And why are you getting all agitated and defensive for ?
If your kid is the one with the bruised lips , will you be as non-chalant as how you expect other parents to behave ?
It is understandable for parents to feel bad when their child get hurt. And worst if they are left feeling helpless about the whole ordeal.
That parent may be over-reacting, but YOU are the one who need to GROW UP.
Even if it's just an accident, you should have the decency to show some concern to the child condition.
If you accidentally step on someone's foot, you should apologize for the mistake. It's really common courtesy.
Perhaps your parents never teach you common courtesy because they are some low class farmers, at least you should teach your child now that you are an educated parent.
Originally posted by novelltie:my son came home once with a bite mark on his arm. the teacher told me one girl bit my son while they were playing as my son refuse to give her the toys he was holding.
do i wait for the parents of the girl and knock on their car window and asked if they knew anything about their girl biting my son? they are in a childcare, they are 2 years old… accidents do happen, grow up and face the world. over protecting a boy in singapore is not ideal, NS is a requirement. should i assume that the mother will be the same auntie that visits the MP and ask for special exemption?
That girl intentionally bite your son, and you choose not to protect your child. What kind of father are you ? Most parents will be holding the teachers accountable for letting it happen.
And yet, you get upset when other parents question you over an obvious ACCIDENT.
Do you know the difference between an intentional offense vs an accident ?
May I suggest that you do what you are suppose to do as a parent.
You are supposed to protect your children when they are unable to protect themselves.
Your child is only 2 years old and you expect him to face the world like a NS man ?
You are one heck of a messed up father.
Originally posted by novelltie:all i am saying is the parents know the facts and truth about the incident. the school has explained to them twice that it was an accident when they were dancing during music class. my son while turning lost his balance and knocked onto their boy who bit his own lips and have a bruise on the upper lips. nothing serious that require medical attention…
the idea of you knocking on my car window, signalling me to wind down and accuse my son of aggressive behaviour when YOU KNOW IT WAS AN ACCIDENT is childish and fraudulent. isn’t it basically lying? you know A stole your wallet but you accuse B of stealing it. you know the truth but decide to twist it. isn’t that immature?
Are you aware that schools will sometimes spin the story just so they don't get in trouble with parents ?
Do you know there are plenty of cases where children do get hurt DUE to school or care giver NEGLIGENCE but blamed it on accidents?
That parent just wants to ensure the school is not trying to cover up the truth.
And why are you defending your child when he is indeed the one who "accidentally" bruised that kid ? Isn't your child also LYING ? Your child could have come forth and admits he accidentally hit that kid's mouth. But he said no. Why are you ignoring this fact ?
Originally posted by novelltie:@jojobeach
why the names calling? did i offend you?
i merely vented out my “unhappiness”. why the insults? do you really have to bring my parents into this?
someone accuse your child of something he did not do. won’t you be angry too?
Very simple.
It's parents like you with your immature brain screwed on wrong, making many fathers out there look really bad.
Your unhappiness ? More like your narrow minded pettiness and failure to set a good example for your child that is pissing other parents off.
Originally posted by jojobeach:Are you aware that schools will sometimes spin the story just so they don't get in trouble with parents ?
Do you know there are plenty of cases where children do get hurt DUE to school or care giver NEGLIGENCE but blamed it on accidents?
That parent just wants to ensure the school is not trying to cover up the truth.
And why are you defending your child when he is indeed the one who "accidentally" bruised that kid ? Isn't your child also LYING ? Your child could have come forth and admits he accidentally hit that kid's mouth. But he said no. Why are you ignoring this fact ?
my boy said no when i asked him if he beat or bite the boy which he did not - fact
my son's bum knocked onto the boy when he was turning and the boy bit his own lips - fact
when did my son lie?
by the way, if a 2 year old boy can come forth and explain the whole situation in details, either you have a genius or something is not right. - fact
Originally posted by jojobeach:Are you aware that schools will sometimes spin the story just so they don't get in trouble with parents ?
Do you know there are plenty of cases where children do get hurt DUE to school or care giver NEGLIGENCE but blamed it on accidents?
That parent just wants to ensure the school is not trying to cover up the truth.
And why are you defending your child when he is indeed the one who "accidentally" bruised that kid ? Isn't your child also LYING ? Your child could have come forth and admits he accidentally hit that kid's mouth. But he said no. Why are you ignoring this fact ?
i forgot to mention, there are cameras in the school and apprarently, they have asked for the video of that day's incident.
