Why spouses stray
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Wed, 19 Dec 2012
The New PaperWhy spouses stray
by Benita Aw YeongSigns of a cheating spouse, according to divorce lawyer Datuk Mohd Zaidi Zain: Sex and intimacy is an important part of a relationship. A noticeable change or loss of interest in this area points to a problem in your relationship. (Photo:TNP)
His clients get so lonely that they make a move on him. And it's not just the women.
Mr John Vasavan deals with warring couples and unfaithful spouses. His job is to help salvage marriages which are on the rocks.
And he knows a thing or two about why spouses stray, and what to do to avoid being trapped in an illicit affair.
Says the 52-year-old, who has worked as a marriage counsellor for the past two decades: "Sometimes, they stalk us through e-mail, asking to meet up, asking us to come over to their place..."
Happily married for about 20 years himself, he is very cautious about clients who get "touchy" during counselling sessions.
In such cases, he usually makes sure they are properly attired before offering a comforting pat on the back.
He explains: "Some women come for counselling scantily clad. So I make sure to pass them a blanket or jacket before any physical contact happens.
"I also always sit facing the door or window, so that people can see us. You must learn to protect yourself, you know," says the father of three, aged 15 to 19.
Before setting up his own practice a decade ago, Mr Vasavan enrolled for counselling courses and took on cases as a volunteer at the Singapore Planned Parenthood Association.
He went on to pursue a Masters in Counselling at the University of South Australia.
After 20 years of helping couples through tough times, he declares that the number one reason for marriages running into problems is not enough talk.
Wives, for instance, can get so caught up with their kids, they stop communicating properly with their husbands.
And when the children grow up and the women want to reconnect, it may be too late - the husband has already become engrossed in other activities.
But the question remains: Why do people cheat on their spouses?Read the full story here, or click on the thumbnails to find out what are the top signs of a cheating spouse.
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Money no enough, stray? It is SEX not enough laaahhhh!
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lack of love , women stray. Lack of sex, men stray
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because time, goes by, so slowly, and time...can do so much (hokkien)
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I continue for you....
are you still mine ? I need your love .......
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Originally posted by SJS6638:Wed, 19 Dec 2012
The New PaperWhy spouses stray
by Benita Aw YeongHis clients get so lonely that they make a move on him. And it's not just the women.
Mr John Vasavan deals with warring couples and unfaithful spouses. His job is to help salvage marriages which are on the rocks.
And he knows a thing or two about why spouses stray, and what to do to avoid being trapped in an illicit affair.
Says the 52-year-old, who has worked as a marriage counsellor for the past two decades: "Sometimes, they stalk us through e-mail, asking to meet up, asking us to come over to their place..."
Happily married for about 20 years himself, he is very cautious about clients who get "touchy" during counselling sessions.
In such cases, he usually makes sure they are properly attired before offering a comforting pat on the back.
He explains: "Some women come for counselling scantily clad. So I make sure to pass them a blanket or jacket before any physical contact happens.
"I also always sit facing the door or window, so that people can see us. You must learn to protect yourself, you know," says the father of three, aged 15 to 19.
Before setting up his own practice a decade ago, Mr Vasavan enrolled for counselling courses and took on cases as a volunteer at the Singapore Planned Parenthood Association.
He went on to pursue a Masters in Counselling at the University of South Australia.
After 20 years of helping couples through tough times, he declares that the number one reason for marriages running into problems is not enough talk.
Wives, for instance, can get so caught up with their kids, they stop communicating properly with their husbands.
And when the children grow up and the women want to reconnect, it may be too late - the husband has already become engrossed in other activities.
But the question remains: Why do people cheat on their spouses?Read the full story here, or click on the thumbnails to find out what are the top signs of a cheating spouse.
Signs of a cheating spouse, according to divorce lawyer Datuk Mohd Zaidi Zain: Sex and intimacy is an important part of a relationship. A noticeable change or loss of interest in this area points to a problem in your relationship. (Photo:TNP)
all wrong. at the end of the day, it all comes down to lack of respect and self-control. if you have both, you will definitely have ways to fix the problems, initially by having heart to heart talk with each other, like unsatisfactoriness of sex. if not, no way to get out of it. sadly, there are people who enjoy the thrill of committing adultery.
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Life is surreal.
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What they expect in a relationship ? Man... sure, blame it on the moolah and lack of sex. lol.
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Some men stray because of excessive nagging and accusation from wives.
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Some women stray because men have attitude problem and refuse to contribute.
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Originally posted by SJS6638:
Some men stray because of excessive nagging and accusation from wives.
yes. that's why i talked about respect and self control. excessive nagging and accusation are basically lacking respect and losing self-control behaviors.
every men would want to marry a supportive and understanding wife and likewise for girls.
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Originally posted by highlands:
yes. that's why i talked about respect and self control. excessive nagging and accusation are basically lacking respect and losing self-control behaviors.
every men would want to marry a supportive and understanding wife and likewise for girls.
Precisely.
