lost everything after married

• IndonGirl

  15 Oct 13, 19:16

  For most couple after marry will have a happy married life but not mine. Really regret with this married but what can I do, I can't turn back time. I feel like what happen to me is unfair. Now I really need an opinion about what I have done. But you need to take time to read my long story to understand what happen to us. I was being introduce by my brother in law sister to her friend. This guy is a fatty guy and not handsome but they told me he is really a good guy, hard working, can say a success business man (since he own a big house at spore), and very respect to parents. After meet once, he start to message me and then call me, and we become close friend. For me, live until age thirty haven't marry still ok but above that become a worry for me and my parents too. I scare to start a relationship, afraid being cheat or they just want to have fun. Hear and saw unhappy married life make me scare too. Many friends and relative shock after know that my husband so fat. He is more than double of my weight. And many may think that I want him because he is rich, own big house. I can't stop them. For me, as long as he is a good guy, don't like drink, don't like gambling, hard working, responsible, respect and can take care of me. Its already enough, no one is perfect in this world. I as women also have to understand myself. If he is better than that then will be good. Everything goes well. He show me that he and his family relationship good. He and his family all also very good to me and my family but now no more. After married, I just known that husband is a gambler. He and his family relation is actually no good. Maybe his father want him to faster get married because his father also already give up of him. His father then told me that his son have been banded from spore casino. Can u all imagine what will u respond when u hear this? This is really a cheat to me start from the time we known each other. On the fifth day after married, he told me he have meeting so go out very early around 7 o'clock. The next day also the same told me he have meeting. Then on weekend he told me his friend have a resort at Batam and ask me to go with him so we go. At ferry he just told me that actually we are going to ship casino. I don't know why he have to bring me there, have to let me saw he gambling. On the 12th day after married, again he told me have meeting. This time I already feel something wrong with him. At noon I try to call him but no answer, then his office girl call me ask where is he? They said they can't contact him that's why ask me. Until night he still not come back home, I can't contact him and his father (that time his father is on travel) I don't know he go gambling or got car accident. Nothing I can do except crying. I don't know what mistake I have done so he leave me like that. Then I call my parents and let my parents know what had happen. My parents then call my brother in law sister ask her are they known this guy well? Are they known whether he like gambling or not? And the answer my father get is they are friends but they not 24 hours together. At around 11 or 12 o'clock I just got message from husband told me that he is ok ask me don't have to worry, he just miss the ferry and will only came back the next morning. At this time suicide really come to my mind. The reason for gambling is because he have spend a lot for a wedding dinner party at 5 star hotel. I never ask him for those lux party, why he have to spend it he not afford. What can I do is only forgive him and give him a chance. And I told him that when his father back from traveling, I have to let him know this. He beg me not to do so and I said sorry I have to for ur good. And when I told his father, I heard a lot of bad habits about him from his father. Its really a very complicate, need a lot of time to explain it. Father said his son bad things and son told me his father bad things. For me I don't care and don't want to get involved in their family problem. As long as husband is a good guy, responsible, respect and can take care of me is already enough to me. He call my parents ask for apologize of what he have done. Apologize is accepted. Again after one month married, on our first anniversary of proposing date. He told me that he feel no good and need to have a rest so we cancel go out for celebrating. Suddenly at night he told me he have to go out, go fish port. I just trust him, he go out until the next morning around 11 o'clock just came back. In the morning his father told me that I have been cheat by husband again. Where got people go fish port until this time ( its around 9 o'clock) haven't came back? I just keep quite have no answer because I also don't know well anything about singapore (I am a foreigner). From that I starting to check what he did, his phone, follow him where ever he go ( as suggest from his father too). I do all this for his good too, although he might feel annoying. During the time going out/ follow him, I found out that he seldom want to care of his job, seldom want to