Originally posted by jojobeach:Are you aware that schools will sometimes spin the story just so they don't get in trouble with parents ?
Do you know there are plenty of cases where children do get hurt DUE to school or care giver NEGLIGENCE but blamed it on accidents?
That parent just wants to ensure the school is not trying to cover up the truth.
And why are you defending your child when he is indeed the one who "accidentally" bruised that kid ? Isn't your child also LYING ? Your child could have come forth and admits he accidentally hit that kid's mouth. But he said no. Why are you ignoring this fact ?
my boy did not HIT the boy's mouth - fact
the video can prove it
Originally posted by jojobeach:Very simple.
It's parents like you with your immature brain screwed on wrong, making many fathers out there look really bad.
Your unhappiness ? More like your narrow minded pettiness and failure to set a good example for your child that is pissing other parents off.
me not setting a good example? which part of what my son did = bad behaviour? he merely knocked into someone. the teacher asked him to apologise and he did.
the parents who reviewed the video, heard the teacher's side of the story, know the truth, choose to ignore it and accuse my son of aggressive behaviour.
won't any parents be pissed off?
should i apologise for something that you falsely accuse my son of?
Originally posted by novelltie:my boy said no when i asked him if he beat or bite the boy which he did not - fact
my son's bum knocked onto the boy when he was turning and the boy bit his own lips - fact
when did my son lie?
by the way, if a 2 year old boy can come forth and explain the whole situation in details, either you have a genius or something is not right. - fact
"my son's bum knocked onto the boy when he was turning and the boy bit his own lips - fact"
OK. Your son's buttocks "Knocked" onto the boy... or your son's buttocks " HIT" that boy lips... whatever way you want to phrase it.
The fact is, there is an injury caused by your boy's body CONTACTING that kid's body, RESULTING in a bruised lip.
As a courtesy, you should at least offer your apologise for such unfortunate event instead of cussing that parent out.
Even if someone kids accidentally hurt my kid, I would still appreciate at least an apology to acknowledge it was purely unintentional.
Let's face it, you have absolutely no manners at all.
your child will probably grow up as ill mannered as his dad.
Originally posted by jojobeach:That girl intentionally bite your son, and you choose not to protect your child. What kind of father are you ? Most parents will be holding the teachers accountable for letting it happen.
And yet, you get upset when other parents question you over an obvious ACCIDENT.
Do you know the difference between an intentional offense vs an accident ?
May I suggest that you do what you are suppose to do as a parent.
You are supposed to protect your children when they are unable to protect themselves.
Your child is only 2 years old and you expect him to face the world like a NS man ?
You are one heck of a messed up father.
the girl bit my son's arm. am i supposed to;
1) sue to parents
2) find someone to return the favour
3) comfort my son and tells him distance himself from the girl from now on?
4) confront and ask for apology?
somethings are inevitable in childcare just like children catching the flu virus all around the school. when one has the flu, someone will get it. do i start suing the school for not taking care of my child. when i put my son into childcare, i also have to know the risk;
1) fall sick easy
2) bruise easy
3) children do play rough and fight in their child-like ways
but i have no other options. there are no other care-givers available to me. so such incident of someone biting my son when they are playing plus its a one off incident, i brush it aside as "it happens". i don't make a big fuss like asking for video of the day, interview teachers and even confront the parents. why? because i know the risk. simple
Originally posted by jojobeach:"my son's bum knocked onto the boy when he was turning and the boy bit his own lips - fact"
OK. Your son's buttocks "Knocked" onto the boy... or your son's buttocks " HIT" that boy lips... whatever way you want to phrase it.
The fact is, there is an injury caused by your boy's body CONTACTING that kid's body, RESULTING in a bruised lip.
As a courtesy, you should at least offer your apologise for such unfortunate event instead of cussing that parent out.
Even if someone kids accidentally hurt my kid, I would still appreciate at least an apology to acknowledge it was purely unintentional.
Let's face it, you have absolutely no manners at all.
your child will probably grow up as ill mannered as his dad.
the very reason why i did not apologise was; are you telling the truth? i have no idea what happened. i do not even know if you got the right child in the first place. you just walked up to my car, knocked on my window and say, "do you have any idea that your son bit my child?" i don't even know you. i don't even know your child.
as i've written. i only called up the school later on to find out the facts. so at that very moment, i don't even know what you are talking about.
