spend this precious time of yours with him, it's gone, won't come back no matter what you do. Keep the happy memories and cherish them. Let go of the fact that he moved on and start moving forward.
Take an occasional glance every now and then to relive the good old times, and with each glance the pain will be less and the future a little brighter. Time will slowly heal your heart, as long as you slowly decide to let go.
take your time to forget and forgive that man. But learn from the lesson and never commit to him again. In time, you will find that nothing in life will be left except for yourself. So invest in yourself, take up a new hobby, make new friends, go on a shopping spree, play mahjong, watch a blockbuster movie, head down to the seaside, cycle around pulau ubin, take a walk along Marina Bay Sands, go prawning with your cousins and friends, head over to the bowling alley and play a couple of games.
the point here that I'm making, you have the final say, over your mind. So please, for your own mental state, and your physical health, choose to be strong and move on.
for there is nothing waiting for you if you decide on a self-destructive path.
now head out, grab a tea, or a coffee, and enjoy a light hearted moment and the fresh aroma of a hot and pipping beverage :)
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Originally posted by sgdiehard:
aiya...this is a old old problem....who is to blame, the PRC woman? so if it is a malay woman it is ok to take your husband away?
what does your husband see in her that is not in you? her beauty...if it is, then he would go for another woman when he got tired of her look.
what does she see in your husband? his money...then when money runs out, she goes for another sugar daddy.
If they live happily ever after, then he made the wrong choice being with you. Happy for him who finally found the right one, PRC, angmoh or indian.
Obviously you haven't found the right one. still not to late to start at early 30s.
drop your hatred and show more love, your right one will come.
here is pui those pee arse cee women who go overseas from their mainland to make money out of greed, its not a tough life they have in mainland - its an excuse! tehya re plain greedy.very specific. for a purpose
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Thank you to all of you who make an effort to reply, doesn't matter I am only a stranger.
And yes Freedom, I grabbed a beer; spent a nice cold evening yesterday with a group of girl friends, and fell asleep fast when I got home after that.
It has been tough, very tough. Didn't want people who care to worry for me, and bottled everything up. I was in a lot of pain and just need a place to vent out anonymously.
As far as physical appearance is concerned, that prc sht is no way better looking than me. Nice people would say she is average. Straight forward people probably would say "ah tiong bin".I say cb ah tiong bin.
But Genie was right, she was "new", she was "different", but impossibly better.
If she was that good, he wouldn't come running back to me feeling apologetic and regretful. Although a million apologies from him would never turn back time.
Jojo's assumptions were incorrect. But as mean as she appears to me, I do know. there was a serious lack of self esteem within me. Come on, I am no longer the young 20 something girl with plenty of suitors, plenty of opportunities. And I had spent my time, and money, on that piece of "garbage" whom I was ready to be married to.
Maybe he really was. To choose to hurt a woman who loved him genuinely, who sacrificed so much for him. If his love for me was so strong all these craps shouldn't even happen.
Maybe that's why I never got pregnant and we never make it to marry each other on our 10th anniversary date.
It was a second chance from..hmm.. God?
I don't know what can happened next. Maybe someone better. Maybe nobody at all.
As much as I hate it sometimes, life goes on ?
I know, I cannot allow myself to destroy me like this again. I know if I still answer his calls, talk to his family, I am only killing me slowly.And again, thank you to all the strangers here for your valuable contribution.
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dont worry about the part u no longer young. nowsadays 30 yo and 40 yo ladies as long as know how to mantain can stll lokk young and sexy. proven true and eefective. las tim i got lots of suppiers ladies one they also know how to maintain. i see tham many time i very high.
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Hi Kayrene,
I guess most of us here are happy for you. The intentions (even if seemingly rude) are good although our collective approach would be amateurish. After all to be able to help relieve some of the pain, one must first understand the pain and put ourselves in your shoes. Otherwise it wouldn't amount to much. Myself included.
As for life it indeed will go on. No matter what you choose to do. I guess I am glad that you have decided to choose the "uncertain" path instead of the "certain" path that is doomed anyway. Humans can be wierd. Although logic points to the unknown...most hate to leave the "certainty" of their comfort zone.
I am glad you have the courage and the wisdom to trust logic and your instincts which you know deep inside be true.
Yours Sincerely,
Genie
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Originally posted by Kayrene:
Okay I am a new user.
