Hi,
I just got together with my GF for 3 months, althou there were rough patches, we worked things out and things are getting better.
today she tld me that her company is sending her overseas for 2 yrs to start something there.
I'm afraid this can be a big hit and affect our relationship.
we just started not long ago and things are stable yet and moreover, we are in our 30s, not young already, these 2 years might really be very important
up to her to choose career or u.
if give up career, u yang de qi her ?
A weak relationship crumbles during the test of time.
2 years only and your heart is shaken. She is not going to prison, merely to another country easily accessible with flights and there's always technology. Skype/Facetime etc.
If all you care about is your physical gratification, then this relationship is truly not meant to be.
Are you more concerned about her fidelity or your potential infidelity?
Originally posted by FireIce:up to her to choose career or u.
if give up career, u yang de qi her ?
Not like she's losing her job if she doesn't go over
Originally posted by jojobeach:A weak relationship crumbles during the test of time.
2 years only and your heart is shaken. She is not going to prison, merely to another country easily accessible with flights and there's always technology. Skype/Facetime etc.
If all you care about is your physical gratification, then this relationship is truly not meant to be.
Are you more concerned about her fidelity or your potential infidelity?
Not sure if i expressed myself correctly, wat i'm saying is tht i'm afraid it might happen cause i hear so many cases like this tht i'm scared.
to me, 2 yrs is not long but we aren't young anymore, if wanna settle down then it's during these 2 yrs
Originally posted by redname:Not sure if i expressed myself correctly, wat i'm saying is tht i'm afraid it might happen cause i hear so many cases like this tht i'm scared.
to me, 2 yrs is not long but we aren't young anymore, if wanna settle down then it's during these 2 yrs
Are u sayin that if she don't go, your relationship will be guarantee success? Both of you will have a happily ever after and tons of offsprings IF she forgo overseas stint?
Are you sayin , you cannot settle down if she goes for 2 years ? Have you proposed to her already?
You haven't even given her shitz reason to stay.. yet you are expecting her to give up her future for you?
If one day your company want to promote you and make you CEO but post you overseas for 1-2 years .. you'd ask to end your relationship?
Lets be brutally honest here mr.
I doubt it's the timing, but rather you didn't like the idea she's given better opportunity than you.
Your male ego is making it hard for you to deal with the fact that she may become more successful than you'll ever be.
If you are so pessimistic about this relationship, why don't you just quit your job and follow her oversea ? But... your male ego ain't gonna allow that , no ?
There are many relationships/marriages that survived overseas postings. People who knows who their loyalty lies and are accountable for their own actions, typically will not end up with a broken relationship.
If you have no confidence anyway.. it wouldn't matter where she goes.. rather its a matter of time .
I recommend that instead of you letting your male ego think for you.
It's better for yourself and your relationship to be SUPPORTIVE of your girlfriend.
Everyone is attracted to positive minds. Such person are the ones you want to weather life's up and downs with.
A wet blanket is a downer.. negativity will suck the life juice out of anyone living too close to a pessimistic person.
You can choose to be her sunshine or the black hole.
Either you give her the support she needs , find ways and means to keep the relationship strong...
Or you can keep making her feel guilty about taking that oversea posting.. so you can feel like a man when she cave under pressure... just so she can prove her undying love for you.
Hey man,
It's gonna be tough, but I'm sure you can plan occasional trips over to visit her and vise versa.
Sometimes a little distance can create more affection.
2 years. Well, you can treat it like another NS term to serve brother :D instead of ORD-ing at the end, probably this time is ROM :P
Whatever your choice is, all the best!
hey jojo, thanks for the input.
it's rather long, so i'm not sure where to start to reply to you but there are some that makes sense and some that don't.
I defintiely dnt have any male ego involved in this, it's really just being unsettled knowing that there are so many relationships that failed cause of this (apart from what you said tht there are many which did work out), maybe I'm just too afraid to let go.
maybe i'm just thinking too far, at the end of the day, it's the part of us not getting any younger that brings it down. We would want a healthy baby if we end up together but aft 2 yrs, she'll be at risk due to her age.
if only we are much younger, then i got no problems at all :(
Originally posted by Freedomwithaprice:Hey man,
It's gonna be tough, but I'm sure you can plan occasional trips over to visit her and vise versa.
Sometimes a little distance can create more affection.
2 years. Well, you can treat it like another NS term to serve brother :D instead of ORD-ing at the end, probably this time is ROM :P
Whatever your choice is, all the best!
well, guess tht will be a big "test" for us :(
Originally posted by redname:Hi,
I just got together with my GF for 3 months, althou there were rough patches, we worked things out and things are getting better.
today she tld me that her company is sending her overseas for 2 yrs to start something there.
I'm afraid this can be a big hit and affect our relationship.
we just started not long ago and things are stable yet and moreover, we are in our 30s, not young already, these 2 years might really be very important
Originally posted by zulkifli mahmood:
Let her go then later who knows...you can join her overthere...start a life there....right.
neh, she'll definitely be back.
unless her parents move there too, she's very much attached to her parents
Originally posted by redname:neh, she'll definitely be back.
unless her parents move there too, she's very much attached to her parents
Originally posted by zulkifli mahmood:
Well bro, you seems to know her well and very confident of her...so why you so worried? By the way, may I know which country is she going to be posted to?
well, i'm someone who goes by "sh!t will happen". even thou there are things tht i'll be confident but rarely.
north thailand
LDR.... Nyuuuuu!!!
All the best man... both of yous will need to be making some serious effort to maintain your r/s.
Originally posted by zulkifli mahmood:Ah…Chengmai I presume. Well, maybe she will come back to Singapore. My brother’s wife is from Chengmai. After living in Singapore for more than two decades and having a Singapore citizenship, now my brother, his wife and daughter are living in Thailand. Anyway, you can always visit her there for a holiday…it is a nice, cooling climate and very beautiful place for the international tourists to visit….I guess your girlfriend must be in the hospitality service industry like in hotel line perhaps?
early childhood :)
Originally posted by redname:early childhood :)
Originally posted by BadzMaro:LDR.... Nyuuuuu!!!
All the best man... both of yous will need to be making some serious effort to maintain your r/s.
which scares me cause this is my 1st relationship and i already know sh!t abt an ordinary one and now a more dificult one comes along :(
Originally posted by zulkifli mahmood:
What you mean...both of you have been going steady since childhood?
no lah, she's in early chilhood industry :)
Originally posted by redname:no lah, she's in early chilhood industry :)
really so sad!! you sould also go with him and try job there for yourself. Otherwise, this will make your relationship a littebit weak.
Originally posted by redname:which scares me cause this is my 1st relationship and i already know sh!t abt an ordinary one and now a more dificult one comes along :(
Think of it as baptism under fire. lol.
But I think you should have a serious discuss with her and see how u can make things work between you two. Dont give too much expectations yet you must also give assurances on your part.