My Sexuality Crisis
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Hi everyone from singapore. It is me, i once posted something about cross dressing a year ago, and i am BACK to share my life so far.
The situation has gotten even WORST. I am have a SEXUALITY CRISIS. First i will talk about 1year ago.
i Am a male 17 this year, still a student. i have Taken a fancy to wearing female cloths/shoes/make up ( etc, etc ) since i was the age of 12. I also have a OVERWHELMING fetish for long hairs. *ahem* not pubic hair, the one on your head.
Back then, i have made research and somehow categorised myself as a crossdresser, as i still like females only. I am not attracted to males. Now, i find myself fantasizing of being a female and have a family and is enjoying myself. I felt lost. Now i start to think, i do not want to just dress like a female, i want to act and be like one. i think i have actually starting to be attracted to certain males too. So now i am actually attrated to BOTH SEX. i think i am going crazy, i must have some sort of mental disorder. I thought about maybe going to have a gender change a few years later, but my mind would be like in a war. Reasons of going through sex change and not are fighting with each other.
I told myself, if i did change my gender into a female, i will be able to wear female cloths, act like one outside in public without fear of being judge as i would really look like a female and would not be noticed easily. But if i were to change my gender into a female, i would not be able to be in relationship with a girl and have a family. i would not be able to get pregnant and give birth to a baby if i were to marry a guy. If i were a female, i would want to go through that process... to take care of the family as a female.
If i stay as a boy, i would not be able to *act* like a female and dress like one in the public without fear of being judge, and there is really no point doing it hidden right? i would not be able to enjoy what ever a female is enjoying in their life, that sux.
Looks like i'll have to sacrifice something in exchange for another thing. Life is never fair ain't it ? Let's say if i do made up my mind of changing into a female, will my friends and family accept it ? Not to forget, ''Singaporean'' parents. That's a whole new problem. Sigh... why can't i just be a normal =(
This is just a brief story yea, can't really think of much to say now. Please do not insult me with any bad comments yea. It takes one with the same problem to understand another one fully.
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coming out is never easy.
and u will be going NS soon.
if u r going to declare, it will be a record.
physically u will nt be a female even with sex change op.
give urself more time to know wat path u relli wanna take.
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ya lor, cannot have real ovaries and womb and real boobs and real vagina
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You don't have a crisis.. you are what you are.
Sex change is a permanent alteration, and you will need hormone injections or meds for the rest of your life. Are you prepared for that kind of life long sacrifice ?
IMHO, While it's inconvenient doing what you do now.. it's probably better than a sex change at a young age. Perhaps you may want to consider that after 40 when you are absolutely certain of your sexual/gender orientation.
I say take it slow.. and enjoy being both gender for now.
Being a mother requires maternal instinct.. are you equipped with that ? Having children is about self sacrifice.. if you are currently having trouble or too busy with your self... it will be unfair to have a child and put him/her through your personal turmoil.
Live and be happy with whatever you choose to be.
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that's means he she a transformer lah?
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ya...it could be just a transitional phase and it may just pass as you grow older.... just don;t do anything rash at the moment. if you can afford after coming out to work, see a phychiarist.
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wait until you 30yo. if after 30yo till transformer hgo see shrinker
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There is nothing wrong with crossdressing lah...people who advise you against it are man who are so afraid to try it..
It doesn't make you gay or transexual.. you wear female clothes and it turns you on.. because it's FEMALE clothes.. and girls wear FEMALE clothes.. of course it turns you on..it's a fetish..
A lot of crossdressers are STRAIGHT..
And when you look at a ladyboy, and have the hots for that ladyboy.. it's because that ladyboy looks FEMALE.. so, of cos a hot ladyboy, you will get turned on.. that still makes you STRAIGHT..
If you get turned on by mascular MAN-looking guys, you are gay..
If you actually want to be a woman.. like a ladyboy.. and have a male guy as your boyfriend.. then you are a ladyboy...
If you just get turn on by female clothes, and wearing it turns you on.. you are STRAIGHT and just have a fetish..
