relieving stress and relieving emotions are different arh... but i believe you can handle larh... probably it is the bugs that are harder to handle?
I talked to Jim...the best way I could. His responses weren't positive and then he asked if we could stop seeing each other for a while so that he will have time to think, of course I expected this so I was fine. But idk, Jim has a big ego that makes it harder for us to communicate sometimes. Oh men, they always blame us women for being complicated creatures, I wonder if any of you guys are actually aware that you guys are pretty complicated too? Sigh!!!!!
It is probably his ego that's making the whole issue seem complicated to you.. If fact the explanation for his actions are rather easy mah
I understood his reaction. I was prepared. But still, he is hard to understand sometimes.
Today he texted me morning and lunch time asking me what im doing and nice day stuff as usual, then evening, he texted "is there anything you still keep to yourself?". It meant he doesn't trust me completely, right?
Originally posted by becalm:I understood his reaction. I was prepared. But still, he is hard to understand sometimes.
Today he texted me morning and lunch time asking me what im doing and nice day stuff as usual, then evening, he texted "is there anything you still keep to yourself?". It meant he doesn't trust me completely, right?
i do not think of it as that he isn't trusting you completely. It depends alot on how you've told him about your issue. I think he is trying to come to terms with what you've told him and also trying to come to a decision. Instead of seeing it as him not trusting u completely, i see it as him seeking confirmation. He has to make a decision based on what he thinks and what you've told him, that sentence is more like just to check if you missed out on anything that you think you need to tell him. Haven't we all came across situations where we are about to make a decision then suddenly someone told us "some additional information" or "something new" that changed our decision making?
Good luck to you anyway! Understanding man is just as hard as man trying to understand women yea?
I'm taking time to think too. Don't want to give him any pressure. Should I ask him not to contact each other for a little while? It'll be better if I have some "me" time and perhaps for him too.
What is it you are trying so hard to understand about Jim ? His big ego ? This has NOTHING to do with a man's ego. It's all about you being a self-absorbed, emotionally insecure woman.
And of cors he shouldn't trust you, you are coming across as a very FLAKY person.
Seriously, you weren't even honest with him from the beginning. You were never emotionally available since your ex. Now he is doubting your sincerity. Can you blame him ? no.
He should be asking himself if you are stringing him along for the ride. In fact, it seems you are using him to inflate your beat up ego. ( Yes women hav egos too, and ours can be much BIGGER than a male ego ). That's why many women need constant validation from men. ( mirror mirror on the wall)
Your ego wants him to come chasing your skirt even after you told him you werent ready.. you still think about an ex... you are not sure.. you need space.. you need to find your feelings etc etc...all the lame excuses for you to just enjoy the cake and not have to bake it... yes ?
If that guy has some self- respect.. he'd just dump you and seek fishes elsewhere.
Sure, you think that after what you've told him.. and if he still comes after you anyway.. he must REALLY wants to be with you right ? Right..feels good isn't it ?
you must think you are THAT worth it. ( self-absorbed)
..actually it just means he has low self-esteem. There.. that's probably the reason why you keep ending up with men who are too ego maniac to love you back.
Originally posted by becalm:I'm taking time to think too. Don't want to give him any pressure. Should I ask him not to contact each other for a little while? It'll be better if I have some "me" time and perhaps for him too.
You giving him pressure ?.. LOL.. girl you have no idea what you are gonna lose.
When the next chick becomes available to him, you'd be history. Maybe he wouldn't even remember your name few years from now... when he is enjoying relationship bliss with another woman.
Sure, take your "me" time.. and take it SLOOOooowww.... after all.. there's only one woman on the planet and thats you.
People do tend to dwell in the past and forget to live for future. Learn to let go and life will be so much easier.
All the best to TS in whatever decision you take.
Originally posted by jojobeach:What is it you are trying so hard to understand about Jim ? His big ego ? This has NOTHING to do with a man's ego. It's all about you being a self-absorbed, emotionally insecure woman.
