Confused, frustrated and lonely... & A levels are coming...
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I'm an 18 year old taking my As this year. Up till now I don't really have problems in my life, right till now.
Almost all my friends are attached. In my 2 years I've chased 4 girls without luck. I'm not a flirt, perhaps it's my defense mechanism, to move on quickly after I get rejected. I just feel so lonely that I'm forever alone. Often I wonder if it's because I'm short, or I'm ugly, or what. To be honest I'm not short, I'm perhaps a little below average. And I don't think I'm ugly, but then I can't get a girlfriend, so maybe I AM ugly. I don't know. (I'm not posting my picture)
Recently there was this girl. Last week (I ended school at 12 and had something at 4 so I wanted to study in between) I texted her if she was studying (I know she studies in school) and she said yes, so I went to join her. It was productive, we chatted a bit, but not to the extent that we couldn't concentrate on work.
Yesterday (Sunday) we had a school event including her and I. She asked me to eat dinner with her. Maybe I'm thinking too much, but from this I'm thinking she doesn't HATE me, right? I mean why would you ask somebody you dislike for dinner? So all I'm saying is it's a reasonable guess that she at least does not dislike me.
Anyway we didn't eat dinner that day, because I had something cropped up the last minute.
So anyway I asked to study with her again (because I studied with her once and it was productive for both of us + I was under the impression she at least likes me) and she said she preferred to study alone. Note that when I studied with her she was studying with a friend, so I'm not sure if her friend joined at the last minute (like me) or if she was just blowing me off with an excuse.
Today I went to study and saw her and joined her. There was a girl there (a different one). When the girl left she said bye to her. So I don't know if they were studying together or not. (She is really sociable and has lots of friends so maybe the girl could have just joined like me, I don't know).
So 1) I'm really confused: If she likes me enough to ask me to join her for dinner, why won't she say yes to studying with me? I'm not even asking her out on a date! I just wanted to study together. And if she's not comfortable around me, why the f*ck would she ask me for dinner?
2) I'm frustrated. My head is in a mess. My mind is f*cked up. What's wrong with me? Is it my character, my personality, or physically I'm just defective? Why can't I find a girlfriend? Am I that bad a catch? In what areas exactly am I not on par with my friends?
3) I'm so lonely. Right now I don't even want a girlfriend! I just want a female companion, a friend. A person to study with.
What's wrong with me?
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You shouldnt let affairs of the heart affect your studies. Your love and marriage can wait but your exams cannot wait and are around the corner, you have to grab the opportunity now to study as much as you can. You do not need to study together with girls, you can do it with male friends or alone. Stay detached. You can start to chase after your gf after you complete your exams, be discipline.
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failed 4 times? maybe your lucky no. is 5?
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Originally posted by Olljwdkq:
I'm an 18 year old taking my As this year. Up till now I don't really have problems in my life, right till now.
Almost all my friends are attached. In my 2 years I've chased 4 girls without luck. I'm not a flirt, perhaps it's my defense mechanism, to move on quickly after I get rejected. I just feel so lonely that I'm forever alone. Often I wonder if it's because I'm short, or I'm ugly, or what. To be honest I'm not short, I'm perhaps a little below average. And I don't think I'm ugly, but then I can't get a girlfriend, so maybe I AM ugly. I don't know. (I'm not posting my picture)
Recently there was this girl. Last week (I ended school at 12 and had something at 4 so I wanted to study in between) I texted her if she was studying (I know she studies in school) and she said yes, so I went to join her. It was productive, we chatted a bit, but not to the extent that we couldn't concentrate on work.
Yesterday (Sunday) we had a school event including her and I. She asked me to eat dinner with her. Maybe I'm thinking too much, but from this I'm thinking she doesn't HATE me, right? I mean why would you ask somebody you dislike for dinner? So all I'm saying is it's a reasonable guess that she at least does not dislike me.
Anyway we didn't eat dinner that day, because I had something cropped up the last minute.
So anyway I asked to study with her again (because I studied with her once and it was productive for both of us + I was under the impression she at least likes me) and she said she preferred to study alone. Note that when I studied with her she was studying with a friend, so I'm not sure if her friend joined at the last minute (like me) or if she was just blowing me off with an excuse.
Today I went to study and saw her and joined her. There was a girl there (a different one). When the girl left she said bye to her. So I don't know if they were studying together or not. (She is really sociable and has lots of friends so maybe the girl could have just joined like me, I don't know).
So 1) I'm really confused: If she likes me enough to ask me to join her for dinner, why won't she say yes to studying with me? I'm not even asking her out on a date! I just wanted to study together. And if she's not comfortable around me, why the f*ck would she ask me for dinner?