stay at office. When I ask, he told me now business is low so what for stay at office, must go out look for order. And I never again. They we often go out visit his friends, meet up with his friend, pay his gambling debts and sometimes meet client. Again, he told me that he want to meet friend and because I also have to do house thing then I can't follow him. After 11 o'clock night haven't come back,call him he said he is at his food store. At 12 o'clock haven't come back, 2 o'clock haven't come back, call him many time but he no answer my call then at 4 o'clock morning I ask his sister bring me to his food store and I can find he or his car at there. His sister then send me back home. Again what can I do is only cry, it is not possible to wake up his father and let his father known. I feel really sad, wanna commit suicide, but I still love my parents and I remember my parents told me no matter what happen to you, here is still your home, you have parents, don't do stupid things, you can come back anytime. In the morning, his father knock my door ask me am I ok and ask me to go down have breakfast. In this situation where got mood to eat. I just stay at my room never let my parents know, then his father ask my brother in law sister come to pick me. I don't want, I don't them to get involved in this problem anymore since they said they are not 24hour with him, say this married is because we decide not forcing by them, they are just introduce. I also don't know why my father in law have to do this, ask me to leave house is not a good solution for me. But then although I already said I don't want to go with them, they still come. For me, at spore they are the closest friend/ family I have. They already come want to help me why I reject them, it is no good. So I follow them go their house and stay there for few days until my parents come. My parents then come with me to meet father in law ask what is actually happen, why things become like that. Then father in law said he fell so sorry to me and my parents for this case, say he know his son have many debts outside and he owe spore Along too. And ask my parents don't help to clear his son debts. I don't know it is true or not because he never told me and always don't want to share with me his problem. At that time, he come back home and sit together with us, say sorry to my parents. We then sit together with his friend without his father, discuss how to solve his debts problem since he told us he have such big debts outside. The only way is he have to sell his house, clear his debts and move to smaller house and start everything new. Although his father don't like him to sell house, but no other way. Starting from that, he and his father relation become worst. They don't talk to each other. Son don't want to come back home have dinner together as usual, don't want go office. While father in law almost everyday call me back home eat dinner together. Me in the middle of them really hard , don't know what to do will be good. Before my parents go back, I ask him to write what ever he promise me in an agreement letter so everything in black in white not just promise, apologize, forgive since he want to start his new life. In agreement letter mention that he will let me manage his financial, will give 30% of his reminding money after house sold, after clear debts. And the rest will keep in bank with joint account name. He promise to be truth and many more. Hear husband have many debts and some more owe Along, he know I don't like he gambling he still bring me to casino, he starting shout at me. Everyday follow him go out make me become scare of him, dunno he will bring me to Along to clear his debts or not. Stay at home scare Along come look for him and he not at home then look for me how. I think a lot of all this thing. I don't know this will happen in spore or not but if in my country this will possibly happen, Along can come to look for his wife. Don't know how he did until he become so pity, no money until have to take from his coin box money for meals. When got money, have to pay for debts. Maybe this condition make him become always have bad mood. When I check his phone, who is he talking to, he feel angry. All this make me feel sad too. I think it will be better for both of us if I go back my country until he settle his problem. He can have less expend and can concentrate look for new job new business to do. I also don't have to be face his family faces since they become unhappy with me too because I allow husband to sell house to clear debts. Then I told husband I will go back until everything settle, leave him struggle him self. Am I a bad wife? All this is just unfair to me. What people can said is I bring unlucky to their family, just joint their family and many thing happen. While the truth are I have been cheat since from the begining, before married. Husband already a gambler and have many debts outside before we married. Husband already being warning many time by his father about his gambling habit. For forum readers (expecially girl), if you are me. What will u do?
• Summer hill

