i've been thinking......
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I still think you should know her more before marriage....how about going out regularly after 6 ~ 12 more months then decide? Just to be safe...otherwise divorce in the future can be a sticky problem!
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spoke with her ytd, it's was a reallu rough weekend for the both of us, emotionally.
suddenly she seems like a different person and to make things worse, the area of change was 1 of the major factor on how come i was attracted to her.
i thot of it, it seems that i don't feel anything beneficial or looking forward to in this relationship except for physically spending time together.
my gut feelings tells me to let go but my mind tells me to hold on.....
she was shocked tht i felt this way and very sorry for it. she says she'll try to change so i've given this relationship a 2nd chance, we'll c what happens :) -
Originally posted by Demon Bane:
I still think you should know her more before marriage....how about going out regularly after 6 ~ 12 more months then decide? Just to be safe...otherwise divorce in the future can be a sticky problem!
i've spoken to her ytd and she realised tht it's her just being insecured abt things aft the last failed relationship.
she wanted us to be together so much tht she traps me in.
she knows she's being selfish and would try her best to let go of her insercurities
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Originally posted by redname:
i've spoken to her ytd and she realised tht it's her just being insecured abt things aft the last failed relationship.
she wanted us to be together so much tht she traps me in.
she knows she's being selfish and would try her best to let go of her insercurities
Couples always have problems....its how they deal with them that's most important. For your case, I noticed some incompatibility there....based upon what you found out about her, its gonna get much worse problems....you see, you discovered more about her everyday....more to come....Give it a try....if you really got issues with what you found, then let go....
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Originally posted by Demon Bane:
Couples always have problems....its how they deal with them that's most important. For your case, I noticed some incompatibility there....based upon what you found out about her, its gonna get much worse problems....you see, you discovered more about her everyday....more to come....Give it a try....if you really got issues with what you found, then let go....
can u elaborate about the incompatibility and problems?
just wanna see whether i have the same thots
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Originally posted by redname:
can u elaborate about the incompatibility and problems?
just wanna see whether i have the same thots
You are truthful in your ways when you are with her, but she keeps alot of secrets? Or she always "acting" when you are together....that's why when you found out more about her, you are being shocked ! When you start relationship, try not to act too much...just be yourself....for her she is the exact opposite of what u think of her....now that's incompatiblility there....unless i am wrong? You decide...its your life....
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Originally posted by Demon Bane:
You are truthful in your ways when you are with her, but she keeps alot of secrets? Or she always "acting" when you are together....that's why when you found out more about her, you are being shocked ! When you start relationship, try not to act too much...just be yourself....for her she is the exact opposite of what u think of her....now that's incompatiblility there....unless i am wrong? You decide...its your life....
oic, not exactly secrets (maybe there wasn't any better words to use) but rather expectations of a relationship.
i wanted someone strong, independant and cld kick arse by herself, someone who's comfortable in herself as an individual. i felt tht such a person will be then be able to contribute in a relationship.
when i was courting her, she appeared strong (or so i thought). she tld me her friends always look up to her as a pillar of support, someone they can share their problems with and her prev job also shows tht she can be a strong and independant person.
I was wrong in my judgement as she said that tht all this while she's been trying to hold herself, trying to be strong and tht's when everything pends up. she thot finally now she has a bf after so many yrs, she can release everything to her bf.
nothing wrg, just tht i wasn't prepared for it and not able to be strong enough for this.
this changed my views and thots of her and my feelings took a toll from this :(
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Originally posted by redname:
oic, not exactly secrets (maybe there wasn't any better words to use) but rather expectations of a relationship.
i wanted someone strong, independant and cld kick arse by herself, someone who's comfortable in herself as an individual. i felt tht such a person will be then be able to contribute in a relationship.
when i was courting her, she appeared strong (or so i thought). she tld me her friends always look up to her as a pillar of support, someone they can share their problems with and her prev job also shows tht she can be a strong and independant person.
I was wrong in my judgement as she said that tht all this while she's been trying to hold herself, trying to be strong and tht's when everything pends up. she thot finally now she has a bf after so many yrs, she can release everything to her bf.
nothing wrg, just tht i wasn't prepared for it and not able to be strong enough for this.
this changed my views and thots of her and my feelings took a toll from this :(
The most successful relationships are those whereby both party put in effort to work it out....to start a relationship is easy....to sustain it is more challenging...don't give up just yet....try it for another week or month and see how it develops...maybe you should open your mind and accept her as how she is....rather than having any preconceptions about who she is....
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Originally posted by redname:
i wanted someone strong, independant and cld kick arse by herself, someone who's comfortable in herself as an individual.
find a Leo girl
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I have a friend who sort of have an infatuation problem...the fact is he has been liking this girl for at least 2 years before he plucked up enough courage to talk to her....guess what?
