Is he over her? Or still in love?
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This guy is my good friend.
What does it mean if a man aged 34, was poring into the Facebook profile of his ex daily for over a month? He's stopped since. He'd force himself to stop after obsessing for a month. Then he will be back at it again after 6-7 months of abstainance. What is going on?
She has been married for 4 years now. He's known her since he was in college in 2002, and has loved her since so it's been 11 year now. He says circumstances were between them which did not allow them to be together but from what I understand she developed feelings for him as well.
In 2008, when she told him she was getting married, he says he abruptly disappeared from her life in a dramatic fashion, like a complete disappearance without saying bye. I think he was really crushed. It seems like she did marry the following year and still is married.
I thought that with his disappearing from her life and not speaking to her, he had moved on, he still wondered about her and tried to look her up online in 2010. He confirmed that she had married but from what I knew he couldn't really tear himself away and was in a limbo, exchanging weekly pleasantries with her until mid 2011. I thought he had finally moved on when it stopped, but I found out that he masked his cell number and called her at the start of 2012 to hear her say Hello, and hung up.
I believed that he finally moved on early this year (2012), but I discovered that he had looked at her profile daily all through October and stopped himself only after Halloween. He discovered that she had moved cities with her husband.
But he's stopped.
Is my friend still into that woman, or is he over her and is just curious and wonders about her now and then (which many ex-es do), this I can accept?
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Your husband is it?
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fren?
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Originally posted by Waitingforu:
This guy is my good friend.
What does it mean if a man aged 34, was poring into the Facebook profile of his ex daily for over a month? He's stopped since. He'd force himself to stop after obsessing for a month. Then he will be back at it again after 6-7 months of abstainance. What is going on?
She has been married for 4 years now. He's known her since he was in college in 2002, and has loved her since so it's been 11 year now. He says circumstances were between them which did not allow them to be together but from what I understand she developed feelings for him as well.
In 2008, when she told him she was getting married, he says he abruptly disappeared from her life in a dramatic fashion, like a complete disappearance without saying bye. I think he was really crushed. It seems like she did marry the following year and still is married.
I thought that with his disappearing from her life and not speaking to her, he had moved on, he still wondered about her and tried to look her up online in 2010. He confirmed that she had married but from what I knew he couldn't really tear himself away and was in a limbo, exchanging weekly pleasantries with her until mid 2011. I thought he had finally moved on when it stopped, but I found out that he masked his cell number and called her at the start of 2012 to hear her say Hello, and hung up.
I believed that he finally moved on early this year (2012), but I discovered that he had looked at her profile daily all through October and stopped himself only after Halloween. He discovered that she had moved cities with her husband.
But he's stopped.
Is my friend still into that woman, or is he over her and is just curious and wonders about her now and then (which many ex-es do), this I can accept?
This is call unrequited love lah. Very creepy leh.
For his sake, tell that woman to unfriend him on facebook lah.
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your friend is just weird.... or are u the person in question itself?
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Huh I'm not him lah. I'm a close friend and I am kinda waiting for him to get over her. I don't want to be a spare tire or get involved with him if he's not ready.
If I was him, I won't be asking if he's over her. I would know right?
From what has happened and the timeline, does it sound like he's over her? I don't think it's completely unrequited because she liked him as well. I have no idea why and how it's lasted till now
The woman is not his friend on FB. I have no idea who deleted who or what happened with fb. But I guess they have a complicated and checkered past.
Do you men look at the FB profile every night for over a month for a woman you are over?
Is it possible to still have feelings for somebody for 10 years?
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he probably hasn't gotten over it at all yet.
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PLease do not invest "yourself" with this guy yet. He has not yet gotten over the gal.
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Are you a guy or girl ?
If you are a girl, still ok.
If you are a guy, then you are a bit creepy.
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Originally posted by charlize:
Are you a guy or girl ?
abt to ask too
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Guys won't ask such questions for their friends.
They will just go "fark it, let's go get drunk"
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Dun waste your time and find yourself another MAN.
Unless you want to be like him.
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Originally posted by Waitingforu:
Huh I'm not him lah. I'm a close friend and I am kinda waiting for him to get over her. I don't want to be a spare tire or get involved with him if he's not ready.
If I was him, I won't be asking if he's over her. I would know right?
