Help needed for my son
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Dear All,
I am new to this forum.
I am facing a problem which is affecting me greatly. My son ,age 17, seems to be suffering from social phobia ( social anxiety disorder ) for quite some time.
Initially, I thought he is just feeling shy as a normal person. However, it seems to be more than that. He always avoids going to dinners and family gatherings with me and his dad. He even fears to go down to the nearby shops and buy groceries.
He also does not go out with his friends and always stay at home during weekends. I'm really worried for him as I wonder how he is going to find a job in the future and settle down.
Is this phobia able to be cured? I am considering to bring him to see a psychiatrist for consultation but I'm worried whether the records will be kept confidential and whether he will have problem finding job in the future due to this. Will there be such problems?
I am looking forward to your kind advice and will be grateful to you.
Thank you,
Gladys Wong
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oni like tt when turend 17????
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do you think employers need to see yr son's records to know that he has a problem if it is this obvious? please seek professional help to identify the problem asap!!! bless you and yr family!
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Dear FireIce,
Nope he has been like this since 14 yrs old.
Thnks for the blessings Tripsky
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Samaritans of Singapore (SOS): 1800-2214444
Singapore Association for Mental Health: 1800-2837019
Sage Counselling Centre: 1800-5555555
Care Corner Mandarin Counselling: 1800-3535800
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Refer: www.imh.com.sg
The Institute of Mental Health (IMH) is a 2,000-bed acute tertiary psychiatric hospital situated on a 25-hectare campus at Buangkok Green Medical Park. Set amidst serene surroundings, IMH offers a comprehensive range of psychiatric, rehabilitative and counselling services for children, adolescents, adults, and the elderly.IMH’s tradition of care started in 1928. We were the first mental hospital in Singapore, starting with some 1,000 patients. Since then, many advances have been made in treatment, training, and research. Our treatment integrates evidence-based therapies, supported by the departments of clinical psychology, nursing, occupational therapy, and medical social work, to provide holistic care for our patients. IMH is equipped with modern facilities, with 50 wards for inpatients and seven Specialist Outpatient Clinics.
IMH was the first mental health institution in Asia to receive the Joint Commission International Accreditation in 2005, a highly coveted international accreditation for healthcare organisations.
Over the years, IMH has gained a reputation for quality research. In 2008, the Ministry of Health, Singapore, entrusted IMH with a S$25 million research grant to implement translational and clinical research into the causes of schizophrenia and related psychotic disorders.
IMH also plays a key role in training the next generation of mental health professionals in Singapore. We train psychiatrists and mental health professionals through the NHG-AHPL Residency Programme for psychiatry and through collaborations with the local tertiary institutions.
Address
Buangkok Green Medical Park
10 Buangkok View
Singapore 539747
If you are facing a mental health crisis, please call our Crisis Helpline at 6389 2222 or seek medical help at our 24-hour Emergency Services located in our hospital. -
NS have counselling hotlines for you to call if need arises.
The counsellors are experienced professionals.You can call them at the following counselling hotlines:
- SAF : 1800-278 0022 (SAF Counselling Hotline)
- SPF : 1800-255 1151 (Police Psychology Service Department)
- SCDF: 1800-286 6666 (SCDF Counselling Hotline)
If you think you have been treated unfairly, you can bring up the case to your Commander. We will listen to your case. Do remember to bring along all facts and supporting documents.
We will do our best to address your concerns. Servicemen are to seek redress through proper channels. Together, we can address your issue more expeditiously.
================================================================
COUNSELLING
The SAF seeks to promote the well-being of every serviceman by providing
counselling support for those whom might be facing difficulties coping with their
personal or work/training related problems. Servicemen who are experiencing
difficulties can seek help through the avenues described below.
Commander interviews of all recruits are conducted within 48 hours of enlistment into full-time NS. Regular interviews are subsequently conducted on a monthly basis during the PTP/BMT phase. Special interviews are also granted upon request. Servicemen can highlight their difficulties during these interviews for assistance.
Orientation Officers identify, assist and counsel BMT recruits with adjustment
and/or other personal problems.
NS SAF Counselling Hotline is a 24-hour confidential telephone
counselling service provided by the SAF Counselling Centre. Manned by
trained counselling personnel, the SAF Counselling Hotline offers a crisis
and telephone counselling service to all servicemen. Callers may
choose to remain anonymous. Face to face counselling is also available
at the SAF Counselling Centre upon request/referral.
SAF Paracounselling Scheme complements other existing counselling
services and provides another avenue of help at the unit level for those who
need help to deal more effectively with their problems. Paracounsellors are
specially selected, trained by and work closely under the professional guidance
and support of counsellors from the SAF Counselling Centre. Paracounsellors
can be identified through their identification badges as well as through publicity
posters displayed in their units.================================================================
Being psychologically prepared is all about knowing what to expect and being prepared for it.