2) I'm frustrated. My head is in a mess. My mind is f*cked up. What's wrong with me? Is it my character, my personality, or physically I'm just defective? Why can't I find a girlfriend? Am I that bad a catch? In what areas exactly am I not on par with my friends?
3) I'm so lonely. Right now I don't even want a girlfriend! I just want a female companion, a friend. A person to study with.
What's wrong with me?
Nothing is wrong, u are too desperate for a vagina. Thats kinda creepy.
What's wrong with hanging out And studying with guy friends ?
U are not a bad catch, you are just too much a desperado, Girls don't like that.
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i think u oso luan leh......
so u want to study? or u want a study companion? or u want a gf?
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study first la...
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Study cannot wait but girlfriend can wait... focus on studies first. (Just like what music said).
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u got mental problem isit??
u read too much into things. Even u got a gf u will break off becos of ur mentality
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Originally posted by Olljwdkq:
I'm an 18 year old taking my As this year. Up till now I don't really have problems in my life, right till now.
Almost all my friends are attached. In my 2 years I've chased 4 girls without luck. I'm not a flirt, perhaps it's my defense mechanism, to move on quickly after I get rejected. I just feel so lonely that I'm forever alone. Often I wonder if it's because I'm short, or I'm ugly, or what. To be honest I'm not short, I'm perhaps a little below average. And I don't think I'm ugly, but then I can't get a girlfriend, so maybe I AM ugly. I don't know. (I'm not posting my picture)
Recently there was this girl. Last week (I ended school at 12 and had something at 4 so I wanted to study in between) I texted her if she was studying (I know she studies in school) and she said yes, so I went to join her. It was productive, we chatted a bit, but not to the extent that we couldn't concentrate on work.
Yesterday (Sunday) we had a school event including her and I. She asked me to eat dinner with her. Maybe I'm thinking too much, but from this I'm thinking she doesn't HATE me, right? I mean why would you ask somebody you dislike for dinner? So all I'm saying is it's a reasonable guess that she at least does not dislike me.
Anyway we didn't eat dinner that day, because I had something cropped up the last minute.
So anyway I asked to study with her again (because I studied with her once and it was productive for both of us + I was under the impression she at least likes me) and she said she preferred to study alone. Note that when I studied with her she was studying with a friend, so I'm not sure if her friend joined at the last minute (like me) or if she was just blowing me off with an excuse.
Today I went to study and saw her and joined her. There was a girl there (a different one). When the girl left she said bye to her. So I don't know if they were studying together or not. (She is really sociable and has lots of friends so maybe the girl could have just joined like me, I don't know).
So 1) I'm really confused: If she likes me enough to ask me to join her for dinner, why won't she say yes to studying with me? I'm not even asking her out on a date! I just wanted to study together. And if she's not comfortable around me, why the f*ck would she ask me for dinner?
2) I'm frustrated. My head is in a mess. My mind is f*cked up. What's wrong with me? Is it my character, my personality, or physically I'm just defective? Why can't I find a girlfriend? Am I that bad a catch? In what areas exactly am I not on par with my friends?
3) I'm so lonely. Right now I don't even want a girlfriend! I just want a female companion, a friend. A person to study with.
What's wrong with me?
Too much analysis causes paralysis. You probably felt the need to validate your own self worth by believing that for as long as you could hang out with at least one girl, it would somehow raise your esteem by a notch. This is normal and natural development for people of your age; in which our identity is pretty much tied to the kind of association and friends we hang out with.
The fear of loneliness is one of the most common reasons why people desire a 'Boy-Girl' form of relationship. But it's not just about being attached per se; the fact is that our love and belonging needs are not adequately being met. Hence we always feel the void to fill them with something and our logical mind perceived that as BGR. However, it is a vicious cycle because every rejection would naturally cause you to distort, withdraw or reinforce your defensive mechanism.
In reality, what you are probably missing in life is not merely BGR; in fact, it's likely that you don't really share very meaningful relationship with people - both boys and girls (immediate family members not included). And meaningful does not mean romantic.
Ultimately, we are all social creatures - the need to feel connected to another person is a real need. Other than studying, you might want to figure out what you usually do during your free time and how to expand your social circle beyond that of just academic activities. Focusing on interest and activities would greatly help to defray the prospect of loneliness, have fun and improve our social capital.
Cheers
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Asian women are conservative bitches. In the USA, the universities are lively, they get drunk, do drugs and have sex. Here, gosh only the high rollers who are rich get the chicks. Try going to a mall or cinema, you'll find the stupid women sit like two paces from you. I don't get this kind of treatment when I sit next to girls in Australia. In fact, I can even hit off with a girl in australia and get a one night stand.
