Just When I thought... (I'm.. Tired.)

• Ockz

  29 Sep 12, 22:54

  Just when I thought I found the girl of my dreams. (she rejected me)

  Just when I thought I finally decided what to for my life. (second thoughts)

  Just when I thought I found the perfect solution to improving my life. (feel so lonely & empty)

  Just when I thought working hard consistently will eventually be rewarded. (lost it all when i was sick for a few days)

  Just when I thought being nice is the way to go. (when girls just prefer assholes)

  Just when I thought I could be happy being single. (couples everywhere, everywhere around me, except me)

  Just when I thought I would fight no matter what appears. (felt real tired after initial fight)

  Just when I thought I could kick away my wank addiction into something controllable. (lost my motivation, getting back into the scene)

  Just when I thought busying myself everyday would take away the emptiness. (made me even more emptier)

  Just when I thought I will finally be happy. (I am now officially depressed.)

  --------

  All my life, i never understood how people managed to live on without dreams and goals, but yet happy and contented. I always thought that, by doing more things, then simply laying around to talk cock sing song play mahjong, will result in a more satisfying lifestyle.

  I always thought that finally i'm living my dream, I'll be a happy person, but that happiness was only for one person, me alone. My mindset for what I really want in life is breaking into pieces. I want to break down and cry, but that's self pity. I want to move on in life, but it's never easy. I want to become a strong person, but I've always been weak. I want so many things, but it's never something that is originally me.

  I always wanted a different lifestyle. I wanted to feel significant. I wanted to feel like an achiever. I wanted everything possible. I wanted to get famous. I wanted to be a super attractive person. I wanted everyone to be happy. I wanted so many things that are idealistic.

  I never love the real world. I hate how my friends, whom advised me to settle into reality, make money, cut out my dreams, and settle down with a nice girl. I hate people who snitches on others, are like "Snakes". but yet, i still have to hang out with them.

  Finally, I hate myself for not being myself. I hate myself not being able to be 100% honest with others about my true thoughts. I hate being the neutral, nice guy. I really, really, hate it. I want to be an asshole. I tried really hard. To make snide remarks at "weak" people, diss girls instead of respecting them, did everything a bad boy did, but I felt that wasn't who I am. Almost crossed the line with a girl, backed out.

  ... Just when I thought my life was perfect.

  I'm... Just... Really Tired.

• speakoutfor

  29 Sep 12, 23:31

  You thought thought thought...

  But you never thought of the following:

  1) Everybody is struggling in life just like you

  2) Your friends who cut out your dream, making money - only reveal their good side. Whatever bad things happen to them in secrecy, they don't reveal to you.

  3) Everybody wants to be super attractive person but even the hollywood stars and models have their own struggle/problem with maintenance, low self esteem, drugs and super self-conscious that public won't accept them.

  4) Not just you, a lot of people get rejected at their first love. It takes a lot of effort and many many dates and tries before you succeed.

  5) You have to take baby steps to achieving what you want in life. Like you want to do 40 push ups in 3 months time. Not ridiculous dreams like, you want to drive a bentley in 3 years time. So start lowering the standard of your goals to achievable level then slowly baby step by baby step and when you achieve them, start to stretch your goals higher a bit. Make sure it is realistic.

   Goals are like exercise. You cannot expect to run marathon without training and working towards that. You have to run 5km. Then stretch it to 10km. Then increase to 20km. So on and so forth. It is painstaking. Yes.

  But China did not build the great wall in 10 days. They may have taken 10 generations to build it !

  Famous people like Steve Jobs had to go through numerous failures before he achieve what he was today. Steve Jobs was sack from Apple before, ya know? Steve jobs had to work 18 to 20 hours a day, nursing a pancreatic cancer effects to get to whre he is. Ya know?

  So stop whinning like an old lady and start thinking what you really want  in life (realistically). Work towards it.

• Deana

  30 Sep 12, 09:13

  Originally posted by Ockz:

  Just when I thought I found the girl of my dreams. (she rejected me)

  Just when I thought I finally decided what to for my life. (second thoughts)

  Just when I thought I found the perfect solution to improving my life. (feel so lonely & empty)

  Just when I thought working hard consistently will eventually be rewarded. (lost it all when i was sick for a few days)

  Just when I thought being nice is the way to go. (when girls just prefer assholes)

  Just when I thought I could be happy being single. (couples everywhere, everywhere around me, except me)

  Just when I thought I would fight no matter what appears. (felt real tired after initial fight)

  Just when I thought I could kick away my wank addiction into something controllable. (lost my motivation, getting back into the scene)

  Just when I thought busying myself everyday would take away the emptiness. (made me even more emptier)

  Just when I thought I will finally be happy. (I am now officially depressed.)

  --------

  All my life, i never understood how people managed to live on without dreams and goals, but yet happy and contented. I always thought that, by doing more things, then simply laying around to talk cock sing song play mahjong, will result in a more satisfying lifestyle.

  I always thought that finally i'm living my dream, I'll be a happy person, but that happiness was only for one person, me alone. My mindset for what I really want in life is breaking into pieces. I want to break down and cry, but that's self pity. I want to move on in life, but it's never easy. I want to become a strong person, but I've always been weak. I want so many things, but it's never something that is originally me.