After knowing her as a friend, he was shocked that her personality was so horrible! The moral of the story is: you'll never know a person until you been with them for quite a while...even that, there's no guarantee you'll like what you've found out ! Many people put on "masks" to hide their true identity....the face they put upfront for people to see...it maybe a defence mechanism...so its wise to invest some time into knowing her well...before you plan about marriage...
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Originally posted by Demon Bane:
The most successful relationships are those whereby both party put in effort to work it out....to start a relationship is easy....to sustain it is more challenging...don't give up just yet....try it for another week or month and see how it develops...maybe you should open your mind and accept her as how she is....rather than having any preconceptions about who she is....
well, we'll c how it goes bah
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Originally posted by Demon Bane:
I have a friend who sort of have an infatuation problem...the fact is he has been liking this girl for at least 2 years before he plucked up enough courage to talk to her....guess what?
After knowing her as a friend, he was shocked that her personality was so horrible! The moral of the story is: you'll never know a person until you been with them for quite a while...even that, there's no guarantee you'll like what you've found out ! Many people put on "masks" to hide their true identity....the face they put upfront for people to see...it maybe a defence mechanism...so its wise to invest some time into knowing her well...before you plan about marriage...
yes will do tht, tht's y when she ask am i certain tht we gonna end up together, moi immed say this one crunch time, i gotta think of it
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Different people view things differently. Hope you'll make the right decision !
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Originally posted by Demon Bane:
Different people view things differently. Hope you'll make the right decision !
was sharing with my close frens abt this last night.
nvr tld them b4, all the while they thot i happy happy with her cause they see the photos on facebook.
they say this gal seems a bit not right, better cut off asap.
well, will just give this a chnace and i things nvr wok well, i guess i just have to let go
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Even if you dun think you're compatible, you can always stay as a casual friend, is it not? Don't need to be girlfriend one mah...correct?
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Originally posted by Demon Bane:
Even if you dun think you're compatible, you can always stay as a casual friend, is it not? Don't need to be girlfriend one mah...correct?
u mean like restart everything?
i dnt mind but from her records, all her ex aren't frens anymore
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Originally posted by redname:
u mean like restart everything?
i dnt mind but from her records, all her ex aren't frens anymore
Yikes...that's extreme...I always thought people that dun work out as couples can still stay as friends? Unless the relationships were too heartbreaking?
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Originally posted by Demon Bane:
Yikes...that's extreme...I always thought people that dun work out as couples can still stay as friends? Unless the relationships were too heartbreaking?
well, just to make it clear, i don't mean enemies here. they just dnt contact anymore except for 1 guy who really gave her a hard time
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Originally posted by redname:
well, just to make it clear, i don't mean enemies here. they just dnt contact anymore except for 1 guy who really gave her a hard time
You seems to narrow down your social circle....there are going to be more people you will meet...why zero into this particular one? Give it some time....if not workable then leave it be....you cannot force compatibility problems...possibly why she had so many ex? Have you thot of that?
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Originally posted by Demon Bane:
You seems to narrow down your social circle....there are going to be more people you will meet...why zero into this particular one? Give it some time....if not workable then leave it be....you cannot force compatibility problems...possibly why she had so many ex? Have you thot of that?
it's hard for me to get a gf, i'm not exactly the most likeable person on earth, so i do wanna cherish the person who can accept me......
tht aside, yes i'll c how things work out and i dnt think it's fair to judge on her past although it can be the case
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Originally posted by redname:
we'll see, i'm a photographer too and i dnt mean it just because i take a DSLR and walk ard :)
rates negotiable. so please keep me informed and we can discuss in detail once you confirm ith her -
Do not marry someone whom you think is good for you.
Marry someone whom you cannot live without.
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Originally posted by Craptalkone:
rates negotiable. so please keep me informed and we can discuss in detail once you confirm ith heryou sure are determine :D
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Do not marry someone whom you think is good for you.
Marry someone whom you cannot live without.
I did thought of this but i'm sure there are lots of pple who thought of this carefully before going into marriage, knowing that they are very sure but in the end still end up divorced.
of cus there r those who have a happy marriage, so what's that different factor?
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Originally posted by redname:
it's hard for me to get a gf, i'm not exactly the most likeable person on earth, so i do wanna cherish the person who can accept me......
tht aside, yes i'll c how things work out and i dnt think it's fair to judge on her past although it can be the case
Whatever you do...just don't be too impulsive to get married...maybe you are being pressured becos you are not a "popular choice" .... and this lady comes along and fit into your daily life...just be fair to yourself....don't do it until you are absolutely sure...