I know topics like these have been said and mentioned a zillion times, but I have so much pain I need to let out, and wonder if doing it anonymously can relieve some of the stress. Perhaps someone else have gone through something similar, and can share my pain?
I never had good impression of PRC women. I had two good friends, who ended up divorcing their husbands because of PRC woman. They are not bad wives, maybe just the usual 贤妻良� who spent their entire married lives dedicating to their spouses, mother in laws and of course the kids.
Another friend of mine almost divorced because of PRC woman too, but she was willing to give her hubby a chance for the sake of her boys. And the last time I heard, the PRC was still attempting to call and message her hubby even though he had already made it clear to her that he still want his wife and kids.
I didnt and had never thought such thing will happen to me. But it did. The only consolation is, I was only almost married.
I have been dating the same guy for almost a decade. He was a divorcee with a beautiful daughter, whom I love and I adore.
He was once one of the most perfect boyfriends in the world, who loved me, doted on me, and was the reason why I so faithfully stood by his side all those years, taking care of his mom, his girl, while he fighted for a new career.
After being through so much up and downs, thick and thin, poverty and stuff, he made it, and had a relatively successful small business. And then things changed.
His job required him to entertain his subcons, his clients. He was earning more than he ever had. The now and then drinking session becomes frequent. He began picking on my faults, and eventually he didn't even come home.
And I was indirectly chased out from his place, after almost ten years.
And yes, he was cheating. With a PRC woman he met in a stupid lup sup pub.
Barely two months after I left, he came running back to me. Apologise, telling me how he is full of regrets, etc etc. I had loved this man for ten years, how can I possibly not soften my heart.
And just as I thought we will survive this and become stronger than ever, that PRC claimed she is pregnant, and demanded responsibility.
Well we dragged for a while, and broke up god good. That woman probably thought she won again. The first time I was gone, he had never brought that woman home. And now, she had officially moved into his place and became the mistress of the house.
It has been three months plus. I still cry myself to sleep every night. Apparently things have not been easy for that heartless idiot.
I think it is true that China women are selfish, manupulative and wicked. He still tells me what a fool he has been, and how he regretted hurting a woman like me.
I heard from his family that woman flares at him on a frequent basis, is not nice to his mom, bullies his girl( I ached) sometimes. They do worry about how she will treat his daughter once she has her own. Though she is very much pregnant now, he is still trying to delay marriage. He now realised this woman can never compare to me, and will never love his familyl the way I did.
But the woman will never let him off. :)
Shouldn't he have realised it a long time ago?
I couldn't get it. May never get it. Those PRC women have a reputation not for nothing. Why do Singaporean men still fall for it, only to regret later?
Local girls are not materialistic. In fact they are very simple women, who just want to build a simple happy family of their own. Yes I do enjoy buying designer goods, but I was a faithful caring woman who knows how to love a man and love his family.
And all that I did I ended up with nothing but pain.
In my early 30s now, I don't even know if I am able to start all over again.
Why? Anybody knows why?
(Pardon my essay. I just wanna let it out, even if nobody wants to know).
Being subjected to our partner's infidelity is probably one of life's most painful experiences; but like all poignant experience, it can also bring about tremendous growth and learning.You probably learnt that you are not perfect, but at least you are faithful. Yet paradoxically, loyalty alone is insufficient to keep a relationship going. At this juncture, though there is little point in crying over spilled milk, keeping tabs on some important lessons might be useful for future references.
Quite fortunately, you are not married. Though your emotional recovery is no less easy, but your bounce back is likely to be faster. Notably, there is always higher risk in the extreme dichotomy; the ones that ring wedding bells way too fast and the drudging ones that carried on BGR endlessly.
Length in relationship matters little, since the value of relationship lies not in normative age, but by the quality of the love. Quality of love is a subjective mutual experience between the couple - all other 'ethical duties' of being a good step-mother, daughter-in-law, etc., are but components of this positive experience.
Hence, when we learn to stop loving each other in an intimate genuine way; genetic mutation of love starts.
You see, he might like the way you take care of his family, but that does not automatically translate into romantic love. In fact, the original love could just transmogrify into kinship absolutely and ironically, he starts looking for 'love'. Sometimes, when we develop the other roles way too profound, it subconsciously consume our primarily purpose in love and we kind of 'forget' that we actually still have a love relationship with our partner.