To be better prepared, you can participate in Total Defence activities and Open Houses organised by the SAF/SPF/SCDF.
Perhaps you should also talk to your family members and friends who have lived the NS experience. The more you discuss with others, the more comfortable and mentally prepared you’ll become.
Because NS life is different from civilian life before enlistment, there are many adjustments you need to make.
A good way to cope is to get support from your buddy and fellow recruits. They are going through the same tough training as you, so talking to one another will help relieve some tension.
In most evenings during your leisure time, you’ll also have some time to call your family or loved ones to talk. They can give you emotional support during NS.
You can have a one-on-one interview sessions with your officer to highlight any problems you may have. If you have a personal or family problem that need to be addressed, do let the officer know—he may be able to give you some advice or time off to settle your problems.
Life in NS revolves around structure, routine and discipline. This helps us stay united as a uniformed organisation as well as imparts the rigours necessary to protect our nation and citizens.
This does not mean there is just work and no play. In fact, after a few weeks in NS and you’ll find new friends and new reasons to smile!
As a soldier, one of the biggest adjustments you’ll have to make quickly is in regimentation and discipline.
Being in a uniformed organisation, you’ll have to obey orders from your superiors. Thus some of you may feel a sudden lack of freedom to do what you want and you may find yourself having difficulties accepting authority initially.
Regimentation and discipline build strong character and toughness, so that you’ll be tough enough to handle difficult combat, crime-fighting or rescue situations without giving up or breaking down.
When you first enlist into NS, you may have concerns of being in a new territory, with new faces and new things to do. But don’t let this get to you. Just remember the saying that “when the going gets tough, the tough gets going”.
Following are some tips on what you can do to prepare yourself psychologically:
- Adopt a positive perception
- Build up physical stamina
- Develop good working attitude and habits
- Overcome psychological stress
- Adopt teamwork spirit
- Learn to be independent
- Set realistic expectations
You can also speak to your friends or family members who have been through NS. Ask them to share their stories. The sharing will help you reduce some of your fears, uncertainties and doubts.
During NS you’ll be living with different people.
Because these people come from different backgrounds, they may not think like you do or react to situations like you would. Instead of trying to select your type of people, you should cherish the diversity. This is a chance for you to learn more about your fellow mates and their cultures.
You’ll find that you have many opportunities to absorb the different cultures—during training, eating, chatting or just seeing and listening. Take these opportunities and learn from people around you, you’ll have a much better appreciation of Singapore’s cultural diversity.
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Who ar? I am a very socially friendly person, I can become friends. Tell him to go online to this forum lor.
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Originally posted by Gladys Wong:
Dear All,
I am new to this forum.
I am facing a problem which is affecting me greatly. My son ,age 17, seems to be suffering from social phobia ( social anxiety disorder ) for quite some time.
Initially, I thought he is just feeling shy as a normal person. However, it seems to be more than that. He always avoids going to dinners and family gatherings with me and his dad. He even fears to go down to the nearby shops and buy groceries.
He also does not go out with his friends and always stay at home during weekends. I'm really worried for him as I wonder how he is going to find a job in the future and settle down.
Is this phobia able to be cured? I am considering to bring him to see a psychiatrist for consultation but I'm worried whether the records will be kept confidential and whether he will have problem finding job in the future due to this. Will there be such problems?
I am looking forward to your kind advice and will be grateful to you.
Thank you,
Gladys Wong
Hi Mrs Wong,
These are a few questions I'd like to ask.
Are you close to your son? Do you understand him? Have you spent enough time with him? Do you know what are the problems he is facing?
- Thomas
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mayb is the parents problem.
in the parents' opinion sin is like that.
like one stupig shipping assistiant nia, computer problem oh say name file as numbers can solve problme.
you know what i am doing or not? dont understand dont anyhow say - everyday oly spread rumors. know why you have to stay in this company, take low salary? no ne force you - door is there you cn go. people offer you 1 dollar you note ha[[y can go why stay? coz u bobian, cannot get jobs outside. cannot get better pay otuside.
not happy with pay? leave. only those grumble becoz they not happy with pay and cannot leave so bobian suck thumb.
one reason i see mayb the son is occupied with beter things to do - or find the gatherings a chore and you alway nag at him
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Employer will understand that need proof it if he have anxiety, society issue.
U can take your son to KKH or TTSH or SGH or IMH. See Psychiatric doctor will give your him low dose medicine for him calm down.
NOTE: eac did post on top u need see first.
