Do many Singaporean guys measure their self-worth by wealth?
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Hi everyone
I'm not so familiar with Singapore culture and all so just wanted to ask you guys if this thing I've observed is common or just an invalid assumption. I just don't want to stereotype.
So, is it true hat most singaporean guys measure their self worth by their weath, say money, cars, career and such? That said, if a guy has thse things to back it up for him, when it comes to looking for a girlfriend, he would have high expectations and think girls must be all over him?
I came up with such an idea based not only on what I read or heard but also from my own experience.
Back in my country, I got rich guys wanting to be with me (please don't flame, I just want to justify my idea). These guys they would show how wealthy they are but not in a way to impress me or win me over by such things. For example, they drive a car, whether it's an Audi, BMW or just a normal car, they wouldn't make any difference out of it then go overly proud. They'd treat me nicely because they think I deserve being treated like that and respect me for who I am. But here, in Singapore, I found something different. Although I'd live rather a luxurious life back home, I chose to live a modest and simple life in Singapore and never told anyone about my other life in my country cause just found no need to. I think this actually helped open my eyes on one thing that I would probably not get to see if I was to tell about my family background. Some Singaporean guys happened to hit on me, they were extremely proud of what they have. They'd find all ways possible to show of how loaded and sophisticated they are. For example, when they picked me up with their expensive car, they would make it like it's must be the first time I was driven in such a car, or even in a car. When they invited me to a posh restaurant, they would also make it like I must have never had chances to dine out in such a place and had such food before although I'd never let them pay the whole bill. They'd treat me nicely but at the same time they'd make me feel like they're giving me a big favour hence I must be so flattered to hang out with them. I never told them what they had on mind wasn't true or made the fuss out of these shallow behaviors. I'm still taking time to observe just to make sure I don't come up with a wrong conclusion hence to have a bias towards Singaporean guys.
But to be honest, this issue of mine with the Singaporean guys I've known has bothered me. Do many Singaporean guys really think and behave in such a superficial way? What gives?
Please don't ask me why I only got hit on by these types of Singaporean guys. It's not my choice. I really didn't target at them.
Cheers guys.
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I think so. You need $$$ to attract a wife.
I measured my worth by looks.
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Good question. Let me help to answer. When you say guys, what you're actually referring to are some guys, not all of them. There are some guys like me who don't care about how others perceive me to be. And then there are some guys who care about how others look at them, and how girls look at them, and I don't blame them because it's all part of evolution. You look at animals for example peacocks they want to attract mates, they show off their colorful feathers by displaying them prominently.
So your assumption is valid for a subset of guys, not all. There is also psychological term behind these material required to backup their social standing, it's linked to feelings of insecurity. I can talk about these in detailed but I won't give a psychology lesson here.
These guys are also likely to be driven by girls because as you already know, some girls are extremely materialistic. So guys who have experienced such materialistic girls usually react in some ways, most commonly either they will work harder to achieve those material stuff to attract the girls or people like me I will dump those girls at an instance. I stop going out with them simply because I need someone I can count on and not someone who aims my money. When you're doing business or in fact anything in life, it's unpredictable. It's when you're most down and out, you really need someone as your pillar of strength. If you make bad decisions and choose those materialistic girls and materialistic friends, then you will really suffer (lose everything) when you go broke. At least I know if I lose everything financially, I still have people to depend on, this is important when you actually encounter these life setbacks, but on normal days, you won't know how important it is, you cannot understand emotionally how important it is. Besides, when I die, I want to make sure all my fortune goes to the right people. I want leave the world with my fortune in better hands and not leave my money who lives a trap chasing after the materialistic lifestyle. You never really win, you're always in a trap, you want 1 million, you got it, then you want 2 million, you got it, then you want 5 million. It's never enough, if it's enough, you wouldn't have wanted that 1 million in the first place. Trust me, I was in that trap once thinking if I have something, I will be happy. I got that something and I am still not happy because suddenly I want more something. It's a very bad trap that can trap even smart people. It's a trap that only wise people can escape.
I can go on and on but it'll be a wall of text. Have an enjoyable new year and love your life!
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yes.
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some guys include good looks, family status.
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aiyo now weverything is measured by wealth - see so many people cum here to work, if not for more money what? everyday wake up so early or leave own coctry to cum here and contribute to our society arh?! shio kao peng.