  15 Oct 13, 20:51

  Aiyoh, you stupid ar. Is this an arranged marriage? Did you date him?

  I will ROFL if you tell me that you tell me that you married without dating him. I will on a higher scale, ROFLOL, if you tell me that you dated him for at least 2 years without finding out his gambling habits. 

  No choice loh, divorce. Filed it under that husband reckless and irresponsible gambler, cut away from him.

  And then, get a cat. 

• Craptalkone

  15 Oct 13, 20:55

  hsk hsk...cum hook singpaore men lah...

• Summer hill

  15 Oct 13, 20:57

  Originally posted by Craptalkone:

  hsk hsk...cum hook singpaore men lah...

  Opps, didn't read the username. Is TS a mail-ordered bride? 

  No wonder didn't date lah. And of course no chance to examine the partner's life and personality. 

• All the Best!

  15 Oct 13, 21:07

  Giv him a chance again but if he doesn't want appreciate it then shall divorce him.

  although I'm a boy

• IndonGirl

  16 Oct 13, 00:33

  Thanks for ur respond. I am not a mail-order bride. We are introduce by his friend when I visit spore. We have date but as u know we are from diff country so of course can't often date like in the same city. Sometime he visit me and vice versa. Usually I stay at spore just few day because I still working, he also can't always accompany me have to work and I feel not so good to every time go spore stay at his friend house. That's why I think should be ok if we don't take long time in relationship since many people I trust said he is a good guy. He and me also not young already. Before married, I ever said want to cancel. I found out that he talk more than action. I think I need time to know him more but what can I do he told me that if cancel I have to responsible for the dinner party too. Its a dinner party at 5 star hotel, so expensive. Me where got so much money, some more I just post my resign letter as he ask me to stop working and start prepare for wedding things. He said he will give me pocket money and will take care of me. At that time, many thing happen to his family too, father sick go hospital, brother got car accident. His friend also had scold him because of his bullshit, then I think give him a chance see how. If until the married day he still not done some of what he promised me then I will cancel my wedding. After resign he did give me pocket money 2K/ month as he promise. He did some renovation for our new room. No one tell me he is a gambler. During his tough time, he got send me pocket money too but of course not as much as he promise. He send every time I ask money from him. Come back to my country, every month also have expenses. I think its no wrong for me to ask from him, am I right? We seldom message or call each other already after I come back to my hometown. I hate to hear I miss u, I love u. For me all this is bullshit. If u love me, should u cheat me, should u hurt me. Just wait and see whether he will do what he promise me or not. When he ask me when will I go back to him, I told him will go back after his problem settle, house sold, I got my part as he promise me. Many time he ask me and I give the same answer. But then I rethink, will he give me those money? Why not just push him to faster buy new house. And when not enough, can u those money that he promise will give me. So the next time he ask when will I go back, I told him after he buy new house, If not I will not go back. Finally house sold, he already got money he forgot what he promise me, he forgot he already married and wife still waiting for him to do what he promise. I message him ask him have he find new house? How will he give me my part as he promise me. I message him many time ask him how and he don't want to reply me. Then after a month I call him, ask him how, I told him it is not possible for me to keep staying at my hometown, hiding from people. And the answer I get is 'I will not give that money, I have put all money into business so if u want to come back then come back otherwise I can't force u too. I will only give you allowance every month'. Is this what he should answer me? Is this my husband? I told him to give me money so I can do some business since I don't know I will stay here for how long but he don't want, he said he never ask me to work here but ask me to go back to him. If readers are me, will u just go back like nothing happen? Then I told him, he still owe me. When I am there, he ever borrow money from me. He also haven't give me enough for my allowance as he promise. This time he send 7K for me. He have send money, if readers are me, will u go back to him? I think many days and still can believe this horrible marriage . Is he ever love me? Really love me? Why when the time I ask for cancel, he don't want to cancel. Is it a mission behind this married? So stress every time think of this thing. Why my life become like this? Am I did a big mistake in my past life that's why now I have to receive all this. Suicide or be crazy always come to my mind every time I can't cool down my mind. I feel so unfair, have been cheat from the beginning we know each other. Are we girl born to be cheat, to be bully? I want to find my woman right but I don't know how? I really can't endure anymore what he had done to me, I message him said that better we separate and start prepare for all the documentation if he can't do what he promise me. How can I trust him if he always promise but not do it? Told me will stop gambling but who can guarantee. His attitude, irresponsibility, unrespect, nothing can make me feel happy and secure to be with him anymore. He no reply me, then I call him and told him. The answer I get is ok tomorrow will look for lawyer to settle. He really hurt me again and again although I want to divorce should he straight away told me that. Why he didn't say ok we cancel when I ask for cancel. This is men, I don't know is all men like this or not but for sure is I really can't trust anyone anymore except my parents. if readers are me, what will u do? Will you go back to him since now he already have job have business, have give you money, have promise will not gambling? But no house and didn't do what he promise write on agreement letter.
• jojobeach

  16 Oct 13, 02:26

  IndonGirl, you want house ? Go buy one yourself.

  You want money ? Go work and earn it yourself.

  You've been quite the parasite so far. All you have done is want your husband to prove his love and loyalty to you with his money money money.

  To you, the whole marriage centers on "No money, no honey!". That's just disgusting.

  You've cheapen yourself to nothing but a money sucking whore, yet you think you are too good for that man ? Frankly, you and him are a perfect pair.