You don't need a psychologist to correct you, because you never needed correction.. there are a lot of crossdressers in the world, and many guys who are closet crossdressers who hide behind in secret.. probably your therapist is a crossdresser..
We man are horny.. how many things we haven't tried secretly in the dark to satisfy our urges.. so, those guys who try to condemn crossdressers.. don't give me that crap to make yourself look saintly or masculine.. you want to be so clean.. go be a priest..
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crossdresser are okay if tey do it in public and wiht a valid reason to,
those that like to wear ladies wear and lingerie and do it quietly are really got problem one.
but me i think i got a more serious problem,. i like to crossdesser in a sheep's skin.
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After much consderation, i've actually come to the decision that i would start my transition when im 18, as young as possible as i want to live through my young adult years as a girl and not as a boy. Have seen a psychologist, and yep, am diagnose for gender identity disorder.
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Originally posted by CN:
There is nothing wrong with crossdressing lah...people who advise you against it are man who are so afraid to try it..
It doesn't make you gay or transexual.. you wear female clothes and it turns you on.. because it's FEMALE clothes.. and girls wear FEMALE clothes.. of course it turns you on..it's a fetish..
A lot of crossdressers are STRAIGHT..
And when you look at a ladyboy, and have the hots for that ladyboy.. it's because that ladyboy looks FEMALE.. so, of cos a hot ladyboy, you will get turned on.. that still makes you STRAIGHT..
If you get turned on by mascular MAN-looking guys, you are gay..
If you actually want to be a woman.. like a ladyboy.. and have a male guy as your boyfriend.. then you are a ladyboy...
If you just get turn on by female clothes, and wearing it turns you on.. you are STRAIGHT and just have a fetish..
You don't need a psychologist to correct you, because you never needed correction.. there are a lot of crossdressers in the world, and many guys who are closet crossdressers who hide behind in secret.. probably your therapist is a crossdresser..
We man are horny.. how many things we haven't tried secretly in the dark to satisfy our urges.. so, those guys who try to condemn crossdressers.. don't give me that crap to make yourself look saintly or masculine.. you want to be so clean.. go be a priest..
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sorry loh......nowadays a lot of tee ko, hum sup priest lo....... ask xmm to gum lan jiao and have sex........
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Originally posted by Ä«Õß:¸ïÀë:
sorry loh......nowadays a lot of tee ko, hum sup priest lo....... ask xmm to gum lan jiao and have sex........
the law dont take care of kongkee's case more such things wil lhappen. already the religious hiring and firing ladies during pregancy is challenging MOM law, and got priest like to have hi lanjiao been kummed.that's why i say yu like those churches be rich, they will eventually rulled spore.
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Originally posted by UhhOhh:
After much consderation, i've actually come to the decision that i would start my transition when im 18, as young as possible as i want to live through my young adult years as a girl and not as a boy. Have seen a psychologist, and yep, am diagnose for gender identity disorder.
Hey buddy, I hope it is not too late for me to write a note to you.
Personally, I do not think you should change your gender. You are born as a male/boy and meant to live as a boy/man. Your purpose/function is to be a man and be a father and help to continue the human species. In fact, it is everyone’s job to help continue the human species, which is why we are all born with reproductive organs. If you change gender, you would no longer be able to reproduce, not even artificially because you won’t even have the organs to reproduce. How would you then be able to fulfill your purpose of being created?
You should seek treatment, counseling, etcetera, since you are diagnosed with gender identity disorder. Learn to be a man, brother.
You know, in the past, boys are valued more than girls. Today, most people still value boys more than girls. Do you know how honourable it is to be a boy? Yet, you want to demote yourself to be a girl. =.=
It would be a waste if you change your gender, you know that? You are given the role to be a boy and want to change it to girl. Do you know how many girls out there admire us boys and actually wish that they were boys? Be proud of yourself that you are a boy. It is an honour to be a boy. :)
Here's my two cents worth offered to you.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
You don't have a crisis.. you are what you are.
Sex change is a permanent alteration, and you will need hormone injections or meds for the rest of your life. Are you prepared for that kind of life long sacrifice ?