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Don't hate the player, hate the game. LOL
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Nobody can live on love and fresh air alone.
Especially in Sg.
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lol... hear hear!
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Originally posted by DailyFreeGames.com:
Good question. Let me help to answer. When you say guys, what you're actually referring to are some guys, not all of them. There are some guys like me who don't care about how others perceive me to be. And then there are some guys who care about how others look at them, and how girls look at them, and I don't blame them because it's all part of evolution. You look at animals for example peacocks they want to attract mates, they show off their colorful feathers by displaying them prominently.
So your assumption is valid for a subset of guys, not all. There is also psychological term behind these material required to backup their social standing, it's linked to feelings of insecurity. I can talk about these in detailed but I won't give a psychology lesson here.
These guys are also likely to be driven by girls because as you already know, some girls are extremely materialistic. So guys who have experienced such materialistic girls usually react in some ways, most commonly either they will work harder to achieve those material stuff to attract the girls or people like me I will dump those girls at an instance. I stop going out with them simply because I need someone I can count on and not someone who aims my money. When you're doing business or in fact anything in life, it's unpredictable. It's when you're most down and out, you really need someone as your pillar of strength. If you make bad decisions and choose those materialistic girls and materialistic friends, then you will really suffer (lose everything) when you go broke. At least I know if I lose everything financially, I still have people to depend on, this is important when you actually encounter these life setbacks, but on normal days, you won't know how important it is, you cannot understand emotionally how important it is. Besides, when I die, I want to make sure all my fortune goes to the right people. I want leave the world with my fortune in better hands and not leave my money who lives a trap chasing after the materialistic lifestyle. You never really win, you're always in a trap, you want 1 million, you got it, then you want 2 million, you got it, then you want 5 million. It's never enough, if it's enough, you wouldn't have wanted that 1 million in the first place. Trust me, I was in that trap once thinking if I have something, I will be happy. I got that something and I am still not happy because suddenly I want more something. It's a very bad trap that can trap even smart people. It's a trap that only wise people can escape.
I can go on and on but it'll be a wall of text. Have an enjoyable new year and love your life!
Hi
Thank you all for contributing.
My original idea is not about what they focus on to build or boost up their image but more of how they show it off to the world. It's about their self absorption and arrogance that I reckoned amongst the Singaporean guys I've come across. That's why I took the guys I know back in my country for a random comparison. Those guys absolutely value and are proud of their own wealth and social position (who doesn't?) but have it showed in a proper manner for that people have high respect for them. Of course I'm not taking about all guys in my country nor all Singaporean guys. That's why I asked for your opinion.
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Originally posted by Life_as_we_know_it:
Hi
Thank you all for contributing.
My original idea is not about what they focus on to build or boost up their image but more of how they show it off to the world. It's about their self absorption and arrogance that I reckoned amongst the Singaporean guys I've come across. That's why I took the guys I know back in my country for a random comparison. Those guys absolutely value and are proud of their own wealth and social position (who doesn't?) but have it showed in a proper manner for that people have high respect for them. Of course I'm not taking about all guys in my country nor all Singaporean guys. That's why I asked for your opinion.
It's just the culture here in Singapore... the government has promoted a materialistic lifestyle and the citizens have taken the bait.
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Originally posted by Life_as_we_know_it:
Hi everyone
I'm not so familiar with Singapore culture and all so just wanted to ask you guys if this thing I've observed is common or just an invalid assumption. I just don't want to stereotype.
So, is it true hat most singaporean guys measure their self worth by their weath, say money, cars, career and such? That said, if a guy has thse things to back it up for him, when it comes to looking for a girlfriend, he would have high expectations and think girls must be all over him?
I came up with such an idea based not only on what I read or heard but also from my own experience.