Originally posted by jojobeach:"my son's bum knocked onto the boy when he was turning and the boy bit his own lips - fact"
OK. Your son's buttocks "Knocked" onto the boy... or your son's buttocks " HIT" that boy lips... whatever way you want to phrase it.
The fact is, there is an injury caused by your boy's body CONTACTING that kid's body, RESULTING in a bruised lip.
As a courtesy, you should at least offer your apologise for such unfortunate event instead of cussing that parent out.
Even if someone kids accidentally hurt my kid, I would still appreciate at least an apology to acknowledge it was purely unintentional.
Let's face it, you have absolutely no manners at all.
your child will probably grow up as ill mannered as his dad.
@jojobeach
if someone accuse you of stepping on his feet when you never in your mind
1) stepped on this person's feet
2) no idea who this person is
3) no idea what he is talking about.
would you apologise?
Originally posted by novelltie:the girl bit my son's arm. am i supposed to;
1) sue to parents2) find someone to return the favour
3) comfort my son and tells him distance himself from the girl from now on?
4) confront and ask for apology?
somethings are inevitable in childcare just like children catching the flu virus all around the school. when one has the flu, someone will get it. do i start suing the school for not taking care of my child. when i put my son into childcare, i also have to know the risk;
1) fall sick easy
2) bruise easy
3) children do play rough and fight in their child-like ways
but i have no other options. there are no other care-givers available to me. so such incident of someone biting my son when they are playing plus its a one off incident, i brush it aside as "it happens". i don't make a big fuss like asking for video of the day, interview teachers and even confront the parents. why? because i know the risk. simple
I assume you must be a first time parent.
If your child gets hurt due to INTENTIONAL actions, like pushing, biting, bullying, hitting etc... you go to the teachers and hold the school accountable.
They are suppose to take care of your child , that's what they are paid to do.
And no, intentional hurting is not allowed in any schools, period. be they toddlers or teenagers.
If you simply brush off the incident because you are too aloof or non-chalant, then you are not doing your part as a parent. You are failing as a parent.
In the case of accidents, parents should not ignore it, because what caused a minor injury could possibly also cause a major injury if left unchecked. Again. Watch out for NEGLIGENCE.
Always keep an eye on the care providing institution you put your child into. Just because you have no other options does not means you show no concern about the safety aspect of the school you left your defenseless child in.
Child care abuse is more rampant than you think.
You are leaving your child in the care of strangers, you as a parent should CARE.
Originally posted by novelltie:the very reason why i did not apologise was; are you telling the truth? i have no idea what happened. i do not even know if you got the right child in the first place. you just walked up to my car, knocked on my window and say, "do you have any idea that your son bit my child?" i don't even know you. i don't even know your child.
as i've written. i only called up the school later on to find out the facts. so at that very moment, i don't even know what you are talking about.
First of all, why is it that your school did not call you up and inform you of the incident ?
If my child accidentally caused injury to another classmate and the school had to intervene, they will call up BOTH side of the parents and explain the situation.
When you go pick up your 2 year old, did the teacher not say anything at ALL ?
Now that you know what has happened , yet you still want to piss all over them. Your posting is after the fact that you already found out what happened.
Frankly, you are no better than that parent knocking on your window.
yes, i'm a first time parent.
yes, i do agree that intentional hurting is not allowed and should not be allowed in the first place.
I brush off the incident not because i'm non-chalent or too aloof. people who knows me knows my son is my everything. I brush it off because they were playing. my son refuses to share the toy and the girl got agitated and bit him. so what did i tell my boy? it is important to share and he should have share the toy. maybe i wasn't too hard with the school but the school has been responsible and i must say impressed me with their style of management and teaching. (they are accredited and well received)
yes, i do agree that we should not ignore minor accidents as it may potentially lead to serious accidents but my son is known to run into shelves and walls and have bruises all over. I shower my son personally and i check for any injury marks everyday. it is the usual "knocked into" bruises.
I would believe the childcare is well managed as cameras are installed in all rooms and corridors. plus the boss is a fellow catholic, i would believe he takes pride and care in the childcare.
Originally posted by jojobeach:First of all, why is it that your school did not call you up and inform you of the incident ?
If my child accidentally caused injury to another classmate and the school had to intervene, they will call up BOTH side of the parents and explain the situation.
