Hello,
I am posting this under "Bar" because it says everything Adult should come here.
I hope readers can offer me different opinions and thought.s
I am a person whom have very little friends.
In fact, the only life-long circle of friends I have are a tight small mix that are usually like to go the sleazy bars and KTVs.
I am very upset because I no longer know what is right and wrong, and I feel that my ties with my friends are strained and I also feel very bullied
They tried to take me to Geylang, where there is this row of what was claimed to be "legal shophouses".
I had no idea. To be frank, I was very suprised to be taken to those shophouses, I really was not expecting it.
They claimed that they told me they were going there to walk around and see, and that I said I was okay with it.
But to be frank, when I said I was okay to walk around Geyland, I thought they meant the general area of Geyland, like the area that is more lively and public.
When I reach there, I was very surprised and refused to go in, while they went in, so I hang outside the area like a sore thumb.
My friends said that I made them feel like it's a waste of time and effort. and that they just wanted me to take a look, nothing more, and that they were quite upset that i behaved that way.
But the thing was, when they first proposed going there, they completely did not specify that they were going to that particular row of shophouses.
On another note, when I refused to go in, they turn black face and said I was not giving them "face".
But what has "face" got to do with it?
Whether I want to enter or not is completely my own personal choice.
In the first place, I did not wanted to go there.
Secondly, they knew I did not wanted to go there but they weren't completely upfront with me and decided to give vague and ambigous answers.
I do feel very deceived and manipulated to visiting that area.
Thirdly, they acted like I was giving them a hrad time by not going in but it is my own choice not to go in.
Now they are claiming I am the one whom is behaving unreasonably.
I am already having a hard time and these people are just adding to my stress.
Can someone please advise, should I just completly sever ties with my friends?
If I really do that, I won't have any more friends.
On another note, if this is not the right place to post this, please let me know.
Thanks!
I suppose my problem is that I am always so afraid of offending others
To be frank, I thought it was quite strange that they could say that I was trying to renege on my promise.
But I did not promise them anything.
It makes me very upset that my friends can tell half-truths to suit themselves
Originally posted by Andylim348:Hello,
I am posting this under "Bar" because it says everything Adult should come here.
I hope readers can offer me different opinions and thought.s
I am a person whom have very little friends.
In fact, the only life-long circle of friends I have are a tight small mix that are usually like to go the sleazy bars and KTVs.
I am very upset because I no longer know what is right and wrong, and I feel that my ties with my friends are strained and I also feel very bullied
They tried to take me to Geylang, where there is this row of what was claimed to be "legal shophouses".
I had no idea. To be frank, I was very suprised to be taken to those shophouses, I really was not expecting it.
They claimed that they told me they were going there to walk around and see, and that I said I was okay with it.
But to be frank, when I said I was okay to walk around Geyland, I thought they meant the general area of Geyland, like the area that is more lively and public.
When I reach there, I was very surprised and refused to go in, while they went in, so I hang outside the area like a sore thumb.
My friends said that I made them feel like it's a waste of time and effort. and that they just wanted me to take a look, nothing more, and that they were quite upset that i behaved that way.
But the thing was, when they first proposed going there, they completely did not specify that they were going to that particular row of shophouses.
On another note, when I refused to go in, they turn black face and said I was not giving them "face".
But what has "face" got to do with it?
Whether I want to enter or not is completely my own personal choice.
In the first place, I did not wanted to go there.
Secondly, they knew I did not wanted to go there but they weren't completely upfront with me and decided to give vague and ambigous answers.
I do feel very deceived and manipulated to visiting that area.
Thirdly, they acted like I was giving them a hrad time by not going in but it is my own choice not to go in.
Now they are claiming I am the one whom is behaving unreasonably.
I am already having a hard time and these people are just adding to my stress.
Can someone please advise, should I just completly sever ties with my friends?
If I really do that, I won't have any more friends.
You've done nothing wrong.
There is no good reason to force yourself to stick with someone you are uncomfortable with. It's unhealthy friendship, if you call them friends.
Don't know/none of my business why you have very few 'friends'. But if it's possible, try some ways to get to know more people who you can get along well with, not those you have to try to please them.
They are not your friends to begin with... Time for a change of social circle!
your friend how old already? wanna fuk chicken still need people to accompany? dont know where at geyland issit?
"You've done nothing wrong.
There is no good reason to force yourself to stick with someone you are uncomfortable with. It's unhealthy friendship, if you call them friends.
Don't know/none of my business why you have very few 'friends'. But if it's possible, try some ways to get to know more people who you can get along well with, not those you have to try to please them."
Dear BeCalm,
Thanks so much for yur advice, I really do appreciate it.
My friends say they hate it when people promise them things then renege on it.
But the thing is I never promised my friend that I will specifically go inside.
They only said go"Geylang" and I said ok, but they never specified exactly which part of Geylang.
I always thought that such matters were personal choices, and I do felt that I did nothing wrong.
As for why I have few friends, well, I've known these guys for a long time and it's hard to just sever long connections
"your friend how old already? wanna fuk chicken still need people to accompany? dont know where at geyland issit?"
Dear troublemaker,
actually, my friends have already gone many and several times.
Their purpose to bring me there is to "show" me around.
I belive they have these idea in their mind to help me.
There is a reason why they want to do this but the truth is, I am not ready for such things and I feel like they are trying to rush me.
xun you you're having. Go widen the circle make new friends. The friends you have now are giving you stress to follow their way if not they will blacklist you. They are of no good. Leave them alone and continue to lead your own life.
I have cut off long time friends. dEpends if you are firm or not. Many of those long time friends are just far too shallow, they love comparing, when I am better than them they get jealous, when I am down they refuse to be understanding but instead add salt to the wound. They love sowing discord to break relationship in our circle of friends. Friends are people who accept you and lend a hand to help when you are in trouble.
Be courageous, let the positive mind of yours lead you.
"I am a person whom have very little friends." - You don't have to stick to any group of friends.
BE A MAN. Start walking Your own path and go out and meet new friends , without being needy. At the end of the day, You will walk alone again, feeling good even when being alone , and also able to mingle with different group of friends for different activities at different time.
When You can walk alone feeling good.. Soon, You will have people wanting to be with You and follow You and You take the lead.
you can choose to ignore them and eventually u will get a new grp of friends.