First things first. Get your priorities right. Focus on your studies. When you do well, get good grades, get good jobs, the chicks will come to you. Asian chicks (no thanks to their stupidity) digs smart and successful asian men.
Next, don't confuse yourself. See her as a friend. If she ask you out for dinner, then just go...but don't be fooled, its not a date, she must likely ask you to join her and her bunch of friends...probably her "boyfriend" is there too. Its one of those gimmicks these sly asian girls use to indirectly reveal their relationship status. Then again, i could be wrong...
Also, in any case, asking a girl to a one-to-one study is regarded as an attempt to woo her. Or you can call it a date. Asian girls are damn sensitive. They perceive every web of your invitation with suspicion. You are very easily affected by her invitation, this reflects your (sorry to say) immaturity in handling your emotions, your lack of knowledge, experience and intimation or communication/understanding with the opposite sex. First, get a hold on yourself, then be thickskin.
Look at it on the bright side, you are 18, you are still young...and at least you have some awareness that you want to settle down. That is good. Work on it.
Nobody say this is ever easy. Remember the stupid story about the spider that fell 7 times before able to make the full web? I know of a friend of mine, who applied for 40 jobs, went for 15 interviews before getting the job he wants. Trial and error, make you learn. Of course, don't use the same stupid tactic to woo girls when you know its bound to fail. So after fail - you improvise. Of course I am not telling you to be a desperado, going here and there to woo girls. Just be yourself - ,make friends and be nice. You are 18 you are smart, use your brains.
If all else fails, when you go to work, hey, there's always dating agency to fall on. Or you can hire some vietnamese brides.
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Originally posted by speakoutfor:
Asian women are conservative bitches. In the USA, the universities are lively, they get drunk, do drugs and have sex. Here, gosh only the high rollers who are rich get the chicks. Try going to a mall or cinema, you'll find the stupid women sit like two paces from you. I don't get this kind of treatment when I sit next to girls in Australia. In fact, I can even hit off with a girl in australia and get a one night stand.
First things first. Get your priorities right. Focus on your studies. When you do well, get good grades, get good jobs, the chicks will come to you. Asian chicks (no thanks to their stupidity) digs smart and successful asian men.
Next, don't confuse yourself. See her as a friend. If she ask you out for dinner, then just go...but don't be fooled, its not a date, she must likely ask you to join her and her bunch of friends...probably her "boyfriend" is there too. Its one of those gimmicks these sly asian girls use to indirectly reveal their relationship status. Then again, i could be wrong...
Also, in any case, asking a girl to a one-to-one study is regarded as an attempt to woo her. Or you can call it a date. Asian girls are damn sensitive. They perceive every web of your invitation with suspicion. You are very easily affected by her invitation, this reflects your (sorry to say) immaturity in handling your emotions, your lack of knowledge, experience and intimation or communication/understanding with the opposite sex. First, get a hold on yourself, then be thickskin.
Look at it on the bright side, you are 18, you are still young...and at least you have some awareness that you want to settle down. That is good. Work on it.
Nobody say this is ever easy. Remember the stupid story about the spider that fell 7 times before able to make the full web? I know of a friend of mine, who applied for 40 jobs, went for 15 interviews before getting the job he wants. Trial and error, make you learn. Of course, don't use the same stupid tactic to woo girls when you know its bound to fail. So after fail - you improvise. Of course I am not telling you to be a desperado, going here and there to woo girls. Just be yourself - ,make friends and be nice. You are 18 you are smart, use your brains.
If all else fails, when you go to work, hey, there's always dating agency to fall on. Or you can hire some vietnamese brides.
are you frustrated because you cannot get any free sex till now? *meow meow* -
Originally posted by MIMI the Garfield cat:
are you frustrated because you cannot get any free sex till now? *meow meow*No. I have a lot of free sex. I am already attached. But took a lot of afford to get hitched.
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Originally posted by speakoutfor:
No. I have a lot of free sex. I am already attached. But took a lot of afford to get hitched.
I know u like to DIY sex, free mah -
Originally posted by MIMI the Garfield cat:
...Asian women are conservative bitches. In the USA, the universities are lively, they get drunk, do drugs and ...) immaturity in handling your emotions, your lack of knowledge, experience and intimation or communication/understanding with the opposite ...
someone hacked into my account, i never post this -
Its ok, i got hacked till my head nearly roll.
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Originally posted by angel7030:
Its ok, i got hacked till my head nearly roll.
yours are 'heads'. only male like me got a 'head', oh well mayb i should have 2 one bigger one one smaller one, while you should have 3, 2 smaller ones one bigger one -
Woei!, ah neh, we also got other heads ok.