Divorced parents, moving away before NS?
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Hi everyone, my name is Cassidy, and i'm very sorry my first post has to be asking for help already..but I feel really trapped and I could really use some non-judgemental help right now.. My mom died when I was very young and since then, all my dad would do was focus on taking care of me and my younger sister. A few years ago, when I was in my early teens, he talked to us about him dating again and we were okay with it so he eventually married a slightly quirky but generally okay woman. It turns out she had quite an ugly side and recently my dad caught her cheating on him.. Anyway, SHE filed for divorce against him, as if to push the blame, stating that he was an alcoholic abuser and he beat me and my sister constantly, etc. all lies. (my dad has NEVER hit us ever.) he just wants to get away from everything and he can't live without me and my sister..we're all the family each other has. He plans to migrate us back to Illinois (hometown) and he said he'll work out the divorce court stuff himself. I am 17 this year, just finished my O levels and i'm just wondering..what should I do? I had no intention of going on with my poly or JC studies, but this is all so sudden and he wants us to leave ASAP and never come back.. We're all PRs here, and my friends say Singapore could even track us down overseas and bring us back for trials! I know it sounds absurd but i'm so nervous I can't really think straight.. Nothing is set in stone yet, he hasn't bought any tickets but he's planning everything really fast, should I stand up to him and tell him this is wrong and I have to stay?.. I feel like it'd really send him into depression and I don't think I can cope living here alone with no family at all.. Can someone please help me make up my mind about this?.. I'd just leave with him and my sister if I felt it were that easy but i'm just so worried the law will catch up to me even if I don't come back..
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Originally posted by C4zz1dy:
Hi everyone, my name is Cassidy, and i’m very sorry my first post has to be asking for help already..but I feel really trapped and I could really use some non-judgemental help right now..
My mom died when I was very young and since then, all my dad would do was focus on taking care of me and my younger sister.
A few years ago, when I was in my early teens, he talked to us about him dating again and we were okay with it so he eventually married a slightly quirky but generally okay woman.It turns out she had quite an ugly side and recently my dad caught her cheating on him..
Anyway, SHE filed for divorce against him, as if to push the blame, stating that he was an alcoholic abuser and he beat me and my sister constantly, etc. all lies. (my dad has NEVER hit us ever.)he just wants to get away from everything and he can’t live without me and my sister..we’re all the family each other has.
He plans to migrate us back to Illinois (hometown) and he said he’ll work out the divorce court stuff himself.
I am 17 this year, just finished my O levels and i’m just wondering..what should I do?
I had no intention of going on with my poly or JC studies, but this is all so sudden and he wants us to leave ASAP and never come back..
We’re all PRs here, and my friends say Singapore could even track us down overseas and bring us back for trials!I know it sounds absurd but i’m so nervous I can’t really think straight..
Nothing is set in stone yet, he hasn’t bought any tickets but he’s planning everything really fast, should I stand up to him and tell him this is wrong and I have to stay?..
I feel like it’d really send him into depression and I don’t think I can cope living here alone with no family at all..Can someone please help me make up my mind about this?..
I’d just leave with him and my sister if I felt it were that easy but i’m just so worried the law will catch up to me even if I don’t come back..
Cazzidy, you have nothing to fear. There is no legal requirement for you to stay in Singapore. Unless you are also holding a Singapore passport .
As long as your father and/or you did not commit any criminal crime, the court has no reason to track your family down overseas.
Divorce is not a criminal crime, it's just an "inconvenient" procedure.
Your stepmother is threading on thin ice when she falsely accused your father of child battery/violence. She can very likely get herself in trouble if she persist.
After O levels.. you can start school at your new home in Illinois. Go into a college or university. Your options are plenty. Start a new life, make new friends, look forward to a new future.
Since you are a PR.. and have no plans to return to Singapore, all you need is just let your PR expire. If you wish to return for a visit.. you return as a tourist.
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Posted: 14 Nov 2012, 1350 hours (GMT +8)
Reply by Minister for Defence Dr Ng Eng Hen to Parliamentary Question on Number of Permanent Residents who Leave Singapore within Two Years Leading Up to Enlistment
Mrs Lina Chiam: To ask the Minister for Defence in the past five years, what is the number of male permanent residents who leave Singapore within the two years leading up to enlistment for National Service and later return to Singapore on a student pass/employment pass or on PR status.
Minister for Defence Dr Ng Eng Hen: Mr Speaker, Sir, Permanent Residents who are liable for National Service but who leave Singapore before enlistment and fail to register or enlist for National Service (NS) have committed an offence under the Enlistment Act. They are NS defaulters. Under the Enlistment Act, NS defaulters shall be liable on conviction to a fine not exceeding $10,000 or to imprisonment for a term not exceeding three years or both. They would have to fulfil their National Service obligations, thereafter.
None of them are allowed to return on student passes or work passes or on PR status, without resolving their NS offence and serving out their NS liability. -
u can follow your folks back to the u.s.a.and no sporean gov will bring u back.they can only jump up n down from far away swearing to arrest u once u come into spore again.that is a fact!
the singapore education is not recognised in the usa.and its best you go to the usa a community colledge and get some skills like electrical electronics mechanical.its like 2 years only before u start going to work.and its pretty affordable.
if u have lotsa cash,u can go take a degree which is 3 or 4 years.
dont worry about n,s,..............by the time u go to the usa..its just a bad dream.just dont return because theres too mucgh red tape leading to arrests next time u visit spore at changi airport.
illinois is a great place.
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did i tell an yone here i had a blonde girlfriend from minneasota and a brunette from tennessee??heheh
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If you think Singapore is not really what you call home, then leave and don't ever come back. If you do in the future they will prosecute you in court. However, I think your father will have difficulties in getting his CPF...I think that is the usual case for any Singaporeans or PRs when their sons migrated abroad and refuses to serve NS in Singapore.
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Is Singapore the only country that insist on "National Obligation" for PRs ?
If you go become a PR in another country... do they impose the same "National Obligations" on a PR - Singaporean raised there ?
If a child of a Singaporean go to their schools.. enjoy the social benefits accorded to the citizens in a foreign country is the Singaporean child also obligated to serve their host nation ?
When are we going to finally wake up and admit that Singapore citizenship is not as desirable globally as our politicians claimed ?
Our citizenships come with a "Catch 22". Only those from third world countries may want to get our citizenship as an escape route. They may willingly subject themselves to our "national obligation" as a price of passage for their liberation.
Those from developed countries have no need for our "prestigious"citizenship nor our "national obligations".
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...i remebered the girl from tennessee,she was a redhead with green eyes and not a brunette.
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NS obligation is the biggest problem of ths country. As pointed out when other 'better' countries dont have this obligation why would some one capable take this on?
To OP: If you dont feel the need to do NS intrinsically, move back to Illinois. You can continue with community colleges or directly to Uni with some extra effort.
All the best and keep this as a lesson not to end up with a quirk and pass on the same fate to your children.
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move and just renounce the permanent residency...
good luck.. and may your family be well