IMHO, While it's inconvenient doing what you do now.. it's probably better than a sex change at a young age. Perhaps you may want to consider that after 40 when you are absolutely certain of your sexual/gender orientation.
I say take it slow.. and enjoy being both gender for now.
Being a mother requires maternal instinct.. are you equipped with that ? Having children is about self sacrifice.. if you are currently having trouble or too busy with your self... it will be unfair to have a child and put him/her through your personal turmoil.
Live and be happy with whatever you choose to be.
This is proof that Jojo Biitch have crazy son. Jojo has biitch instincts, that is why son end up retarded. Don't listen to screw up mother like Jojo. Go for your instincts. Visit IMH, and ask them for psychological evaluation to see if you can fit into public life if you have a sex change. -
poting the didi becum eununch
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Originally posted by Pervertedboy:
Hey buddy, I hope it is not too late for me to write a note to you.
Personally, I do not think you should change your gender. You are born as a male/boy and meant to live as a boy/man. Your purpose/function is to be a man and be a father and help to continue the human species. In fact, it is everyone’s job to help continue the human species, which is why we are all born with reproductive organs. If you change gender, you would no longer be able to reproduce, not even artificially because you won’t even have the organs to reproduce. How would you then be able to fulfill your purpose of being created?
You should seek treatment, counseling, etcetera, since you are diagnosed with gender identity disorder. Learn to be a man, brother.
You know, in the past, boys are valued more than girls. Today, most people still value boys more than girls. Do you know how honourable it is to be a boy? Yet, you want to demote yourself to be a girl. =.=
It would be a waste if you change your gender, you know that? You are given the role to be a boy and want to change it to girl. Do you know how many girls out there admire us boys and actually wish that they were boys? Be proud of yourself that you are a boy. It is an honour to be a boy. :)
Here's my two cents worth offered to you.
hey you know how closed your mind is? we were not created for any specific reason. we are supposed to figure out what we want with our life. thats the journey of life. do you even know what gender identity disorder is? and the way you said your last statement is as if guys are superior. a girl can do anything a guy can do. it is not an honour to be a guy, it is just something normal. so i say if he feel like he was supposed to be a girl then i think he is ready to take the step into womanhood. i support him.
so here's MY advice to you OPEN YOUR FRIGGING MIND.
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Other than the fact that there's no way you'll ever conceive a baby, could you elaborate on "fantasizing of being a female and have a family and is enjoying myself"?
With some luck, you might be able to find a great woman whom you can live a life with. I'd imagine that playing the female role in the family refers to being nurturing... all the motherly characteristic. If you ask me, why can't a guy play that role? There's alot of iron ladies out there too, who prefers playing the more dominating/protective fatherly role. (To clarify, luck is required here because not many people are able to accept crossdressing, whether straight/gay or guy/girl).
I'm not in favor of you going for gender reassignment. It doesn't help you become a real woman anyway, while you're permanently on hormones pills and have to face complication with people around you. On top of it, you're straight.
Personally, I think a good middle ground is being a motherly figure in the family you're going to create, less the gender reassignment (& crossdressing, unless you can find a woman who can accept this)
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As you have mentioned that it all started out with a fantasy and fantasy are fragments of your imagination. It may feel so real in your dream but it isn't there real. Do you get it?
Ever heard of the quote " What we think, we are". Because you started to think that you really are a female, this thing happens. It is good to lessen this habits of thinking by stopping yourself to indulge in the activites that promote such fantasy. Go learn a certain meditation that may help to lessen your sexual desire. Go spend your energy in something else that nourish your soul. You can be happy without such fantasy too.
Because you mentioned that it was fantasy in the first place that leads you to feel that you are attracted to both sexes. The keyword is fantasy. The feeling comes and goes. It may not last long. Therefore, keep cool and calm. Let time determine whether do you really want to have an operation?
By the way im not saying that you cannot be a cross-dresser or a bisexual or a transgender. i believe that true love has no boundaries and is unconditional. You are who you are. People are inherently unique.
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everybody's beautiful in their own way...