Back in my country, I got rich guys wanting to be with me (please don't flame, I just want to justify my idea). These guys they would show how wealthy they are but not in a way to impress me or win me over by such things. For example, they drive a car, whether it's an Audi, BMW or just a normal car, they wouldn't make any difference out of it then go overly proud. They'd treat me nicely because they think I deserve being treated like that and respect me for who I am. But here, in Singapore, I found something different. Although I'd live rather a luxurious life back home, I chose to live a modest and simple life in Singapore and never told anyone about my other life in my country cause just found no need to. I think this actually helped open my eyes on one thing that I would probably not get to see if I was to tell about my family background. Some Singaporean guys happened to hit on me, they were extremely proud of what they have. They'd find all ways possible to show of how loaded and sophisticated they are. For example, when they picked me up with their expensive car, they would make it like it's must be the first time I was driven in such a car, or even in a car. When they invited me to a posh restaurant, they would also make it like I must have never had chances to dine out in such a place and had such food before although I'd never let them pay the whole bill. They'd treat me nicely but at the same time they'd make me feel like they're giving me a big favour hence I must be so flattered to hang out with them. I never told them what they had on mind wasn't true or made the fuss out of these shallow behaviors. I'm still taking time to observe just to make sure I don't come up with a wrong conclusion hence to have a bias towards Singaporean guys.
But to be honest, this issue of mine with the Singaporean guys I've known has bothered me. Do many Singaporean guys really think and behave in such a superficial way? What gives?
Please don't ask me why I only got hit on by these types of Singaporean guys. It's not my choice. I really didn't target at them.
Cheers guys.
I think the differences in behavior between the guys in your country vs SG guys is ... You pretend to be a simple gal here... Whereas the guys in your homeland is well aware of your background , hence they (your home boys) are more humble in the way they flaunt their wealth to you.
When I travel , nobody knows me, I am a stranger in foreign land, the guys behaves the same way as how a SG guy treats you.. And I gladly played along, pretending to be the country pumpkin. It stokes their ego a lot.
but in my home ground, guys can't flaunt their assets much, because they know I probably worth more than their bank accounts. So they flaunting is muted .
just bear in mind that however those guys wants to flaunt their wealth, they really just wanna impress you.
There's a reason why SG guys seek out women from third world country, because its much more easier to impress women from poorer country than women from a first world country like SG.
chances are, you are a rich girl from a poorer country.. Hence they thought you are just another third world chick who hasn't seen much wealth like many of your country girls.
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Originally posted by Life_as_we_know_it:
Hi everyone
I'm not so familiar with Singapore culture and all so just wanted to ask you guys if this thing I've observed is common or just an invalid assumption. I just don't want to stereotype.
So, is it true hat most singaporean guys measure their self worth by their weath, say money, cars, career and such? That said, if a guy has thse things to back it up for him, when it comes to looking for a girlfriend, he would have high expectations and think girls must be all over him?
I came up with such an idea based not only on what I read or heard but also from my own experience.
Back in my country, I got rich guys wanting to be with me (please don't flame, I just want to justify my idea). These guys they would show how wealthy they are but not in a way to impress me or win me over by such things. For example, they drive a car, whether it's an Audi, BMW or just a normal car, they wouldn't make any difference out of it then go overly proud. They'd treat me nicely because they think I deserve being treated like that and respect me for who I am. But here, in Singapore, I found something different. Although I'd live rather a luxurious life back home, I chose to live a modest and simple life in Singapore and never told anyone about my other life in my country cause just found no need to. I think this actually helped open my eyes on one thing that I would probably not get to see if I was to tell about my family background. Some Singaporean guys happened to hit on me, they were extremely proud of what they have. They'd find all ways possible to show of how loaded and sophisticated they are. For example, when they picked me up with their expensive car, they would make it like it's must be the first time I was driven in such a car, or even in a car. When they invited me to a posh restaurant, they would also make it like I must have never had chances to dine out in such a place and had such food before although I'd never let them pay the whole bill. They'd treat me nicely but at the same time they'd make me feel like they're giving me a big favour hence I must be so flattered to hang out with them. I never told them what they had on mind wasn't true or made the fuss out of these shallow behaviors. I'm still taking time to observe just to make sure I don't come up with a wrong conclusion hence to have a bias towards Singaporean guys.
But to be honest, this issue of mine with the Singaporean guys I've known has bothered me. Do many Singaporean guys really think and behave in such a superficial way? What gives?
Please don't ask me why I only got hit on by these types of Singaporean guys. It's not my choice. I really didn't target at them.
Cheers guys.
many but not all.
i dun really care how others perceive me. mainly i measure my worth by my intellect. girls are attracted to me by my sweet mouth and sense of humour ;)).
