Is there any hope left for me? Unable to function in society
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deleted.
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At least you recognised you need to do something, that's the first step.
Start by thinking of something you enjoyed doing; prephaps walking, dancing, or kite flying or even bus spotting, you can find many of them in this forum . and then you can join a soical group and meet new people.
Of course, it's much easier said than done, you may feel very uncomfortable at the start. You need to push yourself out of your comfort zone to combat the shyness.
Try to look confidence psychically. Swing your arms when you go out walking. Stand up stand and straight and you will feel confident naturally.
Come into Sgforums more often, okay?
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And of course, there's still hope for you.
You hates your past. You can't forget it. You have many tramuamatic memories that cause you so many mental problems.
When you are dealing with something like lonliness, rejection and frustation the thoughts just jumbled up in your memories. You can start composing your own songs, sing them and bring comfort to millions others in the world. Go and study song-writing.
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Use your sarrow and turn it into songs.
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That;s quite a resume about yourself you have there.
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SINGAPORE - When patients feel at their most vulnerable, Head of medical social services at Singapore General Hospital (SGH) Ms Esther Lim steps in to help them make sense of what is happening.
Such patients may have tried to take their own lives or showed signs of wanting to do so. Ms Lim also helps families cope when they have lost a loved one.
The 39-year-old's helping hand is extended not just to patients, but also to hospital staff who face challenges at home or at work, for instance, if they have been abused by a patient.
In 2003, she pioneered a programme in SGH to train health-care and social work professionals in suicide intervention. It is now also offered in SingHealth's Postgraduate Allied Health Training Institute.
Since becoming a social worker in 1995, Ms Lim, who leads a team of 85 medical social workers, has received more than 15 awards. Last year, she was one of two recipients of the Outstanding Social Worker Awards given out by the Singapore Association of Social Workers.
She is married to a 37-year-old police officer. They have a six-year-old daughter.
I specialise in suicide and crisis intervention because...
When I was working in the emergency department years ago, I saw how a crisis, such as a life-threatening illness, a serious road traffic accident or an attempted suicide, can throw a family off balance.
The sense of disbelief and loss can be overwhelming, so this is where I step in to help people make sense of what is happening.
The immediate goal is to reduce the intensity of the emotional, physical and behavioural reactions, while the long-term goal is to help families get back to as normal a life as can be.
A person's life is precious because...
We live only once, so we have to live it fully and with dignity, despite our circumstances.
One little known fact about suicidal patients is...
They are not mentally ill. Anyone facing a seemingly desperate situation can be vulnerable to feeling hopeless and helpless, which may escalate to suicidal acts if the person does not receive help or cuts himself off from others.
If I were to give an analogy for what I do, I would...
Be a bridge to connect the suicidal person with the resources around him, such as family service centres, care facilities and legal aid. Often, a person may think nobody can help him, which is not true.
The eventual goal is to reconnect the suicidal person with his family and loved ones through individual, couple or family sessions.
A typical day for me would...
Start at 8.30am with administrative duties, followed by morning staff meetings or journal club sessions. I meet senior staff members regularly to plan and implement assistance schemes which benefit patients.
Other medical social workers also come to me to seek advice on cases they are working on. I co-manage the difficult cases, such as those which may involve suicide, or in which patients or family members consistently display behavioural difficulties.
I also support hospital staff members who need help and teach them coping strategies.
I have come across all types of cases...
But I find that families with strong social support fare better in crises. After the initial shock and confusion, members organise themselves very quickly to protect the affected family member by providing physiological and emotional comfort.
I love patients who...
Make it a point to turn up for their follow-up counselling sessions because this shows their readiness and motivation for change.
Patients who are forthcoming, open to working with their families and willing to reflect on themselves often make better progress.
They pick up positive coping strategies to deal with life's challenges, which range from relationship discord, financial issues to mental health or addiction challenges.
Patients who get my goat are...
Those who blame everyone else for their problems, without realising that they have a part to play.
For instance, a suicidal husband may be domineering at home and may keep blaming his wife and children, without realising that he has failed to communicate properly with them.
This can also explain the persistent suicidal behaviour in some patients. This vicious circle may wear out their loved ones and cut patients off from the support they used to have.
Things that put a smile on my face are...
Receiving handmade cards from the children of one patient whom I saw for attempted suicide and depression over several years.
Every year, though the drawings and handwriting would mature, they always conveyed their appreciation to me for being there for their mother.
It breaks my heart when...
An elderly patient asks me if the doctor can help end his life because he does not want to burden his children.
I realise, through interaction with elderly patients, that they are so stoic and self-reliant that they feel useless when they cannot contribute financially, take care of their grandchildren or, worse still, become disabled.