Don't make him angry very affect mood swing up and down. Let him really as more book about anxiety how to take care himself and how to handle his anxiety.
Don't blame yourself Mrs wong no one want this expected happen to your son.
Take care of yourself & your son.
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his son's an introvert.
nothing wrong with that.
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Originally posted by Gladys Wong:
Dear All,
I am new to this forum.
I am facing a problem which is affecting me greatly. My son ,age 17, seems to be suffering from social phobia ( social anxiety disorder ) for quite some time.
Initially, I thought he is just feeling shy as a normal person. However, it seems to be more than that. He always avoids going to dinners and family gatherings with me and his dad. He even fears to go down to the nearby shops and buy groceries.
He also does not go out with his friends and always stay at home during weekends. I'm really worried for him as I wonder how he is going to find a job in the future and settle down.
Is this phobia able to be cured? I am considering to bring him to see a psychiatrist for consultation but I'm worried whether the records will be kept confidential and whether he will have problem finding job in the future due to this. Will there be such problems?
I am looking forward to your kind advice and will be grateful to you.
Thank you,
Gladys Wong
Your son may be suffering Agoraphobia. He will need theraphy to help him deal with the issue.
Consult a certified mental health professional.
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Originally posted by Craptalkone:
his son's an introvert.
nothing wrong with that.
Craptalkone is right. This is not even a mental illness but it has to do with lifestyle habits. Maybe the iphone your son is using keep him very busy.This is similar to my sister's problem which is she refuse to eat after using iphone. I suggest you take his iphone away from him and sell his iphone to Cashconverters and then buy a cheap phone for him to use. -
I agree with jojobeach.
We are here open voice out feel free to talk and share and our option is different thinking each of us. Don't judgment without looking the big picture.
We all are not doctor not professional counselor or therapist. Each person have different disorder.
If you are doctor show us certificate if talk negative not agree.
How many austim and lunatic and mad in Singapore if you are not parent of such kid or adult have this illness. Don't give wrong option any happen will you brave take on your responsible for this.
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Hello fireice....
How are you? Don't misunderstood I post
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misunderstood?
cant even understood deh
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Your son may be suffering Agoraphobia. He will need theraphy to help him deal with the issue.
Consult a certified mental health professional.
please agreee wif. mei am not a hot young man but i am a very unique and special old pot bellied cheeko pig brother uncle.
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Hi Gladys,
You need not worry too much about your son.
Just to check if he has any friends ? Do you know the frinds he si mixing with and what is his hobbies .
I believe that you are not communicating well with your son .
As you know , kids are so distracted with the iphones , ipads , computers , starhub movies and so on ... where do they have time to go out .
If he is doing fine with his studies , then he is fine .
When I was 17 years old , I did not even dare to do a simple presentation in class . My hands will shiver and I would stumble all the way . I just hated it .
No one is born to be socialable . It takes time . Instead of sending him to a psychiatrist which will demoralise him further, find out his interest . Send him for some motivational courses instead . If you need some , I can recommend you . He will meet people who are like him and he will eventually open up .
He will be fine :)
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To impose one's preconceived ideas and ... what it is to be ''normal'' is already nuerosis. We all border n are in many ways afflicted with personality disorders of some sort. To assume that one is no so, is lying to oneself. He is only 17 and I m inclined to emphatize with him, in spite of the professed concern. Beware the do-gooders! (Comparison is the culprit)
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Those who know not the severity of some mental conditions are ignorant to the danger.
A friend of mine had a panic attack while he was driving. He is lucky to be still alive today, but the pedestrian was not.
But then again, better to be surrounded by fools than to be called out as one.
If all of us are crazy, then what is the meaning of neurosis ? The irony.
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jojo, you make a good mother. if u have ason liek taht he wil sure need a mother like u
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We are so obsessed with what LOOKS good on the outside, that we often overlooked what is inside of our shell. Asians especially, the thing about face value.
While we strive to put our best foot forward, yet walking around in a rotten underwear.
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a lot of people have anotehr type of problem and people just dont see it. they cannot be alone for a minute cannot keep their anuses shut for a minute. when nothing to disturb they will walk around tok cock sprout untrue gossips anout otehrs. some dont liem what they doing disturbing them but just give in while otehrws having same social disturbing behaviors join them the smae kind.
you may think your son got a disease or psycho problem, but the problkem is sociality alsoall got another big psycho problem already. worse is, gahmen aslo promote this type of social disorder, thus distru\urbing otehr people who may wnat to have some moments of peace.
thes epeople cannot kep thei ass shut fo a moment, when no one to tok cocok ot, they take out their iphoe and samsuck phones ans asrt pressing ang and pressing.