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Finding the true riches in work
To be truly fulfilled, make happiness the end goal, not 'good' jobs and money
By INVITATION
By LAURENCE LIEN
FOR THE STRAITS TIMESWHEN I switched careers - from the civil service to civil society in 2008 - people close to me were concerned that I was making an irrational and unwise decision.
After all, I was leaving a seemingly glamorous job in the Administrative Service of the Singapore Government with its good pay and prestige.
Exiting obviously was not an easy decision. But I have not looked back since. In fact, I am happier today than four years ago.
The work is personally satisfying as I have free rein to express my interests and creativity. At the same time, I am serving the common good by making a difference in transforming Singapore into a giving society and building civil society.
Yet there is still a stigma attached to working in the non-profit sector. A couple of my young officers have told me how their parents (usually their mothers) keep pressurising them to leave the non-profit sector for "greener pastures" elsewhere.
This raises the question: What is work for? Is it a necessary evil - to survive or to be rich? If you have so much money you don't have to work for the rest of your life, would you work? Does it matter what career we choose, if each paid us the same?
Let me try to answer these questions with three points.
First, work is good when ordered to serve humans, and when humans are the subjects, not instruments.
Many people have conflicting views about work. We tend to denigrate some jobs, particularly the more menial and lowly paid ones.
In such roles, humans are being treated merely as factors of production. The ancient philosopher Aristotle thought no one could be both free and obliged to earn a living; while a more modern one, Bertrand Russell, argued that the road to happiness "lies in an organised diminution of work" .
But even in a menial job, there is dignity in work. Indeed, every job that is not immoral has dignity. Work has intrinsic value and is net a necessary evil. Instead, it can be uplifting and fulfilling.
Through work, humankind not only transforms nature, but also achieves fu1filment and self-realisation as a human being.
No one should look down on any honest job, no matter how menial. Instead, we can adopt a more egalitarian ethos to provide all workers with a fair, living wage, so they are not under the constant stress of inadequate job security.
In Singapore's society, we do value some jobs, especially those that are intellectually stimulating, prestigious and well-paid. In some cases, we prize them too much Work then defines us and becomes our essence. We go to the extreme of placing our working life at the centre of any desire for happiness. Some even compete with their friends to see who works longer hours.
When it comes to work, the most critical questions are not what you do, how hard you work or how much you get paid.
Rather it is: Why do you do what you do?This brings me to the second point. In doing our work, we must move from extrinsic to intrinsic and transcendent motivations. Only then can we be truly happy.
Extrinsic motivations are about satisfying a set of tangible needs, with money considered a universal motivator, and power and recognition included as well. People with intrinsic motivations focus on using their skills and strengths, and engage in tasks for which they learn and enjoy. Their satisfaction comes from the work itself. For persons driven by transcendent motivations, they see that their actions affect others, and hence take those people's needs into account. For them, satisfaction derives from being useful to others.
In Singapore, extrinsic motivations are dominant. Work is often primarily seen for the purpose of making good money, in whichever way we are skilled, so that we may live comfortably, have status in society and provide for the family. Most pay little attention to the intrinsic worth of the work we do, and its value to society.
In our society, we need our workers to be more driven by both transcendent and intrinsic motivations.
What a person is paid is often not commensurate with the value of his or her job to society. A bus driver earns on average $4,700 a month in Australia, but only $1,500 in Singapore. Is the bus driver in Australia doing a job that is three times more worthwhile? A pre-primary teacher in Singapore earns $1,840 a month, while
a foreign exchange broker earns $11,000; is the latter's vocation six times as valuable?I would also argue that employees who are more transcendentally driven are also more values driven. They would care about doing the right thing all the time and for the long term, and are more likely to be loyal and collaborative, to invest in positive change, and to practise social responsibility. They are also more likely to take on important "below-market-rate jobs" like non-profit worker and volunteer.
When workers see their work as more than just a job, they become much more engaged and passionate, creative and enterprising. Singapore ranks poorly in global
surveys on job satisfaction, and employee engagement and loyalty. This augurs pporly for our aim to have a dynamic and productive workforce.While extrinsic motivators are not completely unimportant, we must desist from using them as the mark of all that is worthwhile. Pay, specifically, should not be the presumptive measure of self worth and job worth.
My final point is: We ought to make the happiness of ourselves and others an end goal. Instead, we often get it the wrong way round, as we make "good" jobs and money our end goals instead.
