My bf is pushing me away!
-
Hi guys, please hear me out and help me with my problem. I really appreciate it.
My bf is a nice guy and we used to have amazing time together. Like any other couples, we had our ups and downs and we worked though it. But now he keeps pushing me further away by taking me for granted. It's like he doesn't care any more, he doesn't want to listen to what I have to say anymore. He makes me feel like I am a pest! He took our rs for granted. I started feeling so lonely in our rs. I am almost always the one who would try to fix things and now I am tired of doing it on my own. He may be insecure too. The other night, we went out for a drink with some friends and there was this guy friend who has a big crush on me for quite some time also joined. When my bf took me home, he looked upset and said things like perhaps I am better off with that guy, that he is better than my bf (that friend and I have a proper friendship and my bf knows that). I know that guy friend is the type of guy many girls would dream of marrying but I love my bf for who he is and I never look at other guys. When he said that to me, it really hurt because it was not the first time he would say such a thing. I was upset to the point I wanted to tell him if he keeps saying such a stupid thing, it will eventually drive me to that other guy! But of course I didn't because it's not what I meant and I didn't want to make him feel even worse.
I don't know why. My bf doesn't want to put in effort to make our rs work but he is afraid that I may leave him for other guys. It hurts and it's drowning.
I feel like my passion for him has faded due to how he has treated me, treated the rs. I am really tired of trying to fix things on my own. I don't want to keep asking myself what I do wrong all the time anymore. I don't want to feel like I am on my own in our rs anymore. I don't want to make myself a whining needy gf by talking to him about it anymore. I want to give him another chance, maybe last chance to realize what is happening before I can't take it anymore and walk away. But I don't know what to do anymore.
Anyone ever experienced the same thing? Any advice please?
-
he is insecure and kinda "given up"
so wat u can do is.......... grant his wish
if the other guy is really not bad u can consider
-
Originally posted by FireIce:
he is insecure and kinda "given up"
so wat u can do is.......... grant his wish
if the other guy is really not bad u can consider
but I don't want to give up on him so easily because I know he still cares alot about me. It's just like he is insecure and thinking that he can't be the bf that I want him to. He had this idea very early on in our rs that I deserve someone better so yes like you said probably he has 'given up' symptoms. But I don't want to give up on him if it is really the case. I love him for who he is and I will not consider any other guys as long as I am still with him and in love with him.
Anything I can do?
-
make him feel secure by....................totally cut off all ties with all other male homosapiens
be at his side 25/7
so u no have any chances at all to even glance at other male homosapiens
勉强是没有幸�的
-
Is school holidays is still around or haze is over that why got so many free time with bf, gf and party friends ? If you got time and energy to be upset over trival thing why didn't you help out in doing household chores at home (You can also ask your bf to clean your house for free and he also didn't have time to "胡�乱想" just like you at the same time. one stone kills two birds
)? Everyone's home must be very "dirty" by now. 
-
He's looking for an excuse to bail out of the relationship, that's what I see.
-
don't give up on the relationship since you love your bf so much... try to give him some sense of security by giving him more assurances...Originally posted by Leo277:
Hi guys, please hear me out and help me with my problem. I really appreciate it.
My bf is a nice guy and we used to have amazing time together. Like any other couples, we had our ups and downs and we worked though it. But now he keeps pushing me further away by taking me for granted. It's like he doesn't care any more, he doesn't want to listen to what I have to say anymore. He makes me feel like I am a pest! He took our rs for granted. I started feeling so lonely in our rs. I am almost always the one who would try to fix things and now I am tired of doing it on my own. He may be insecure too. The other night, we went out for a drink with some friends and there was this guy friend who has a big crush on me for quite some time also joined. When my bf took me home, he looked upset and said things like perhaps I am better off with that guy, that he is better than my bf (that friend and I have a proper friendship and my bf knows that). I know that guy friend is the type of guy many girls would dream of marrying but I love my bf for who he is and I never look at other guys. When he said that to me, it really hurt because it was not the first time he would say such a thing. I was upset to the point I wanted to tell him if he keeps saying such a stupid thing, it will eventually drive me to that other guy! But of course I didn't because it's not what I meant and I didn't want to make him feel even worse.
