Harassment from a china woman, pls help!
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I am being harassing by a china woman and accusing me having an affair with his husband by a very simple joking manner in sms related to work "yes mum" then i replied "good son". i had reported to police twice but seems like no help at all. That woman still harassing me by callings/smses/emails anytime she likes. Pls help and advise me....i am afraid that china woman came out of no way to harass me in the middle of no way to insult me in public or....cos i do not know what she will do..... This incident happened sometime in early Jan12. i received a call from a china woman, asking to meet up with me etc....the following incident as follow : I had received numeral miss calls between 6am – 7.30am. When I woke up at 7am for morning toilette to get ready to work. My phone rang again and I picked up the call, a china woman accent looking for me(calling my name), the tele-conversation as follows : [Date : 6 Jan 2012 ; Time : 7.20am] China woman : xxx please. xxx : Yes, speaking. China woman : Can you speak mandarin. xxx : Yes, who is that?. China woman : Can I meet you?. xxx : Who are you, why you want to meet me. China women : you know… xxx : Knowing what?. Who are you?. You’re not even telling me who are you, why should I meet you. China women : you know… Then I just hang up the call as I thought this china woman either got something wrong or got the wrong person with the same name as me or else it scams. But she calls back and I did not want to answer the calls. Then I received her sms said “ I don’t want u loss face that’s why call u, but if u don’t mind. We will meet in ur office.� After reading her sms, I felt more puzzle as no friends of mind knowing where my office and I did not have any china friends either. By saying that, I assured that lady definitely got the wrong person. After that, I totally forgot about this incident. Around 11am, my colleague (his husband) called office and apologized to me this morning calls then I realized his wife was from China and I asked him what happened and why she kept callings me so many times early in the morning. I told him that your matter better settled by yourself. I have nothing to do with you matter and don’t came to me. When my colleague(his husband) came to office, I asked again why she kept callings me then he told me his wife suspect we are having an affair because she discover a sms in his mobile which was work related issue, he replied to me in a joking manner “Yes mum� and I replied “good son�. He asking helped from my another colleague trying to explain to her in mandarin.After short period of time,thing did not get well, that china woman using her husband mobile phone as well as her mobile phone or block/unknown calls to disturb me.in the middle of the night or early in the morning.... Despite, I replied and warned her in sms said “I don’t‘ know what’s going on n nothing to do btw ur matter. Stop harassing me again, if u do n I will report to police.� Unfortunately, she did not believe and replied me in Chinese “请自爱�. I alrdy informed all the incident to my colleagues in the begininng as well as shown to them all the miss calls/smses/emails......until now she still keeps harassing me with no reasons, checking his husband credit cards/mobilephone/emails etc..... whatever things, she will trying link all the things to me....... Pls help and advice, what shld i do?. its alrdy happened in Jan12 until now...i never go out and contact my colleague at all, why she can hounded me like that..and i alrdy report to police twice but no help at all.... Thanks! Nobody
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nice story
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Originally posted by Nobodythk:
I am being harassing by a china woman and accusing me having an affair with his husband by a very simple joking manner in sms related to work “yes mum” then i replied “good son”. i had reported to police twice but seems like no help at all. That woman still harassing me by callings/smses/emails anytime she likes. Pls help and advise me….i am afraid that china woman came out of no way to harass me in the middle of no way to insult me in public or….cos i do not know what she will do…..
This incident happened sometime in early Jan12. i received a call from a china woman, asking to meet up with me etc….the following incident as follow :
I had received numeral miss calls between 6am – 7.30am. When I woke up at 7am for morning toilette to get ready to work. My phone rang again and I picked up the call, a china woman accent looking for me(calling my name), the tele-conversation as follows :
/>China woman : xxx please.
xxx : Yes, speaking.
China woman : Can you speak mandarin.
xxx : Yes, who is that?.
China woman : Can I meet you?.
xxx : Who are you, why you want to meet me.
China women : you know…
xxx : Knowing what?. Who are you?. You’re not even telling me who are you, why should I meet you.
China women : you know…Then I just hang up the call as I thought this china woman either got something wrong or got the wrong person with the same name as me or else it scams. But she calls back and I did not want to answer the calls. Then I received her sms said “ I don’t want u loss face that’s why call u, but if u don’t mind. We will meet in ur office.”
After reading her sms, I felt more puzzle as no friends of mind knowing where my office and I did not have any china friends either. By saying that, I assured that lady definitely got the wrong person. After that, I totally forgot about this incident.
Around 11am, my colleague (his husband) called office and apologized to me this morning calls then I realized his wife was from China and I asked him what happened and why she kept callings me so many times early in the morning. I told him that your matter better settled by yourself. I have nothing to do with you matter and don’t came to me.
When my colleague(his husband) came to office, I asked again why she kept callings me then he told me his wife suspect we are having an affair because she discover a sms in his mobile which was work related issue, he replied to me in a joking manner “Yes mum” and I replied “good son”.