A good relationship generally still requires that nurturing, that extra effort, the spontaneous couple plans, the genuine communication, the conflict negotiation, the positive affirmation, the empathy, the understanding and all the forgotten goodness that made it possible in the first place.
A good wife/gf is meaningless if being good is taken out of context from the positive relationship between the couple - for there is a difference between playing a good role and being a good partner. What you have shared is largely the former, which my sense is that it could have overshadowed the latter.
My heart goes out to you; you are injured but not permanently incapacitated. Do not let this experience maim you, but strive with determination to grow from this episode and be a stronger, wiser woman.
Cheers
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Originally posted by Genie99b:
Sigh. That statement is false in my opinion. Beside every hot chick is a very bored man as far as physical beauty is concerned. Trust me. The next new woman to come along might not be better in the looks dept but she has one advantage. Being new.
She had spent 10 years with the guy prior. It would not have been a level playing field as you suggest.
And please if you have nothing good to say you could try not commenting.
Finally something sensible from you after:
1) I have 3 friends and all of our husbands were taken by PRC woman,so they are evil: Is it that you and your friends are of same class/group? And a great work on generalising 1.6 billion people.
2) I have been dating the same guy for almost a decade. He was a divorcee with a beautiful daughter, whom I love and I adore.: The guy dated you for 10 years?Holy! And still you couldn't figure out he was keeping you as backup?
3)He was earning more than he ever had. The now and then drinking session becomes frequent. He began picking on my faults, and eventually he didn't even come home.: So you admit your faults.
4)Local girls are not materialistic. In fact they are very simple women, who just want to build a simple happy family of their own. Yes I do enjoy buying designer goods, but I was a faithful caring woman who knows how to love a man and love his family.: I am not materialistic apart from the fact that I make him buy all designer stuff.
5) Why? Anybody knows why?: OMG really? You stil don't know?You need a bunch of people from internet to tell you that you were pious and great how bad the guy is and how bad his new wife is?
6) And I had spent my time, and money, on that piece of "garbage" whom I was ready to be married to.--> Yes you did,now admit it and move on.
7)Everything I built for the last decade, now belongs to a PRC woman who did nothing but spread her legs --> Since you know the secret, why not try it out yourself? It's not that easy obviously.
8) Beside every hot chick is a very bored man as far as physical beauty is concerned. --> And beside a rich guy there is a bored gal as well emptying his stuff and staying around only for his money,as u know!
9)She had spent 10 years with the guy prior. It would not have been a level playing field as you suggest.--> So she too supported him in many ways and you didn't know about it.
10)As far as physical appearance is concerned, that prc sht is no way better looking than me. Nice people would say she is average. Straight forward people probably would say "ah tiong bin".I say cb ah tiong bin. --> Obviously she knew how to use it.
11)But Genie was right, she was "new", she was "different", but impossibly better.-->New after 10 years?Are u serious?
I understand all this is not easy, you supported a guy for a time and he left you when things became better.Where have I seen this?Yes in movies, drama and hell yeah in life. Poor guy sells his house to fund his gf for studies who meets a richer guy and leaves, poor guy works hard supports her and her family and she goes with a rich guy,poor guy supports a gal and she marries a rich guy thanking her brother.
So stop whining and live with your branded stuff. It happens to many, that is way life is. If you are over these meaningless sympathy from strangers,use this to forge a new life and kick the guy in his ass.Else wallow in self pity with bottles and ur gf(I am sure they are in a worse way than you)
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like me i join the togogawa ninjas clan traning. They taught me shin-ren, reading people's herat. very good skill for moredern society.
now i can read people's mind like an open book. and i can alter my mood and emotions at will depending on the situations. i also can use my body language and psy power to communicat einstead of opening my mouth to tok.
most importantly, i balance myself be repelling whenever the 'protons' are too high.
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Originally posted by Craptalkone:
here is pui those pee arse cee women who go overseas from their mainland to make money out of greed, its not a tough life they have in mainland - its an excuse! tehya re plain greedy.very specific. for a purpose
how much you think a small time businessman who go to a "stupid lup sup pub" can offer to the woman? its all cheap cheap cheap.
there is no honor to men who pick up lup sup women from lup sup pub, the woman who lost out to a lup sup woman from a lup sup bar should know where she stands, or she would be like some people from prc, pui pui pui all the way.
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yep, agreed. pui pui dorty women prc. now chinatown that area a lot.