Having trouble with friends; want to avoid them
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I have a lot of troubles with my friends Me and my friends, we used to go for a lot of drinking. Back then, I just started working for 2 years, and was under a lot of stress. I was very badly bullied at work and felt very bitter with work. These group of friends, I've known them for more than 10 years already. We went drinking a lot, I thought nothing of spendding money. We went to a lot of sleazy bars and sleazy KTVs. Within the past 2 years, I went to sleazy KTV for a total of 12 times, not including the last time, because I left very quickly. I used to think it was fun, and a new experience, but gradually I lost interest in it. I now feel that it is bad and it involves too much drinking. The thing is, after the eighth and nineth trip, I started to feel guilty; very guilty. I felt as if I was evil. So I started to avoid my friends. I recently realised that I am not financially stable as I thought I was, due to circumstances with my family and at home, and I realised that I need to cut down on my spending , and start saving more. I have explained all this to my friends, but they don't seem to understand and they keep asking me to accompany them. Those of you whom have read my earlier post at Aunt Agony would understand what I mean. There was a point of time when I got super-drunk and I had what was called "blackout", a alcohol related memory loss. I couldn't remember a single thing. That was when I realised that I was going out of control. So I stopped, but my friends still do not understand. One thing I grew very uncomfortable with is that everytime I went out with them to sleazy bars and sleazy KTVs, my friends would start making all kinds of "requests" on my behalf; etc. "my friend here would like to know....." I have become extremly frustrated with such things because I did not want to make any such requests and have told them to stop, but they keep doing it. I have no idea why; I did not ask them to make such requests and did not want anything but they keep doing so. I am really afraid that I would get into trouble because of this. I felt even more frustrated that one of them, whom is not so close to me, started using my own name as an alias. I have no idea why he wants to do this, I don't think I will get into trouble, since he does not have my NRIC, but I am afraid that he will pass my handphone number around and I will get into trouble later on because of this. He is extremly irresponsible and I am not sure if I am able to protect myself from this; all advice is welcomed. because of this, and because I want to lead a more healthier and active lifestyle, I want to stop all this. But I have very few friends. I am hardly in contact with my NS and uni friends and I have virtually nobody to talk to. This is not an exaggregration. In the past 2 months, I have gone to work, and after over-time, gone back home to sleep and have virtually no social life. I completely have nobody to confide my problems and issues with, and I have told my mother about all this, but I need advice from people of my own age. What should I do?
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For a start join coummunity activities, meet new friends so that you have other alternative voice of caring & sharing. Next meditate before you sleep so that your mind is not stuck in such negative reminder.
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You might want to change your number too
I wouldn't even call the people you call 'friends' friends.
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just tell them 咱一刀两æ–ï¼�
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Get new friends! Like me, I like to hang around with academically-sucessful people. I went for many conference and now I have some contacts. One of them is a doctor at KK hospital! :)
Depending on what people you want to mix with, go to places filled with them.
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depend what kind of friends u wanna make
u can make friend taking up courses also
buddhism or bible course if u want to know holy friends
sports if u like outdoor friends
paralegal course? i tell u some of the legal secertary are damn chio one
if u like to stay at home type then come forums make friend lor
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...?
Just avoid them then, change ur numbers or tell them that you do not wish to hangout with them anymore.
Given that if they are mature enuff, they would at most disturb you awhile then move on... Unlike that they will hound u for the rest of ur life.
As for more friends, go join community service or hobby group or social/charity work...
Alternatively you can join the single club over here though they also drink something at night
Just drop pika an email and I'm sure that he'll invite you to their movie/pool outings... -
I suppose today, i realize why I have no friends, I suppose that the world is against me. Today, I got bullied very badly by my colleagues. My colleagues say that I am always angry. But the thing is, I feel that I am being discriminated against. My manager side with my colleague without checking with me for my side of the story or confirming the facts with me. I have thought of suicide but I am too much of a coward. So I drown myself in drink and alochol but at the end of the day, I am just a miserable loser. My colleagues hate me, everybody hates me. I have no friends. Why should the world be like this.
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Originally posted by Andylim348:
I suppose today, i realize why I have no friends, I suppose that the world is against me.
Today, I got bullied very badly by my colleagues.
My colleagues say that I am always angry.
But the thing is, I feel that I am being discriminated against.
My manager side with my colleague without checking with me for my side of the story or confirming the facts with me.
I have thought of suicide but I am too much of a coward.
So I drown myself in drink and alochol but at the end of the day, I am just a miserable loser.
My colleagues hate me, everybody hates me. I have no friends.
Why should the world be like this.
That's because YOU hate your self.
YOU are angry at yourself.
An unhappy person cannot exude happiness.
An angry person cannot exude kindess.
You simply cannot give what you do not have.
And coward indeed, you expect others to solve your problem for you. When you could have gone up to the manager to offer your side of the story YOURSELF.
Start taking responsibility for your own happiness and stand up on your own.
Stop playing the victim.You're not the victim.
The negativity in you is pushing everyone away.