He asking helped from my another colleague trying to explain to her in mandarin.After short period of time,thing did not get well, that china woman using her husband mobile phone as well as her mobile phone or block/unknown calls to disturb me.in the middle of the night or early in the morning…. Despite, I replied and warned her in sms said “I don’t‘ know what’s going on n nothing to do btw ur matter. Stop harassing me again, if u do n I will report to police.” Unfortunately, she did not believe and replied me in Chinese “请自爱”.
I alrdy informed all the incident to my colleagues in the begininng as well as shown to them all the miss calls/smses/emails…...until now she still keeps harassing me with no reasons, checking his husband credit cards/mobilephone/emails etc….. whatever things, she will trying link all the things to me…....
Pls help and advice, what shld i do?. its alrdy happened in Jan12 until now…i never go out and contact my colleague at all, why she can hounded me like that..and i alrdy report to police twice but no help at all….
Thanks!
Nobody
Lets see, is his phone issued by your company ? And your phone is also company issued ?
Basically , you are caught flirting with this married man.
You may not be the only one his wife is going after. There are possibly other women he flirts with outside work.
You cannot hide behind "work related issues". Always keep communications business like and strict about office ethics and behaviors.
In my work, we had to deal with a lot of sexual harrassment problems before, so now every employee goes for compulsory yearly "reminder" training about work place sexual harrassments and how to avoid it.
Keep private communications private, do not mix with work place comms..there are too many cases of office affairs attributed to "work related" interactions. Its just a lame excuse.
We are all mature adult workers, able to control our behaviors and desires.
You may think your "good son" tex reply seemed innocent to you.
it may not be the case for him or his wife, if he never have a good trust record in his marriage.
Your colleague may be having marital problems at home, and now due to your text being so personal, she has more reason to believe he is being unfaithful.
I suggest u keep records of the texts and emails and note down time of calls and caller ID. So that in any case u can Use as defense .
Your colleague need to go for marital counseling. If he can't work it through, u will need to escalate to your management. if he need to , he should leave the company and start elsewhere.
As the saying goes, don't shit where u eat.
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thanks for advice, but anyway since that incident, i m avoiding to hv such joking manner to my colleagues....she is the one keep harassing with no reasons, moreover how could a person harassing someone with the only sms that send long time ago..... i have kept all the phone calls/smses/emails that she harassed me and reported to police twice, just wanna know if there is any way beside reporting to police....cos seems like reporting to police doesn't help in this case.
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giv me the number ... consider your problems solved.
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simple lar
divert ur calls -
Originally posted by Nobodythk:
thanks for advice,
but anyway since that incident, i m avoiding to hv such joking manner to my colleagues….she is the one keep harassing with no reasons, moreover how could a person harassing someone with the only sms that send long time ago…..i have kept all the phone calls/smses/emails that she harassed me and reported to police twice, just wanna know if there is any way beside reporting to police….cos seems like reporting to police doesn’t help in this case.
The police will not do anything in your case, because it's a civil infringement. Not criminal.
Now that u have all your evidence and recorded support, u need to first talk to your management and explain to them the situation, inform them u have no choice but to commence civil litigation against the co-worker. Your management may either step in and try to resolve the issue , or they will give u the blessing to go ahead and sue his wife.
Either way, at least u have done your part in letting them (management) know, as the legal action between co-workers may change the dynamics within the work environment.
If u get the go ahead to file legal suit, u likely start with a cease and desist letter drafted by lawyer/paralegal.
Now, if that woman is just out to punish u, she likely will stop.
But if she is out to punish her husband, she may continue until he leaves the company. His marital problem may be very deep rooted, but as an outsider, we won't know.
Good luck.
Add:I am assuming there's really no sensual or sexual activities between u and that co-worker. But if there is/are, then be prepared for things to turn ugly really fast.
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"Pls help and advice, what shld i do?. its alrdy happened in Jan12 until now…i never go out and contact my colleague at all, why she can hounded me like that..and i alrdy report to police twice but no help at all…."
Why she can hound you like that?
Very easy to answer.
Because you can makan one. You don't know how to fight back. You don't know how to retaliate.
Be mean.
Give as good as you get. If you can't, she will continue, because you can't do anything, and she can feel it. So she keep on poking and smiling.
Think how to hurt her back, think how to sabo the husband, make the husband do something or make them fight and quarrel. . Let her come to the office. All the staff should have already know the situation. Have a three-some arguement in the office. When she comes, call security to standby, make sure she don't have a chopper.
Don't be afraid. People only bully people who are afraid.
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Totally agreed with manchat. You gotta be firm and defensive enough to prove that you are innocent. Do not be afraid if you've done nothing wrong. The bad guy always survives. Good luck ;)
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Sure, start a cat fight. If u are not gonna stay long in the company.
Boss can't just fire both, problem resolved.
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Thanks for all...i will see how. if really wanted to fight with her. i am sure i will lose cos i unable to fight and shout like china woman (PRC)... Now, she's only harrass me with calls/sms/emails, if those messages containing threatening msg and i will go to report police 3rd time. She is so drama queen now and make up story by her own. According to my colleague, she is now hiding recorder in his car and house every where and checking his credit card statements says those spending were buying things to me...and also says i asking him to buy car/house to me....she claimed she knew every things...so ridiculous!!! Now i came to know that my colleague going to his lawyer to file for divorce.....its look like thing get more worse to me... haiz!!!, it's very bad luck to me encounter such a crazy woman....