  I think your husband should simply divorce you.

  He's a gambler, if you can't accept that, if you have some dignity, you'd have left. Instead you linger on using money as the basis of compromise. His weakness ( gambling) is your golden goose, your excuse for more emotional blackmail and monetary extortion.

   

  Even if he give you the sales proceed, even if he buys the new house, he's still a gambler. And that's never gonna be good enough for you.

  You've taken more than your fair share in this marriage. Now get out while you still can , debt free.

  Or he can go get a China girl pregnant , come home and throw you out like a cow dung , file for divorce and make you pay for half his debt.

  You think you are so smart , want to play with fire, you're gonna get burn.

   

   

   

   

   

• Genie99b

  16 Oct 13, 09:56

  hi indongirl,

  i sympathize with yer plight. u wish to control the finances bcos u cannot trust him to do it since he is a gambler. hence u feel insecure

  problem is because it is his $ he will be against it.

  whether to divorce or not is yer call. but it looks like its heading that way.

• IndonGirl

  16 Oct 13, 10:30

  Thanks jojobeach for your respond. I think you don't have to be angry, I just want to hear for sporean opinion about what had happen to us. I am not sporean so I not sure how is spore culture. Can they do that to me? From what u write, is it mean as a wife should go back to husband since he have send his wife money although he can't do what he promise you. With that money, we should forgive him? Am I marry him because of money? Only two of my best friends known the reason why I want to try to have relationship with him. For me, not because of fat then they can't have bf/gf. Fatty also a human and I ever fatty before. I understand that situation. Friends just laugh me me and said u are sa gua. Its hard for me to just forgive him like that. Because of his gambling, he had no related to his family anymore ( this is what he told me). This may mean he is so bad until his family don't want him, he no more work at his father company and now he become his father business competitor. At spore I have no one closet except husband, if I go back and he still can't stop his bad habit then how, what can I do? if again he broke until have to collect his coin box ceiling for meals, then how? That's why I want him do what he promise me, not just simply promise. His financial if not manage properly, soon sure will bankrupt. He ever told me because I stop him for gambling, then he give salary to his friend to help him gambling and lose. Can u readers imagine this? Me after married to him, of course have to find way to safe our new life new family but if like that how can I. As suggest from his father too that I have to manage his financial because he like to spend $ on people, treat people. Earn 1K spend 1,1K. Husband also ever said that he can't manage $, so why he don't want to share with me when he want to spend $ in big amount, why don't want to let me manage his financial if he can't manage it. Once lost it is very hard to earn back those money. Live together without respect, trustees it is meaningless too. He might be share our problem with his friends, told them that he got send me $ and I still want to divorce. So now his friends don't want to reply me. I don't know am I do over to my husband, since he have cheat me from the time we known each other (it is just like a plan) and give a big problem to me and his family too. Am I wrong by asking him to do what his promise me? Now he told me his lawyer said before one year married, married can be cancel, so don't have to go through divorce procedure otherwise have to wait for 3-4 years. Is it true? After we have go through the wedding process; family, relatives, friends had attend our dinner party, now said cancel.
• IndonGirl

  16 Oct 13, 10:36

  @genie99b Thanks for ur respond. Many time I try to safe our marriage life but seems like no way already. He seems like no fault at all. And the way he told me really make me up set. "I won't give u ur part, I have put all into business. If u want,u come back otherwise I also can't force u" should he told me that?
• Fugazzi

  16 Oct 13, 12:20

  TS, When one looks for love, security or ... in a marriage (relationship, not excluded) it is merely that of exploiting each other by all means possible to fulfil each other's needs. It is fine if it is made known at the outset. However, it rarely is done so; as is it bound to reveal one's one foibles. Many lack courage, many lack self-honesty and simply jump into a ... so as to secure and milk the ... for whatever it is perceived as worth. This is a self-effacing stance and in the long run most likely untenable and unsustainable. Blaming another for one's predicament is a cop out. In short, it is a mutual benefit scheme!
• All the Best!

  16 Oct 13, 12:45

  I think this whole marriage is a plan planned by his family.

  get a Private Investigator and check on him if u would like to.

  but think u shld divorce him 

  one way is get his money and divorce the other way is Juz divorce. Wish u good luck!