They have laboured hard all their lives, yet they have not come to accept that there is a time to receive unconditional care in return.
I would not trade places for the world because...
There is still so much to be done that I cannot find enough time for everything. This is what I am trained for and playing a part to restore equilibrium to lives is a constant reminder to live mine fully.
My best tip is...
To learn to take charge of emotions, thus reducing the likelihood of acting on impulse when emotionally charged.
Some things which may help include taking slow, deep breaths, sharing your problems with a trusted mentor and putting vexing matters on the back-burner, that is, taking your mind off it and revisiting the issue when you are calmer.
Get a copy of Mind Your Body, The Straits Times or go to for more stories. -
Samaritans of Singapore (SOS): 1800-2214444
Singapore Association for Mental Health: 1800-2837019
Sage Counselling Centre: 1800-5555555
Care Corner Mandarin Counselling: 1800-3535800
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Becasue i see you are still not as despertae as some even more hardcore cases. those are really ends cannot meet and extreme cases that they instead of cut hurt themselves liek to get attention, they can and they did easily jump form the 10 storeys building top down. thsoe are extreme seveere cases when the illness totally take over their mind.
you still live now shows that nope the conditions still can be harness and controlled.
your needs and short mid term solutions are very simple.
(1) financially, livelihood. are you having finacial problem for your basic necesities? meals, education lodging etc? you said you not a loner, do you are yu addicted also to other actvitie sthat do not interfere with your inability to socialize?
(2) you need to channel this negative energy into doing something that do not require you to interact much. like a hobby or sports to start with. then expand your social circle from this hobby sports or activity you do. in this way likeminded individuals will have similar topic to start a conversation and keep each otehr company active.
(3) your command of the english language is not bad. did you wrote th above or did someone else post it wrotethem for you?
can you explin further as a chld how you wre abused?
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Of course there is hope for you.
What are you good at ? or what is/are you most interested in ? Hobbies ?
Music ? Mathematics ? Science ? Art ? Hands on projects ? Computers ? Working with animals ?
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-the positive mind-
yo, live a life without regrets , failure as the mother of success. u need to hav a strong mind to handle yr failures as to push yrself harder. u r lost n the way out wld be have more knowledge on how to handle yr affairs n build self confidence.
this world owes u nothing n vice versa
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Help others will improve your well beings like volunteer. Or look for a job in prison as warrant official.
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deleted.
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self pity tats how i look at u. u looking for handout?
people look at me like i m an outcast n most of the time i m not invited to anywhere, even invited i just ignore them . but i ask wen i wan to join them .
i choose my friends n many r just acquaintance. knowledge is power n power is wat u need to lead yr life.
there r two sides of a coin , be the side of the coin wen needed.
life is like a game , the more u play the better u r
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i previously encounter cases sort of similar to you.
Frankly i know will be difficult road ahead for you....
a few advises, if it helps...
1) try to remain in treatment, with treatment the symtom is more controllable which equate to better employability..
2) frankly when looking for job.. not much job option as getting employ is slim.. But is not immpossible.. can start with like fast food restauarant.. my encounter is happiliy working in F&B..
3) seek family service centre and CDC help.. Family service centre can offer you some additional counselling when you need to and at same time may help you to find work, CDC can help you to find work... but do note, getting help from them does not means job will come automatically you too need to put in effort....
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Originally posted by lce:
self pity tats how i look at u. u looking for handout?
people look at me like i m an outcast n most of the time i m not invited to anywhere, even invited i just ignore them . but i ask wen i wan to join them .
i choose my friends n many r just acquaintance. knowledge is power n power is wat u need to lead yr life.
there r two sides of a coin , be the side of the coin wen needed.
life is like a game , the more u play the better u r
your comment of self pity i dont agree.. it would better to research those medical terms before commenting...
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Originally posted by "newbie":
your comment of self pity i dont agree.. it would better to research those medical terms before commenting...
illness is from the head. weak ppl only has self pitiness n empty in the head
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Originally posted by lce:
illness is from the head. weak ppl only has self pitiness n empty in the head
you sure?? -
Originally posted by Hampie:
Now my question is about getting job.
At 24 years old, with a completely blank resume except for name/address/bad O-level cert, how can I even get a job? I am not good at anything at all. My life since young has been spent entirely in depression, anxiety, fear, guilt and hatred.
I cannot remember the last time I smiled. I even forget my birth date because I have never celebrated my birthday as far as I can recall (maybe only when I was born, that’s it).
