Soured friendship in office. To salvage or not?
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Dear friends, I need your help on this. I have a female collegue (younger than me but married), whom has been my good friend in office for about a year. Suddenly our friendship soured recently because of a string of events.
It started last mid December when she suddenly stopped talking to me. Before that, we also chit chat and crack lots of silly jokes. We often have lunch together too. However since late Dec 12, she suddenly stopped talking to me for no reason. We did not have quarrels and the week before that was all well. At first, I thought I was sensitive, but later realised that I am the only one in office she doesn't want to.
By early Jan this year, there was a time she looked apologetic and offer me food. I decided to msg her and ask her why. She just tell me sometimes she is busy and have no time to talk. And she has some personal problems, so she was quite moody that time. Although I still think something is fishy and not fully convinced of her excuse, I just pass and forget about it.
We went back to old happy friendship again. One week later, she told me she needed help on a friend's weeding gift. So I decided to help her make one. After that, I was rather proud of my work and so post pictures of the finished product online with her friend name on the gift. She saw it and told me take them down immediately as her friend is sensitive and does not want to see her name online for no reason. I hesitated a bit but remove them very soon. However she was pissed about it.
The next day, Friday, she don't want to talk to me. I just pass the gift to her so that she can give to her friend over the weekend. Back on Monday, she still don't talk to me. When I tried to apologized to her about last week's incident, she ignored me. I begin to get angry as the day passed. The next day, she still don't talk to me, and I got even more pissed. I feel it is just a small matter, since I took the pictures off the net upon her request. If it is my friend, they won't make a big fuss or even care what I post online. I feel she is making a mountain out of the molehill.
However, in the afternoon, she went round distributing food to the whole department. When she tried to offer me, I ignored her because I was very angry. When she tried to offer again, this time with sarcastic remarks saying I'm rude to ignore her, I got so angry that I stood up, ignored her and walk off because i do not want to lose my temper on her. She got very angry after that and complained to her friend she wanted to change her seat (we sat beside each other back to back).
However the next day, I regretted and thus apologized to her for the incident. She ignored me again. Since then, she did not talk to me anymore, even SMS. I tried to apologize a few times for the past week, buy a nice chocolate to apologize till the last long SMS to say sorry and why I was angry because of these incidents for the past 2 months, but she still ignores me. It has been more than a month since she talked to me and cared for me. If this continues, I think the friendship will end.
Thus I feel that she just want to end this friendship, I don't know. What do you think? What is the reason she suddenly stopped talking to me last Dec? Why did she get so angry with me for such a small matter about her friend's sensitivity of her name online while she ignored that how proud am I to finish my work? Am I not her friend as well? Why she didn't spare a thought on my feelings too? Why she didn't realised I am so hurt by her after these 2 incidents?
Right now, I just feel like giving all the things she gave me in the past back to her and once and for all, forever end this friendship. But I just can't bring myself to do it, but yet she continues to ignore me and treat me as inexistent.
So everyone, what should I do?
1. Should I throw all her gifts back to her and end this friendship forever?
2. Or should I retain and try to salvage this friendship and how to salvage it?
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are u a gril?
u both sound like 6 years old
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ooops aunt agony forum
i shldn't talk like that should i
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how old are u two?
stop playing like a kid -
An eye for an eye, makes the world go blind. - Ghandi
She is how young ? Yes she very childish.
You how old ? Yes also very childish.
You claim to be friends, but the commnication is non existence.
If I am you, I'd give her an ultimatum, ask her to her face, what is all the shitty attitude about ?
Give her 1 day to talk, if she don't want to , then end the friendship and throw away her gifts.
Friends do not punish friends. Since she is no longer interested to be your friend, then you have no need to be nice to her either.
There are friends worth keeping and there are friends not worth your time.
While she needs to grow up, you need to act your age.
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is she important in the office? if not, just ignore her. if she wants to speak to you one day, she will speak to you
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ppl solve problems by talking... but you both are trying to solve it by not talking...
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Friendship? What friendship are you talking about ? Even in manga story, writer do show the true colour of what friendship is really are mean for growth up like you :
If you really want to look for "friendship", maybe you should search at here :
1) eharmony : http://www.eharmony.com
2) Plentyoffish : http://plentyoffish.com
3)Fubar : http://fubar.com
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i think companies shold sned this types of problematic emplyees to holiday army camps or go serve NS.