And of cors he shouldn't trust you, you are coming across as a very FLAKY person.
Seriously, you weren't even honest with him from the beginning. You were never emotionally available since your ex. Now he is doubting your sincerity. Can you blame him ? no.
He should be asking himself if you are stringing him along for the ride. In fact, it seems you are using him to inflate your beat up ego. ( Yes women hav egos too, and ours can be much BIGGER than a male ego ). That's why many women need constant validation from men. ( mirror mirror on the wall)
Your ego wants him to come chasing your skirt even after you told him you werent ready.. you still think about an ex... you are not sure.. you need space.. you need to find your feelings etc etc...all the lame excuses for you to just enjoy the cake and not have to bake it... yes ?
If that guy has some self- respect.. he'd just dump you and seek fishes elsewhere.
Sure, you think that after what you've told him.. and if he still comes after you anyway.. he must REALLY wants to be with you right ? Right..feels good isn't it ?
you must think you are THAT worth it. ( self-absorbed)
..actually it just means he has low self-esteem. There.. that's probably the reason why you keep ending up with men who are too ego maniac to love you back.
LOL, did you even read my post properly? I never agreed to go out on dates with him my girl. I like him but I know what my problem so I've hesitated. We are not even close enough for me to tell him about my ex but it's because I wanted him to know why I rejected him so many times ok? so what was that u talking about honesty, sincerity and ego? Don't judge too soon girl.
I'm not going to give a long list to tell you how big his ego is because at the end of the day, it's me liking him regardless of what I see in him anyway. The incident with him that similarly happened between me and my ex before like I mentioned in the post was when he proved his oversized ego big time. But I did compromise. Now I am just trying to figure out how to handle things since it's me who'd bend backward and compromise but he never, anytime we had some problems.
Originally posted by Mid9Sun:People do tend to dwell in the past and forget to live for future. Learn to let go and life will be so much easier.
All the best to TS in whatever decision you take.
yes I know but there is reason people say it's better said than done.
Thank you for the wishes :)
Originally posted by becalm:LOL, did you even read my post properly? I never agreed to go out on dates with him my girl. I like him but I know what my problem so I've hesitated. We are not even close enough for me to tell him about my ex but it's because I wanted him to know why I rejected him so many times ok? so what was that u talking about honesty, sincerity and ego? Don't judge too soon girl.
I'm not going to give a long list to tell you how big his ego is because at the end of the day, it's me liking him regardless of what I see in him anyway. The incident with him that similarly happened between me and my ex before like I mentioned in the post was when he proved his oversized ego big time. But I did compromise. Now I am just trying to figure out how to handle things since it's me who'd bend backward and compromise but he never, anytime we had some problems.
Let me summarise ok... so you still not ready for new relationship.
You met this guy , you kinda like him... then you don't like him because he got ego issue.
Then you bend over backwards for him and you compromise etc etc.. and you still havn't go out on a date with Jim.
OK.. then here comes the real motive... You need to know HOW to reject Jim without hurting him. This should be your SuBject on this thread. Next time just go straight to the POINT.
Well, here's the problem . Unless you are an excellent LIAR.. it's not likely you can accomplish NOT hurting his feelings when you reject him. EVERY REJECTION is HURTFUL... get immune to that idea.
Rule number 1 : MEN are NOT stupid.
Rule number 2 : They are NOT as dumb as you credit them for.
If you truly not want to hurt his feelings.. there is only ONE method of rejection.
CLAIM YOU ARE A LESBIAN. This is the only ONE rejection men cannot argue with you about. Nor can they try to persuade you out of.
Otherwise, you really need to get over this " I don't want him, but I don't wanna hurt him " bull crap. cus we've all been down this road before... the road leads to NOwhere.
Just be honest and tell him you are unavailable.. and CUT OFF. Stop pretending you worry about his feelings.. because you really don't give a shit deep inside.