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Originally posted by Nobodythk:
Thanks for all…i will see how. if really wanted to fight with her. i am sure i will lose cos i unable to fight and shout like china woman (PRC)...
Now, she’s only harrass me with calls/sms/emails, if those messages containing threatening msg and i will go to report police 3rd time.
She is so drama queen now and make up story by her own. According to my colleague, she is now hiding recorder in his car and house every where and checking his credit card statements says those spending were buying things to me…and also says i asking him to buy car/house to me….she claimed she knew every things…so ridiculous!!!
Now i came to know that my colleague going to his lawyer to file for divorce…..its look like thing get more worse to me…
haiz!!!, it’s very bad luck to me encounter such a crazy woman….
May I know, are u single or married ?
Dont believe your colleague, what he told u may be him trying to act the victim.
He is trying very hard to discredit his wife, make her look like a crazy woman. A lot of cheating men resort to this when they get caught.
A woman don't just go crazy for no reason. You are a woman yourself, you should know.
He did marry her, so she wasn't that crazy as he paint her to be now.
Unless u hav the chance to hear her side of the story, best u not side with your colleague at all.
When I was single I had many married men tell me sob story about their marriage, wife don't love them anymore, haven't had sex with wife long time. They no longer in love etc etc, all these so I will pity them and agree to be their mistress. So be careful the lies men will use to get into your panties.
If u choose to believe him, then you are just being gullible.
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hi Jojobeach, thanks for your advice. i m still single. my colleague is caucasian and he has no any unusual behaviour to me since i joined this company all thing were work related. Moreover, i got no interest to him cos he is alrdy 60++...the problem is that china woman....thought his husband still very popular. he not lying and i alrdy forward those police reports to his lawyer for his divorce proceeding. during this harassment, i mostly telling to my female colleague cos she knew him for a long time... all my colleagues alrdy knew his wife got problem now... my colleague told me said his wife even suspect another colleague b4 i joined and wanted to come to office many times cos his wife accused him said he called my colleague darling actually she heard wrongly was arlene not darling.....after she knew she was married then she's ok now problem is i do not know how crazy will this china woman do...i am scare she insult me in public as people do not know me they will thought i m the one.....
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Originally posted by Nobodythk:
hi Jojobeach,
thanks for your advice. i m still single. my colleague is caucasian and he has no any unusual behaviour to me since i joined this company all thing were work related. Moreover, i got no interest to him cos he is alrdy 60++...the problem is that china woman….thought his husband still very popular.
he not lying and i alrdy forward those police reports to his lawyer for his divorce proceeding.
during this harassment, i mostly telling to my female colleague cos she knew him for a long time…
all my colleagues alrdy knew his wife got problem now… my colleague told me said his wife even suspect another colleague b4 i joined and wanted to come to office many times cos his wife accused him said he called my colleague darling actually she heard wrongly was arlene not darling…..after she knew she was married then she’s ok
now problem is i do not know how crazy will this china woman do…i am scare she insult me in public as people do not know me they will thought i m the one…..
I agree that u need to be very cautious. If she is staying in Singapore and her marriage is falling apart, she will have no reason to be civilized . The most is she get deported back to her home country and she probably wouldn't care. If she falls, she'd probably want to take someone down with her as well.
I suggest u stay away from that male colleague and try not to travel on the street alone if you can.
fYI : Caucasians are no less/more trustworthy as any guy on the streets. I live in the USA, the Ang MOHs here not very faithful to their spouse much. 60% are divorced and many are cheating on their spouse. Even at 50s or 60s, they still want their second or third marriage with other women. Of course not all are like that, but I've seen enough to know they tend to be concerned with their own self interest more than anything else.
Anyway, it's best to let your family, co-worker and friends know of your situation. They can help watch your back.
I think u should still inform HR , just to keep them in the loop, the last u want to be is collateral damage or the sacrificial lamb.
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thank you very much Jojobeach...will see how then...tired for all this silly thing...
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go check can you file for a PPO
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lol :D
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Time for being nice is over. Faster scare her off or else you will have to spend money to do so by legal means.
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Originally posted by Bus&Soccer l0v3r (VO3x 1):
simple lar
divert ur callsdivert the calls to your mobile isn't ??
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change hp no la
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has the issue been resolved?
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the chena fucked off already?
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After the cheena buzzed off, now come the Ah neh neh above...shit
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Originally posted by mcsy86:
Totally agreed with manchat.
You gotta be firm and defensive enough to prove that you are innocent. Do not be afraid if you’ve done nothing wrong.
The bad guy always survives.
Good luck
Hello, too firm also no good hor, agar agar ok liao, not that we gals like firm one, sometime can be painful... -
where got pain - where youhear from. i show you firm better not pain 1