When you go pick up your 2 year old, did the teacher not say anything at ALL ?
Now that you know what has happened , yet you still want to piss all over them. Your posting is after the fact that you already found out what happened.
Frankly, you are no better than that parent knocking on your window.
i post here to vent my frustration but again as keyboard warriors, we just vent it out here. do i put names to shame them? no, i deliberately left them out. did i name the school? no, i deliberately left it out. why? because i was just looking for a avenue to vent it out instead of confronting them. is it wrong then?
yes, i agree that the school may have failed in that aspect of informing both parens of that incident. honestly, the teacher did not say anything. as i've mentioned in the earlier post, i will always ask the teachers about my son's day. did he eat well, did he pooed and did he create trouble. they did not mention anything about the incident. i cannot deny the fact but the only reason i could partially defend them is, "when we pick our children up, usually its the same time as the other parents and there is a crowd at the door. could it be they deliberately left it out or they really forgot about mentioning it to me, only God knows.
precisely why i'm pissed with them after i know the truth. as i've said, they have seen the video footage, they know it was an accident. they know the TRUTH. must they come up to me and accuse my son in front of me that my boy has aggressively injured his son? isn't that lying?
Originally posted by novelltie:i post here to vent my frustration but again as keyboard warriors, we just vent it out here. do i put names to shame them? no, i deliberately left them out. did i name the school? no, i deliberately left it out. why? because i was just looking for a avenue to vent it out instead of confronting them. is it wrong then?
yes, i agree that the school may have failed in that aspect of informing both parens of that incident. honestly, the teacher did not say anything. as i've mentioned in the earlier post, i will always ask the teachers about my son's day. did he eat well, did he pooed and did he create trouble. they did not mention anything about the incident. i cannot deny the fact but the only reason i could partially defend them is, "when we pick our children up, usually its the same time as the other parents and there is a crowd at the door. could it be they deliberately left it out or they really forgot about mentioning it to me, only God knows.
precisely why i'm pissed with them after i know the truth. as i've said, they have seen the video footage, they know it was an accident. they know the TRUTH. must they come up to me and accuse my son in front of me that my boy has aggressively injured his son? isn't that lying?
won't you be pissed off if someone also accused you of something you did not do and this person who accused you knows that you are not the culprit?
it's like a double slap across your face.
Originally posted by novelltie:i post here to vent my frustration but again as keyboard warriors, we just vent it out here. do i put names to shame them? no, i deliberately left them out. did i name the school? no, i deliberately left it out. why? because i was just looking for a avenue to vent it out instead of confronting them. is it wrong then?
yes, i agree that the school may have failed in that aspect of informing both parens of that incident. honestly, the teacher did not say anything. as i've mentioned in the earlier post, i will always ask the teachers about my son's day. did he eat well, did he pooed and did he create trouble. they did not mention anything about the incident. i cannot deny the fact but the only reason i could partially defend them is, "when we pick our children up, usually its the same time as the other parents and there is a crowd at the door. could it be they deliberately left it out or they really forgot about mentioning it to me, only God knows.
precisely why i'm pissed with them after i know the truth. as i've said, they have seen the video footage, they know it was an accident. they know the TRUTH. must they come up to me and accuse my son in front of me that my boy has aggressively injured his son? isn't that lying?
No it is not wrong to vent.
As a parent myself, I suggest you start building bridges instead of letting your anger burn it down.
Unless you have no intention of keeping your child in that school for very long, it is likely you will be having a social circle centered around the parents in the same school.
As your child grows, they will go to parties and gatherings and events , places where you will meet other parents for many years to come.
If you are socially inept, you will find yourself in quite many awkward situation when you have to attend children gathering with that parent you pissed on today.
You will be surprised how important it is for you to establish a good relationship with other parents in your child's social group.
I had a mom pull her child out from the school because she couldn't get along with other parents.
It could mean the difference for your child getting invited to birthday parties or outcasted because of you.
agreed, thanks for the advice; honestly.
Originally posted by novelltie:won't you be pissed off if someone also accused you of something you did not do and this person who accused you knows that you are not the culprit?
it's like a double slap across your face.
Now that you are a dad, isn't it about time you stop putting your feelings above your child's need ?
You are no longer the baby, your baby is now the baby.
Now grow up and be a father.
Originally posted by novelltie:agreed, thanks for the advice; honestly.
You are most welcome.