From what has happened and the timeline, does it sound like he's over her? I don't think it's completely unrequited because she liked him as well. I have no idea why and how it's lasted till now
The woman is not his friend on FB. I have no idea who deleted who or what happened with fb. But I guess they have a complicated and checkered past.
Do you men look at the FB profile every night for over a month for a woman you are over?
Is it possible to still have feelings for somebody for 10 years?
You sure you want a creep like him ? really ?
I mean this guy will stalk someone else's wife. Call her in the middle of the night with a private number and hung up when she says hello... one word " Psychos"
Does her husband knows about him ? He'd be hanging an axe near his door when he finds out.
If he is my ex, I'd immediately cut off contacts with him and wipe my digital footprints off the internet immediately.
Is it possible for someone having sneaky feelings for 10 years.. yes it's possible of cors..but only creeps do that.
Do yourself a favor girl, go find someone "NORMAL".
You think he won't do that to you too ? Get a clue. You'll be his next victim.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
You sure you want a creep like him ? really ?
I mean this guy will stalk someone else's wife. Call her in the middle of the night with a private number and hung up when she says hello... one word " Psychos"
Does her husband knows about him ? He'd be hanging an axe near his door when he finds out.
If he is my ex, I'd immediately cut off contacts with him and wipe my digital footprints off the internet immediately.
Is it possible for someone having sneaky feelings for 10 years.. yes it's possible of cors..but only creeps do that.
Do yourself a favor girl, go find someone "NORMAL".
You think he won't do that to you too ? Get a clue. You'll be his next victim.
Well, he just wanted to hear her voice and he only called once, not say called repeatedly and not at night.
Her husband doesn't know about him. She loved him as well, but fate was against them, according to him. And my friend isn't stalking her. It's just one call and looking at FB photos for 1 month. How can it be considered stalking?
If he'd do that to me, that would be what I want.
What I don't understand is, he cut her off and does not want to talk to her once she got married. How can a man not want to talk to a woman he loves, but still want to check on her and hear her voice every 6 months? Seems to me its a contradiction. That's why initially I thought he's over her.
Maybe men can't be JUST friends with a person they love.
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oh man... u seriously feels that it is not stalking?
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Love makes you do strange things.
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and see strange things too
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Originally posted by [imdestinyz]:
oh man... u seriously feels that it is not stalking?
No leh. To me stalking must go to where the woman is physically and wait.
What he's doing where got stalking at all leh? I think he's very romantic. Wondering if he's ready for a relationship with somebody else or still obsessed with his college schoolmate. He liked her all thru those years as she went from one relationship to another. He was always there. Talking to her every night.
Even after he knew she was married, he told his guy friend he still has not got iver her. At that time they had not had contact for almost 2 years. From the time they met as young kids in university overseas till they aged and went to the workforce, they grew up together, maybe thats why he finds it diffcult to get over? When he was looking at her FB daily, she changed her status back to single for 3 weeks but changed it back later. He told me about it and it got his hopes up again. Sounds like their marriage is on the rocks and is shaky. Don't tell me he's waiting for her to get a divorce? This is insane.
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there's something called online stalking...
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It's not that he's not making any effort to stop. He has, and I should give him credit for that.
I want to know if he will ever move on so I won't waste my time.
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if he stops and stops permanently it is ok... but he stops and starts and stop and starts... you think thats worthwhile holding on to?
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anyway, why dont you ask him that directly? whether he intends to cut off with this lady unless u can tolerate him doing this when he is together with u.
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Have asked him. He says he wants to cut her off. But based on his track record so far, I don't think he's done very well. That's why I'm soliciting for opinion of others.
All my friends say he is bad news and the whole thing with his baggage and the girl he likes for so long scream bad news and they say he would drop whoever he is withs like a potato once the woman is single again.
Ya think it's true?
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totally true...
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Originally posted by Waitingforu:
Have asked him. He says he wants to cut her off. But based on his track record so far, I don't think he's done very well. That's why I'm soliciting for opinion of others.
All my friends say he is bad news and the whole thing with his baggage and the girl he likes for so long scream bad news and they say he would drop whoever he is withs like a potato once the woman is single again.
Ya think it's true?
"he would drop whoever he is withs like a potato once the woman is single again. "
Seen that happened a few times already.
Saddest part is , he will not treat you better than how he will treat her.
You'll always be second choice.