He will first go through a withdrawal , or he will find himself another chick. Life is that simple for a guy.
Unless you plan to wear a nanny underwear on the outside everyday.. it's likely you will need to reject MANY more advances until the day you get married.. then it will be your husband's turn to reject other women.
Originally posted by jojobeach:
CLAIM YOU ARE A LESBIAN. This is the only ONE rejection men cannot argue with you about. Nor can they try to persuade you out of.
U sure? This, can be the most hurtful rejection.
Originally posted by jojobeach:Rule number 1 : MEN are NOT stupid.
Rule number 2 : They are NOT as dumb as you credit them for.
OK, retort: some are. Don't tell me u never had that thought in mind.
Originally posted by jojobeach:Stop pretending you worry about his feelings.. because you really don't give a shit deep inside.
OK. I'll stop pretending and going to be real by giving some sh**.
Originally posted by jojobeach:Just be honest and tell him you are unavailable.. and CUT OFF.
OK. so girls who reject a guy with an honest reason then don't CUT OFF are bitches? liar? stupid? To prove you are a real woman, you need to cut off all conctacts, igrnore the guy etc after you reject him? Cool.
Originally posted by jojobeach:
Let me summarise ok... so you still not ready for new relationship.
You met this guy , you kinda like him... then you don't like him because he got ego issue.
Then you bend over backwards for him and you compromise etc etc.. and you still havn't go out on a date with Jim.
OK.. then here comes the real motive... You need to know HOW to reject Jim without hurting him. This should be your SuBject on this thread. Next time just go straight to the POINT.
Well, here's the problem . Unless you are an excellent LIAR.. it's not likely you can accomplish NOT hurting his feelings when you reject him. EVERY REJECTION is HURTFUL... get immune to that idea.
Rule number 1 : MEN are NOT stupid.
Rule number 2 : They are NOT as dumb as you credit them for.
If you truly not want to hurt his feelings.. there is only ONE method of rejection.
CLAIM YOU ARE A LESBIAN. This is the only ONE rejection men cannot argue with you about. Nor can they try to persuade you out of.
Otherwise, you really need to get over this " I don't want him, but I don't wanna hurt him " bull crap. cus we've all been down this road before... the road leads to NOwhere.
Just be honest and tell him you are unavailable.. and CUT OFF. Stop pretending you worry about his feelings.. because you really don't give a shit deep inside.
He will first go through a withdrawal , or he will find himself another chick. Life is that simple for a guy.
Unless you plan to wear a nanny underwear on the outside everyday.. it's likely you will need to reject MANY more advances until the day you get married.. then it will be your husband's turn to reject other women.
You are good at reading, not bad at analyzing (on your very own assumption) but not good at giving an insight, into this, specifically.
i sense the heat!
Trust me, there was none from my side. It was fun reading her posts ;)
Because talk is cheap cheap:)
Please lah. You thnk you are goddess of mercy issit.
You don't want him, then just be honest lah.
You think you are the only girl to reject him ? You are girl #208.
guys are used to rejection unless he is still a virgin. Is he ?
Originally posted by [imdestinyz]:i sense the heat!
Too heaty go drink liang teh.
still mei wan mei liao, OMFG!
Originally posted by becalm:You are good at reading, not bad at analyzing (on your very own assumption) but not good at giving an insight, into this, specifically.
Of cors what. Who can read your mind ?
Next time don't loh loh soh soh. Get straight to the point , can?
until now I still don't know what you mean by you bend over backwards for him..n you have to give in... What.. U mean on the bed ? I also confused leh.
Or course this and that.
I'm also confused leh. If not and if can make things clear then never wasted time asking for opinions ok?
If u want to help but confused then ask more to give appropriate advice.
If don't want then don't give a damn. don't flame just by reading it your own way can also?
I don't want to tell everyone my bed time stories ok. People don't need to tell u everything to seek advice, if they need to then no forums can survive, they sink deep in all the sh*** already ah.