Research tells us that happiness is found in healthy relationships, in loving and being loved; in doing things we are passionate about; in being creative (and
"pro-creative"); and in having fewer wants and being contented and thankful for what we have.Instead, many of us chase jobs for their financial rewards and status-enhancing qualities. We have no work-life balance. We want more and more, and end up less and less satisfied. We suffer burnout, disillusionment and broken relationships
as a result.What should we do then? As we begin a new year, we should start reassessing our priorities and what gives true meaning. We must starting respecting the dignity
of those who work in less-skilled jobs, and give them a fair, living wage.We need to teach our children proper values and motivations, obsess less over their grades, and support them in careers that they are passionate about and that
serve the common good.Then perhaps I would hear more of my staff having their loved ones cheer them on in their chosen profession. And perhaps we will have more willing to serve as ministers too.
The writer is a Nominated Member of Parliament, chief executive of the National Volunteer and Philanthropy Centre, acting chief executive of the Community Foundation of Singapore and chairman of the Lien Foundation. By Invitation features leading writers and thinkers from Singapore and the region.Insight, The Strait Times, Saturday, January 12 2013, Pg D10
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i use a long ruler to measure.
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I've also met some who often brags about this rich friend, that rich friend and many more rich friends. Seems like having rich friends is a way for them to boost their image.
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Originally posted by Miss Melissa:
I've also met some who often brags about this rich friend, that rich friend and many more rich friends. Seems like having rich friends is a way for them to boost their image.
that applies to some but not all... and it happens on both male and females :) -
Originally posted by Life_as_we_know_it:
Hi everyone
I'm not so familiar with Singapore culture and all so just wanted to ask you guys if this thing I've observed is common or just an invalid assumption. I just don't want to stereotype.
So, is it true hat most singaporean guys measure their self worth by their weath, say money, cars, career and such? That said, if a guy has thse things to back it up for him, when it comes to looking for a girlfriend, he would have high expectations and think girls must be all over him?
I came up with such an idea based not only on what I read or heard but also from my own experience.
Back in my country, I got rich guys wanting to be with me (please don't flame, I just want to justify my idea). These guys they would show how wealthy they are but not in a way to impress me or win me over by such things. For example, they drive a car, whether it's an Audi, BMW or just a normal car, they wouldn't make any difference out of it then go overly proud. They'd treat me nicely because they think I deserve being treated like that and respect me for who I am. But here, in Singapore, I found something different. Although I'd live rather a luxurious life back home, I chose to live a modest and simple life in Singapore and never told anyone about my other life in my country cause just found no need to. I think this actually helped open my eyes on one thing that I would probably not get to see if I was to tell about my family background. Some Singaporean guys happened to hit on me, they were extremely proud of what they have. They'd find all ways possible to show of how loaded and sophisticated they are. For example, when they picked me up with their expensive car, they would make it like it's must be the first time I was driven in such a car, or even in a car. When they invited me to a posh restaurant, they would also make it like I must have never had chances to dine out in such a place and had such food before although I'd never let them pay the whole bill. They'd treat me nicely but at the same time they'd make me feel like they're giving me a big favour hence I must be so flattered to hang out with them. I never told them what they had on mind wasn't true or made the fuss out of these shallow behaviors. I'm still taking time to observe just to make sure I don't come up with a wrong conclusion hence to have a bias towards Singaporean guys.
But to be honest, this issue of mine with the Singaporean guys I've known has bothered me. Do many Singaporean guys really think and behave in such a superficial way? What gives?
Please don't ask me why I only got hit on by these types of Singaporean guys. It's not my choice. I really didn't target at them.
Cheers guys.
Sure or not?
Back in my country, its a big deal to drive BMW and Audi because the car duties are so high. Heck even to drive the cheap Toyota Altis, the owners act like they are driving a mercedes.
Self worth based on $$$ is everywhere, not just in singapore, even in the western world. Come on, what country are you from? There is no way men in your country don't care about what car they drive...they probably don't show off as much as the singaporean, but they do. Everybody does that, Australia, Malaysia, Thailand, Philiphinnes, Japan, Cambodia, China, Nigeria, UK, USA, etc. Not unless you are from Bhutan.
But hey, I ride on bicycle. Its a nice mountain bike. You like? You can come out on a date with me.