  I always wanted a different lifestyle. I wanted to feel significant. I wanted to feel like an achiever. I wanted everything possible. I wanted to get famous. I wanted to be a super attractive person. I wanted everyone to be happy. I wanted so many things that are idealistic.

  I never love the real world. I hate how my friends, whom advised me to settle into reality, make money, cut out my dreams, and settle down with a nice girl. I hate people who snitches on others, are like "Snakes". but yet, i still have to hang out with them.

  Finally, I hate myself for not being myself. I hate myself not being able to be 100% honest with others about my true thoughts. I hate being the neutral, nice guy. I really, really, hate it. I want to be an asshole. I tried really hard. To make snide remarks at "weak" people, diss girls instead of respecting them, did everything a bad boy did, but I felt that wasn't who I am. Almost crossed the line with a girl, backed out.

  ... Just when I thought my life was perfect.

  I'm... Just... Really Tired.

  
  please go & help the needy, yeah. SG future count on all of you who are young, energetic, educated & very free. Where do you stay? Go to your local community Centre & ask. our powerful mind control our thinking/action, right? think positive. We are always bigger than our problem. We are winner.
• MIMI the Garfield cat

  30 Sep 12, 09:19

  Dont be a pussy....yee yee
• lce

  30 Sep 12, 11:43

  assumption is the mother of all failures

  dun think , just do it

• BotaHead

  3 Oct 12, 09:39

  u thought too much already lah, lol

  u very free ah, so free go find something fun to do instead of thought here and thought there lah

  or go sit one side and relax your mind, dont let it run wild and u'll be ok

• Gorengpisang123

  14 Oct 12, 22:32

  Bad things happen from time to time. Sometimes it is time to suck it up and work harder. At least things can't get worse if things can get worse then you are not that bad yet?

• zulkifli mahmood

  14 Oct 12, 23:17

  THE AWAKENING A time comes in your life when you finally get it ... when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks & somewhere the voice inside your head cries out "ENOUGH!" Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening. You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety, and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that you are neither Prince Charming nor Cinderella. And that, in the real world, there aren't always fairy-tale endings (or beginnings, for that matter). And that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you ... and in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance. You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate, or approve of who or what you are ... and that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself ... and in the process, a sense of new-found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say, and that not everyone will always be there for you, and that it's not always about you. So you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself ... and in the process, a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and overlook their shortcomings and human frailties ... and in the process, a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself and the world around you is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you should wear, what you should do for a living, how much money you should make, what you should drive, how and where you should live, who you should marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you owe your parents, family, and friends. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the differences between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with ... and in the process, you learn to go with your instincts. You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situation, and outcomes. And you learn that alone does not mean lonely. You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK, and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things you want ... and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect ... and you won't settle for less. And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise. You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve ... and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working towards making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline, and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone ... and that it's OK to risk asking for help. You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the greatest robber baron of all: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve, and that bad things sometimes happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state ... the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy, and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire. Hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. Keep smiling, keep trusting, and stay open to every wonderful possibility. Finally, with courage in your heart , take a stand, a deep breath, and begin to design as best you can the life you want to live. CHOICE BY CHOICE. ~By Virginia Marie Swift~
• angel7030

  17 Oct 12, 16:00

  It is of a good blessing that you still can thought, there are many peoples in this world living in a thoughtless condition, they do not dare even dare to think, so please be happy with what you have now and stop complaining about thoughts.

• Ockz

  19 Oct 12, 01:43

  I kinda work things out. Realized I was too idealistic.

  Should have went 50/50 between ideas and reality instead of 90/10.

  Read through some of the posts, thanks for the advices and pokes.

  Time to move on!

  Cheers!

• zulkifli mahmood

  19 Oct 12, 11:01

  Originally posted by Ockz:

  I kinda work things out. Realized I was too idealistic.

  Should have went 50/50 between ideas and reality instead of 90/10.

  Read through some of the posts, thanks for the advices and pokes.

  Time to move on!

  Cheers!

  
  Good to hear that. Always do a reality check and get to the source of your despair. Then see what you can do about it. Moving forward is the only way up rather than being stagnant. Good luck to you.
• angel7030

  23 Oct 12, 15:37

  Originally posted by Ockz:

  I kinda work things out. Realized I was too idealistic.

  Should have went 50/50 between ideas and reality instead of 90/10.

  Read through some of the posts, thanks for the advices and pokes.

  Time to move on!

  Cheers!

  
  The keys to human mind is enlightenment, once you get the Gees of it, it just a piece of cake..cool yo dude

• M the name

  22 Nov 12, 16:16

  There is always an professional bodies you can seek help if you want : http://www.gaialifeinternational.com

• FireIce

  22 Nov 12, 16:33

  dont wish it were easier, wish you were better.

• becalm

  22 Nov 12, 16:34

  Originally posted by Ockz:

  Finally, I hate myself for not being myself. I hate myself not being able to be 100% honest with others about my true thoughts. I hate being the neutral, nice guy. I really, really, hate it. I want to be an asshole. I tried really hard. To make snide remarks at "weak" people, diss girls instead of respecting them, did everything a bad boy did, but I felt that wasn't who I am. Almost crossed the line with a girl, backed out.

  Remind me of this

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMSixENoid4

• becalm

  22 Nov 12, 16:41

  Originally posted by Ockz:

  I'm... Just... Really Tired.

  Just wonder, how u doing now TS?