• IndonGirl

  16 Oct 13, 13:14

  @all the best I think I won't have to do that. Rice already become porridge. The one introduce us is my brother in law sister, and if problem become big it is no good for all of us. Just learn from this, never ever simply trust people no matter who are they. What I want is divorce and his truly apologize to me and my parents of what he have done to us. Want to divorce also problem for me, I don't know how to process it. He only tell me if before one year can be cancel( funny right where got this thing, friends relative all already know we married, we have sleep together then said cancel, so unfair to me right), if after one year have to follow divorce process.
• All the Best!

  16 Oct 13, 13:23

  I'm not too sure abt divorces, but u may want to go to google to search for things regarding divorce in sg.

• IndonGirl

  16 Oct 13, 13:30

  I did google and read for the procedure but many I don't understand. My english not so good. If I can suddenly stop breathing, everything will be easier and I won't be so suffer like now
• All the Best!

  16 Oct 13, 13:35

  Never giv up

  ask some sg friends or friends around u and ask them if they could translate for u

• OMSI123

  16 Oct 13, 13:41

  Originally posted by IndonGirl:

  I did google and read for the procedure but many I don’t understand. My english not so good.

  If I can suddenly stop breathing, everything will be easier and I won’t be so suffer like now

  Cool down first. Look into the matter. Don't panic at first sight. Everything will be fine. You need to investigate. So just be normal and look into the problem. Just ask your friends for help (Good friends not those act act people). Watch every move.

• jojobeach

  17 Oct 13, 00:38

  Originally posted by IndonGirl:

  Thanks jojobeach for your respond.

  I think you don't have to be angry, I just want to hear for sporean opinion about what had happen to us. I am not sporean so I not sure how is spore culture. Can they do that to me?
                                                

  From what u write, is it mean as a wife should go back to husband since he have send his wife money although he can't do what he promise you. With that money, we should forgive him? Am I marry him because of money? Only two of my best friends known the reason why I want to try to have relationship with him. For me, not because of fat then they can't have bf/gf. Fatty also a human and I ever fatty before. I understand that situation. Friends just laugh me me and said u are sa gua.
                                                

  Its hard for me to just forgive him like that. Because of his gambling, he had no related to his family anymore ( this is what he told me). This may mean he is so bad until his family don't want him, he no more work at his father company and now he become his father business competitor.
                                                

  At spore I have no one closet except husband, if I go back and he still can't stop his bad habit then how, what can I do? if again he broke until have to collect his coin box ceiling for meals, then how? That's why I want him do what he promise me, not just simply promise. His financial if not manage properly, soon sure will bankrupt. He ever told me because I stop him for gambling, then he give salary to his friend to help him gambling and lose. Can u readers imagine this?
                                                

  Me after married to him, of course have to find way to safe our new life new family but if like that how can I. As suggest from his father too that I have to manage his financial because he like to spend $ on people, treat people. Earn 1K spend 1,1K. Husband also ever said that he can't manage $, so why he don't want to share with me when he want to spend $ in big amount, why don't want to let me manage his financial if he can't manage it. Once lost it is very hard to earn back those money.
                                                

  Live together without respect, trustees it is meaningless too.
                                                He might be share our problem with his friends, told them that he got send me $ and I still want to divorce. So now his friends don't want to reply me. I don't know am I do over to my husband, since he have cheat me from the time we known each other (it is just like a plan) and give a big problem to me and his family too. Am I wrong by asking him to do what his promise me?
                                                

  Now he told me his lawyer said before one year married, married can be cancel, so don't have to go through divorce procedure otherwise have to wait for 3-4 years. Is it true? After we have go through the wedding process; family, relatives, friends had attend our dinner party, now said cancel.
                                                

  It is apparent you have absolutely no idea what you got yourself into.

  1. You took a great risk marrying someone you hardly know. It's too bad he turned out to be a COMPULSIVE GAMBLER. Instead of the wealthy prince you hoped to bag.

  2. Your husband is a COMPULSIVE GAMBLER. It is an ILLNESS, there is NO cure . He can only TRY to resist, but more often he will succumb to gambling again due to his weak mind.

  3.  You keep harping on his promises. You keep waiting , hoping he will turn a new leaf.  That if he fulfilled his "promises" he will be a "new" man. He is fatty, you have FAT HOPE. Now stop LYING to yourself that this will ever happen.