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Originally posted by BadzMaro:
What they expect in a relationship ? Man... sure, blame it on the moolah and lack of sex. lol.
not 100% correct imo.
i'm guilty of being a very highly sexual man with a past. my modest gf's libido is not close to my level but we always talked it out and tried the best way that both of us can be satisfied. if u just look for sex, marry a prostitute or a slut, but u will get bored in the end anyway. marry a modest loving girl, love her, treat her right, when she opens up, you'll be surprised.
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If human beings had respect and self control, there would be no wars and no crime.
We would be Tinky Winky, La La, Dipsy and Po.
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Originally posted by charlize:
If human beings had respect and self control, there would be no wars and no crime.
We would be Tinky Winky, La La, Dipsy and Po.
Lol qft. just wanted to point out the basic reasons behind all.
if it's some years back, i'd avoid or lol at this kind of topic as i was so against committed rs. why would a man of several options have to commit to one girl? that's my question the old days.
now that i learned my lesson hard way, i met my current gf, i changed for the better, i can talk good and bad lol.
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Originally posted by SJS6638:Wed, 19 Dec 2012
The New PaperWhy spouses stray
by
Benita Aw YeongHis clients get so lonely that they make a move on him. And it's not just the women.
Mr John Vasavan deals with warring couples and unfaithful spouses. His job is to help salvage marriages which are on the rocks.
And he knows a thing or two about why spouses stray, and what to do to avoid being trapped in an illicit affair.
Says the 52-year-old, who has worked as a marriage counsellor for the past two decades: "Sometimes, they stalk us through e-mail, asking to meet up, asking us to come over to their place..."
Happily married for about 20 years himself, he is very cautious about clients who get "touchy" during counselling sessions.
In such cases, he usually makes sure they are properly attired before offering a comforting pat on the back.
He explains: "Some women come for counselling scantily clad. So I make sure to pass them a blanket or jacket before any physical contact happens.
"I also always sit facing the door or window, so that people can see us. You must learn to protect yourself, you know," says the father of three, aged 15 to 19.
Before setting up his own practice a decade ago, Mr Vasavan enrolled for counselling courses and took on cases as a volunteer at the Singapore Planned Parenthood Association.
He went on to pursue a Masters in Counselling at the University of South Australia.
After 20 years of helping couples through tough times, he declares that the number one reason for marriages running into problems is not enough talk.
Wives, for instance, can get so caught up with their kids, they stop communicating properly with their husbands.
And when the children grow up and the women want to reconnect, it may be too late - the husband has already become engrossed in other activities.
But the question remains: Why do people cheat on their spouses?Read the full story here, or click on the thumbnails to find out what are the top signs of a cheating spouse.
Signs of a cheating spouse, according to divorce lawyer Datuk Mohd Zaidi Zain: Sex and intimacy is an important part of a relationship. A noticeable change or loss of interest in this area points to a problem in your relationship. (Photo:TNP)
People who can't stay loyal and want to try something new any day better refrain from getting into marriage so don't hurt the other person. No wonder why I'm losing trust in guys in this day and age.
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Originally posted by highlands:
Lol qft. just wanted to point out the basic reasons behind all.
if it's some years back, i'd avoid or lol at this kind of topic as i was so against committed rs. why would a man of several options have to commit to one girl? that's my question the old days.
now that i learned my lesson hard way, i met my current gf, i changed for the better, i can talk good and bad lol.
U seemed so proud of your gf, always talked about her like she has feather wings lol.
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家花�比野花香
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Originally posted by becalm:
U seemed so proud of your gf, always talked about her like she has feather wings lol.
i very am. i'd never trade her for the world :)
sometimes it really takes a very big lesson to realize how important someone to them and how they should live their life.
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becasue most people like polite people, polite tok cock sweet nothing to them only they will be high, so eventually sway.
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Married Women stray because kukuheaded husbands do not know how to make their wives feel sexy and wanted.
There are Women who marry stupid husbands who have the money to provide and then these women will look for men, who behave like men ( don't use money to woo women but show his manliness that he just want sex and can walk off anytime if the girl/woman not interested) and make girls/women feel sexy and wanted.
Kukuheaded guys are guys who think they can only use money to attract women. The truth is girls/women will use these stupid guys/men for Free Food, Free Transport and Free anything but at the end of the day , the same girl/woman will go and spend her money and provide sex to a man, who behave like a man.
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i dunno why man stray but i know why girls stray... i drop my pants they see a gorilla monster of course they buay tahan must stray lah...
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Originally posted by Super.kumantong:
Married Women stray because kukuheaded husbands do not know how to make their wives feel sexy and wanted.
There are Women who marry stupid husbands who have the money to provide and then these women will look for men, who behave like men ( don't use money to woo women but show his manliness that he just want sex and can walk off anytime if the girl/woman not interested) and make girls/women feel sexy and wanted.
Kukuheaded guys are guys who think they can only use money to attract women. The truth is girls/women will use these stupid guys/men for Free Food, Free Transport and Free anything but at the end of the day , the same girl/woman will go and spend her money and provide sex to a man, who behave like a man.
I will eat her out at least tiwice a day
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Originally posted by Uraniumfish:
I will eat her out at least tiwice a day
then u get tired one day and she will stray lol
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Need to outsource the adult needs