In the very rare chance I am accepted for job interview, what do I say to the hiring manager if he asks why am I 24 with blank resume, no job experience & no tertiary education? Should I confess that I been spending my free time at IMH and CGH? Should I tell him about my mental disorders?
Even if I do not reveal that I have any mental disorders, within the first few hours or days at a job, it will definitely become apparent. That is the nature of my conditions. Any stranger or person who interacts with me will instinctively know that I am abnormal. That is the main reason I am avoided and outcasted by people, because they sense a deep darkness and abnormality in me.
If I can even get discharged from NS because none of my officers can put up with me as I screw up everything everyday (and I never got punished even once), how easy it would be for a normal employer (who has no compulsory obligation to his employee) to fire me from a job?
Hampie.
If a person with Down Syndrome and other handicap can find a job, i'm sure you .. with all limbs functioning can also find a job.
You just need to be very honest when you apply for a job.
Your employer needs to be realistic about expectations.
The problem with your condition is that you look like a normal person. So your potential employer will expect you to perform at a normal level.
When you fall short, due to your condition, they will be dissapointed and feel short changed.. that's why they let you go.
But if you start off with realistic expectations .. giving consideration to your special conditions..they will expect less of you.. and when you perform as expected.. they will not be surprised.
Of course, you have to also be realistic about your personal expectations.. since you are well aware of your special conditions.. you need to set realistic expectations of what your potential employer is willing to pay you.
There are jobs out there and employers out there for people with similar conditions. You just need to find the right match.
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Originally posted by lce:
illness is from the head. weak ppl only has self pitiness n empty in the head
Don't be mean to him.
TS, have you ever thought about arts? Like drawing to express your feelings?
You can write songs too. You can write, right? Maybe you can join a song writing course and be a songwriter.
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TS, if you can write such a detail account of yr problem (even asking someone doing on yr behalf), there is certainly hope for you.
Don't take big step as to think about "what is your future". Take a small step first....
I have a friend who has similar problem..but maybe not as serious as yours. She is on medication and now working in a ticketing counter. No stress..
Tell yourself, i m going to focus and work for a day successfully. I will control my emotion for a full day. Next focus to work successfully for 3 days....a week and so on.
Give yourself an objective or aim why you want to do it. Have a religion to fall on would also help you.
Wishing you all the best !
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Originally posted by Hampie:
Now my question is about getting job.
At 24 years old, with a completely blank resume except for name/address/bad O-level cert, how can I even get a job? I am not good at anything at all. My life since young has been spent entirely in depression, anxiety, fear, guilt and hatred.
I cannot remember the last time I smiled. I even forget my birth date because I have never celebrated my birthday as far as I can recall (maybe only when I was born, that’s it).
In the very rare chance I am accepted for job interview, what do I say to the hiring manager if he asks why am I 24 with blank resume, no job experience & no tertiary education? Should I confess that I been spending my free time at IMH and CGH? Should I tell him about my mental disorders?
Even if I do not reveal that I have any mental disorders, within the first few hours or days at a job, it will definitely become apparent. That is the nature of my conditions. Any stranger or person who interacts with me will instinctively know that I am abnormal. That is the main reason I am avoided and outcasted by people, because they sense a deep darkness and abnormality in me.
If I can even get discharged from NS because none of my officers can put up with me as I screw up everything everyday (and I never got punished even once), how easy it would be for a normal employer (who has no compulsory obligation to his employee) to fire me from a job?
you cannot started working in normal industires. nothing with blank resume. but worry thing is the incredible hulk inside you.
go join some welfare or handicap schools. start small. what is the nearest thing you like to do? turn it to some form of work for a living.
now its getting normal getting ajob. youhave no other family commiments should be okay. its all up to you. while you can take medicine timely, don skip it, keeping a fresh open mind is the key.
i do doubt your medical conditions though. cant socialize but still cannot be alone? to my knowledge schizoids are never alone, and they usually wont mind withut company.
yors this tupe are nothing lah. just start small. IMH anyone can go in. its problem of the mind. 'depress' people also can go in. the mind is so compaex. unless you wanna go police station test the lie detector - wed see if you really go problem truth or not. dont tok about army lah, army all sorts of monkeys also got.
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Originally posted by lce:
illness is from the head. weak ppl only has self pitiness n empty in the head
i somehow agree with you to a certian level. he can discribe so detail, not that bad. i encounter before one malysian PR in my past employment. ery intelligent but got something like this related problem. on and of incredible hulk sets in. that's why the comppamy once in a while will advertise for people to join and help fight fire when he not around. post also quite high senior engineer level. -
You write quite well for an o level. Have you thought of going back to school?
You can articulate your thought well. This means you are actually quite smart.
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mayb a story write. professor X