  4. Instead of crying and blaming everyone around you, ADMIT you made a mistake trusting people to take care of YOUR marital life. Now take CONTROL and MOVE on with your life while you are still able to.

  5. COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS will lie to you and take your children's allowance to fullfill their gambling needs. Unless you are a VERY strong woman and is VERY smart , and knows how to PROTECT yourself and your finances, it;s likely you AND your children will SUFFER financial RUIN.

  He can give you $3000 today, tomorrow he will get into a $10,000 debt.  He gives you 10,000 today , tomorrow he will take on a 30,000 debt. You will NEVER win.

  Compulsive gamblers do not think like a normal person. His logic is totally out of wack. You cannot reason with him to stop his gambling.

  You are lucky you have no children with him yet.

  It is obvious you are neither smart enough nor has a strong personality to stand up to a compulsive gambler  to sustain a relationship with him.

  Life throws you a curve, and you want to die. Over a stupid mistake and someone you have absolutely no control over. Weak minded.

  There are many women with young children out there who end up marrying Alchoholic/ABUSIVE husbands who beats them up every day.  Go visit a shelter for abused women and see what they had to go through !

   

  Yes  less than 1 year is annulment, but both of you will have to LIE to the court and claim you have not consumate the marriage yet.

  Since you are ignorant to the Singapore's court.. you need to hire a family/divorce lawyer to get yourself out of the mess you jumped into.

  Pray hard he will not contest the divorce, else it will delay the process and cost you more money.

  Pray hard he is not a vindictive person. You took so much from him, do you think he will let you off so easily ? He can always exact payback if he wants to. The more you take from him, the more he'll make you pay.

  You may think he is fulfilling some of his promises by giving you some allowance. In fact, he is throwing money at you , GAMBLING on you to go back to him ( that's his return on his money) . That's why he will never give you everything you ask for. He is not as stupid as you think he is.

• zulkifli mahmood

  17 Oct 13, 13:01

  Tujukan kepada Mbak IndonGirl. Mbak asli nya darimana di Indonesia?
• IndonGirl

  17 Oct 13, 15:35

  That's why I also don't want to be foolish forever. I choose to leave him alone to let him settle his problem. Although his friends said I am not supposed to leave him in his hard time. At that time, nothing I can do too, want to support him but not sure is he had tell me the truth? Is it still have any other debts he hide from me? Will he do what he promise me? How if house still can't sold thus he bring me to Along to clear his debts? All this ever come to my mind. He had cheat me many times, from small thing to big thing. For me, if today he so cham like this is because of business bankrupt then sure can blame me but this not. This because his gambling habits. Luckily I came back not staying there waiting for his house sold and get my part as he promise. ( Life already so cham, still can say lucky :D ) @jojobeach, what u said is true, lucky no child yet. Just sharing, u know when I called him told him that he might be become papa soon. He just say good and talk bullshit then suddenly he got a call from customer and hang up my call. After that never ask me anymore until about a month then he ask me are u really pregnant. What the **** is him? No matter how busy, he shouldn't don't care like this. He just totally diff from the one I know, maybe this is the truth of him. I feel this life is so unfair to me. I lost trustees of people, lost my friends, lost husband, lost virgin ;) am I born to be cheat, to be bully, to be betray. Some more now his friends might think I am money face too. No body will understand me if this thing not happen to them. So 'bo gam buan' Want to sue him, but what for? It just waste money and time and still not sure yet will I win? I not sporean. Pray more, trust God more trust people lessssss @zulkifli I am from somewhere in Java Seandainya di negri ku sudah ku cincang" tuch org.
• All the Best!

  17 Oct 13, 15:55

  Tell him that's hv a big tummy to test him if he's still true for u. If not, u hv no choice but to divorce him.

• Summer hill

  17 Oct 13, 16:42

  Your english is terrible 

• IndonGirl

  17 Oct 13, 17:25

  Mine? As long as can be understand, ok liao lo.
• All the Best!

  17 Oct 13, 17:47

  Ya IndonGirl is foreigner, as long as is able to understand can le.

• zulkifli mahmood

  17 Oct 13, 17:50

  Originally posted by Summer hill:

  Your english is terrible 

  
  I think not. For someone like IndonGirl from somewhere in Java to speak the English language at this level....is considered quite good.