I don't know why. My bf doesn't want to put in effort to make our rs work but he is afraid that I may leave him for other guys. It hurts and it's drowning.
I feel like my passion for him has faded due to how he has treated me, treated the rs. I am really tired of trying to fix things on my own. I don't want to keep asking myself what I do wrong all the time anymore. I don't want to feel like I am on my own in our rs anymore. I don't want to make myself a whining needy gf by talking to him about it anymore. I want to give him another chance, maybe last chance to realize what is happening before I can't take it anymore and walk away. But I don't know what to do anymore.
Anyone ever experienced the same thing? Any advice please?
-
then maybe both of u stop seeing each other for a while
cool down a bit 1st lor
-
i say run your boyfriend over with a lorry lah!!
-
Originally posted by deathmaster:
He's looking for an excuse to bail out of the relationship, that's what I see.
Not sure if he wants out but I don't want to jump to conclusion. I will give him a chance to make it clear if he really wants that. I am already tired of trying also.
-
Originally posted by BotaHead:
then maybe both of u stop seeing each other for a while
cool down a bit 1st lor
we work in the same company so we see each other almost everyday, stop going out still meet often so it's not easy.
-
Originally posted by Bamboo Ocean Army021:
i say run your boyfriend over with a lorry lah!!
Never mind guys I've made the decision. Yesterday he did a selfish immature thing that I can't tolerate anymore. I realized he isn't worth it.
-
gong xi
-
moving forward, dun look back, life still need to go on.
-
Stay away from that guy friend. Dun u know that your bf is upset with u seeing another guy who has a crush on u? If u truly love your bf and value this rs, stop contacting that guy.
-
Oh break liao :D
-
sounds like he's not the initiative kind of guy. He will come back to you if you ignore. If he still value the realationship. If too long, then bye bye to him. find a stronger one
-
bad news, ur bf is gay
-
You are being very hard on yourself if you choose to stay with this kind of bf.
To be blunt, your bf is not worth your time, effort, money, emotions, mental health. If I am you, I will give him chance and things dun change for the better I will dump him. We can find many of this type of men on the streets la.
-
Originally posted by SJS6638:
You are being very hard on yourself if you choose to stay with this kind of bf.
To be blunt, your bf is not worth your time, effort, money, emotions, mental health. If I am you, I will give him chance and things dun change for the better I will dump him. We can find many of this type of men on the streets la.
I'm not perfect either and he is a good guy. But one thing i would expect is we share the same idea of a healthy loving rs that both need to work for it which we didn't.
-
Originally posted by DaV<3333:
sounds like he's not the initiative kind of guy. He will come back to you if you ignore. If he still value the realationship. If too long, then bye bye to him. find a stronger one
I don't think ignoring my bf is something I want. I don't want to get that kind of attention. I mean if he cares, he will show it without being 'reminded'. If he needs me to remind him then he actually doesn't truly care.
-
Same like my bro in law with his ex wife. They work under same company.
After a year they get marriage. Never think too much happen at home she scold my mother in law. They quarrel a lot time to time. Greedy wife ask my bro in law sell away 4rm flat n buy private condo and put in her name. He say no then quarrerl never think next day she go up to lawyer office she first sign divorce my bro in law. This is his 2nd marriage. She never help house work or dishes never she dun care anything. Lazy. Smoke too much. Never wear bra. Too small breast.
-
your brain is your brain
his brain is his brain
you dont know what he thinking
he dont know what you thinking
many people dont realise that instead of seeking others, the best thing to do is to face the person directly. let your opinions, thoughts and feelings be known and things can then be worked out from there.
then again, looks like my post came too late. hope both of you can move on with life.
-
Letting him go might be better for him... It'll give him a pail of cold water to wake him up...
And hope that he'll change to a better man for the future...
Who knows, maybe one day u 2 might be back together again...
-
been reading this thread for some time... how are things going on b/w ur bf and u ts?
i feel it might be a case of diff expectations/handling of r/s/problems... Mayb you would like to share what has he done or what are some of the examples how he has handled the r/s between both of u?