i've been thinking......
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do i really wanna be with my gf.........
i dnt know whether it's natural or not. sometimes i really wanna be with her, go out, share the good times but sometimes i just wanna be alone and find it a chore to go out.
I always thought tht when you like somebody, you always wanna go out and be with tht person but to me, this feelings of wanting to b with tht person changes, sometimes i'm dying to see her, sometimes i dnt feel anything.
this relationship seems to have much issues and everytime when something goes wrg, i keep thinking whether i shld hold on to this relationship or just let go.
we are of the age to get married and she did express to me tht she really wants to end up with me, i too want her but at the back of my mind, although I really want this to work out (she's a great girl lah), i can't convince myself tht i can promise what the future holds, so i can't tell her tht i share the same sentiments too cause i'm jus afraid sh!t happens.
PS: we've only been together for more than a month, so i wonder is it just part and parcel of a relationship :(.
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Originally posted by FireIce:
Thanks FI, this pic actually helped us resolved some issues but i wanna know how to fix my part, how do i make myself like/love her more and wanna be with her till the end? doesn't this come naturally?
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more than a mth is too short to determine
need more communication
be open and say out how u feel and work together to resolve problems
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Originally posted by FireIce:
more than a mth is too short to determine
need more communication
be open and say out how u feel and work together to resolve problems
so am i right to say tht it's actually normal?
i did try to talk things out but this gal got bad isues with security, so i'm woried abt fuelling them with how i feel
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Why not just ignore the ends when you do something?
For e.g, why not do something nice for her, why not cuddle her, because she is a special girl who deserves it, and not because she is wife-material (and therefore justifying your love for her)?
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Originally posted by SBS2601D:
Why not just ignore the ends when you do something?
For e.g, why not do something nice for her, why not cuddle her, because she is a special girl who deserves it, and not because she is wife-material (and therefore justifying your love for her)?
u mean to enjoy/think of the process instead of the results?
i do stuff like tht actually because she's my gf and i wanna do it to her, just gng tht extra mile :)
perhaps i'm trying to think of the results cause she's someone like tht and sometimes i wanna think the same way as her so tht we can have the same thought path
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Hi, it takes time to know a person. Love takes time to grow. Take heart.
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1 month nia...
if within 1 month, u feel uncertain, then wat about 1 year later or 10 years later???
think about why did u woo her in the first place...
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1 month ? U already thinking of marriage? Wow! I think you should wait until you really know her better...give it 1 ~ 2 yrs time, then decide whether to tie the knot...
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Originally posted by redname:
do i really wanna be with my gf.........
i dnt know whether it's natural or not. sometimes i really wanna be with her, go out, share the good times but sometimes i just wanna be alone and find it a chore to go out.
I always thought tht when you like somebody, you always wanna go out and be with tht person but to me, this feelings of wanting to b with tht person changes, sometimes i'm dying to see her, sometimes i dnt feel anything.
this relationship seems to have much issues and everytime when something goes wrg, i keep thinking whether i shld hold on to this relationship or just let go.
we are of the age to get married and she did express to me tht she really wants to end up with me, i too want her but at the back of my mind, although I really want this to work out (she's a great girl lah), i can't convince myself tht i can promise what the future holds, so i can't tell her tht i share the same sentiments too cause i'm jus afraid sh!t happens.
PS: we've only been together for more than a month, so i wonder is it just part and parcel of a relationship :(.
It's kind of hard to decide if you are going to end up marrying this lady since you are only dating her for a month plus. It is like deciding whether a book is great merely by reading the prologue.In that sort of circumstances, I think it's hard for anyone - not just limited to you.
Since you are already in the relationship, you probably would have quite a fair bit of adjustment, compromising and negotiation to work on. These are part and parcel of a successful relationship; a marriage is never part of this deal until you transform this option into a choice and decide that this pursuit is worth the cons to bring it into a different level.
You probably only want to marry once. Hence, all other relationships would probably end before it reaches that line.
Learn to enjoy your relationship and let the universe take over (for now).
Cheers
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You are not in love with her. She's not someone you really want.
She's just a playmate , not your soul mate.
Her insecurity issues are hers to fix.. not yours to save .
Never force a square peg into a circle hole. Find someone you will be comfortable with the rest of your life first..then work out the kinks.
Listen to your gut.
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Originally posted by SJS6638:
Hi, it takes time to know a person. Love takes time to grow. Take heart.
ok noted. thanks
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Originally posted by ^Acid^ aka s|aO^eH~:
1 month nia...
if within 1 month, u feel uncertain, then wat about 1 year later or 10 years later???
think about why did u woo her in the first place...
yah, gng back to the 1st love, i'm trying to find tht :)
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Originally posted by Demon Bane:
1 month ? U already thinking of marriage? Wow! I think you should wait until you really know her better...give it 1 ~ 2 yrs time, then decide whether to tie the knot...
we are not young liao and she wants to have a child b4 she turns 35, which is not far away
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Originally posted by Yunhaier: It's kind of hard to decide if you are
going to end up marrying this lady since you are only dating her
for a month plus. It is like deciding whether a book is great
merely by reading the prologue.
In that sort of circumstances, I think it's hard for anyone - not just limited to you.
Since you are already in the relationship, you probably would have quite a fair bit of adjustment, compromising and negotiation to work on. These are part and parcel of a successful relationship; a marriage is never part of this deal until you transform this option into a choice and decide that this pursuit is worth the cons to bring it into a different level.
You probably only want to marry once. Hence, all other relationships would probably end before it reaches that line.
Learn to enjoy your relationship and let the universe take over (for now).
Cheers
yah, i think it's just me lah, just concern and wanting to check back on myself. dnt wanna waste her time.
i did talk to her a bit abt this, she said tht my idea of it sounds like i wach too much tv and movies liao
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
You are not in love with her. She's not someone you really want.
She's just a playmate , not your soul mate.
Her insecurity issues are hers to fix.. not yours to save .
Never force a square peg into a circle hole. Find someone you will be comfortable with the rest of your life first..then work out the kinks.
Listen to your gut.
thanks for your insight.
i'm very interested to know how did you and in what ways is it a situation where it's forcing a square peg into a circle hole?
i'm pretty clear abt the part tht i must let her solve her own insecurity issues
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Originally posted by redname:
we are not young liao and she wants to have a child b4 she turns 35, which is not far away
so u are rushing the rship just to meet this "target"?
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nope, i'm saying tht there is a reason to but i'm not rushing it.
i just wanna be sure of myself and be fair to her also :)
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Good luck to you. Be wise in your choice as far as marriage is concerned.
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need photography when get married hit me up pls.
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Originally posted by redname:
we are not young liao and she wants to have a child b4 she turns 35, which is not far away
Not a good idea to rush.
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Originally posted by SJS6638:
Good luck to you. Be wise in your choice as far as marriage is concerned.
thanks
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Originally posted by Craptalkone:
need photography when get married hit me up pls.
we'll see, i'm a photographer too and i dnt mean it just because i take a DSLR and walk ard :)
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Originally posted by Demon Bane:
Not a good idea to rush.
noted :)