Background.
-Ex kinda wooed me and made me fell for her.
-Very sweet and patient to me but i have my reserves and i did push our dates off a few times.
-Once I got impatient with her over silly matters but I promise to work out.
-I always said the wrong things which lead her feel insecure.
-She initated break for no reasons, that when i started to miss her and really want her back.
I have tried
- beg, plead, text, email and do sweet gifts and video to apologise for 1st 2 weeks.
- Applied no contact for next 3 weeks. (she texted me to ask how i am on the 3rd week)
- Asked her out after that, she agreed but put aeroplanes for 4 times.
(Excuses like she was sick, the others due to work, cant meet up last min.) To be honest, i trusted her but if she is being sincere, she should at least suggest another date if she postpone right?)
Do i still hv a chance? these few weeks, I been working hard on those she told me. (go gym, study for a paper and get a new job). How i wish i hv a chance to tell her i cherish her, and she really motivated me with all these... argh. But she nv give me a chance and text me as if i was a stranger now.. Weird..
prob, prob not, is matter of patients, it may not nec the same one desired for. Most importantly is focus on [go gym, study for a paper and get a new
job], but for goodness sake pls dun fall for me
Originally posted by infernolord:Background.
-Ex kinda wooed me and made me fell for her.
-Very sweet and patient to me but i have my reserves and i did push our dates off a few times.
-Once I got impatient with her over silly matters but I promise to work out.-I always said the wrong things which lead her feel insecure.
-She initated break for no reasons, that when i started to miss her and really want her back.
I have tried
- beg, plead, text, email and do sweet gifts and video to apologise for 1st 2 weeks.
- Applied no contact for next 3 weeks. (she texted me to ask how i am on the 3rd week)
- Asked her out after that, she agreed but put aeroplanes for 4 times.
(Excuses like she was sick, the others due to work, cant meet up last min.) To be honest, i trusted her but if she is being sincere, she should at least suggest another date if she postpone right?)
Do i still hv a chance? these few weeks, I been working hard on those she told me. (go gym, study for a paper and get a new job). How i wish i hv a chance to tell her i cherish her, and she really motivated me with all these... argh. But she nv give me a chance and text me as if i was a stranger now.. Weird..
U mean all these while...u never told her u cherish her ?
So u miss her which part now?
You treated her like crap before, now she treat u crap back lor... Song boh?
Got chance or not ? Of cors got chance. After she gets her payback 10 fold first.
Be patient lor... How?
Go gym, build up those muscles, then send her a pic of your new body.
Go get that paper , score first class, then send her a copy of your result.
Go get new job, then drive that Beemer fetch her from work so she can hao lian abit in front of her co worker.
Then tell her you do all these for her.. Tell her u cannot live without her lor.
lastly, buy her a big diamond ring, ask her to marry u...
Happy ending lor.....ok? Good.
Chance is always have one...
Just see how you uterlise it!
I really dun know wad to do next. Really tired of all these emotional rides when she agreed to meet me and then just text me last min she cant meet.
Think i shld refain from contacting her hopefully she thinks of me and contact me.
Is this wise.? I know i cannot keep thinking abt her.. now i going to hv a new career and paper...
Win back what???? Throw away in the rubbish bin not to be recycled still wanna allowed rubbish back ????
If you have a nice and good bf or gf now, treasure!
She is giving you a taste of your own medicine.
Have u already admit to her you realized what a shitty boyfriend u were before?
All you have to do is tell her how sorry you are for being a big ass jerk , will change and be good from now onwards. But please walk the talk.
Ask for another chance to start over again. She will be cautious, so let her be for a while.
Eventually she will be convinced by your genuine affection n go back to herself again.
Right now, I can tell u are quite the wuss.
A bit of set back only, you start to back off and run into your little cave.
Man up, no woman wants a mouse for boyfriend.
Originally posted by SJS6638:Win back what???? Throw away in the rubbish bin not to be recycled still wanna allowed rubbish back ????
If you have a nice and good bf or gf now, treasure!
If he don't change his bratty behavior, no matter how good the gf/bf is , won't last lah.
Even if she takes you back it will be out of pity not love.
Having been such a bad boyfriend towards her..WHY would she even consider taking you back unless shes insane.
All I can say is when a woman have you dancing in her palms..you would have lost all attractiveness towards her...
I suggest you move on and stop bugging her but work towards those goals that you set for yourself.
When you suceed or IF you suceed, she might consider giving you a second chance because she just might convince herself that she had made the wrong decision but by then, you would have become independent enough and not need her anymore.
Who knows in between that time, you might have already found someone else who appreciate you and not want her that badly anymore :D
Originally posted by JelloPoop:Even if she takes you back it will be out of pity not love.
Having been such a bad boyfriend towards her..WHY would she even consider taking you back unless shes insane.
All I can say is when a woman have you dancing in her palms..you would have lost all attractiveness towards her...
I suggest you move on and stop bugging her but work towards those goals that you set for yourself.
When you suceed or IF you suceed, she might consider giving you a second chance because she just might convince herself that she had made the wrong decision but by then, you would have become independent enough and not need her anymore.
Who knows in between that time, you might have already found someone else who appreciate you and not want her that badly anymore :D
Dude, you are talking like a very insecure man. A man afraid os losing control.
A relationship is not about power struggle. Not about who gets to control who.
A relationship is about finding the balance for two very different person to be happy with each other, the point of harmony between giving and receiving.
He can either change and be a better person for this girl or live the regret and be a better person for another. It's his choice who he wants to spend his life with.
Sll he needs to do is admit his mistakes, show remorse and change his ways...if he can't do that, then she don't want him either.
It's that simple.
When a person hurt us, but ask for second chance, we need to know he/she will not do it again.
Actually its not really i mistreated her or wadever. It just that my logical thoughts never came to be as i am hurting her. Its only after the breakup, i consulted many different opinions and advises then i came to my senses.. :(
Example, i told her "we drifting apart.." hoping to work on it. But to her that is a statement.. she feel v bad. Another example is "i feel i not gd enough", to me that is a point which i like to discuss, to her its a statement that she end up feeling she tried so hard why am i still feeling insecure... vice verse...
And of cos, i get impatient when my points didnt get across.. but unknowingly i have hurt her too.. Silly me.
Originally posted by jojobeach:Dude, you are talking like a very insecure man. A man afraid os losing control.
A relationship is not about power struggle. Not about who gets to control who.
A relationship is about finding the balance for two very different person to be happy with each other, the point of harmony between giving and receiving.
He can either change and be a better person for this girl or live the regret and be a better person for another. It's his choice who he wants to spend his life with.
Sll he needs to do is admit his mistakes, show remorse and change his ways...if he can't do that, then she don't want him either.
It's that simple.
When a person hurt us, but ask for second chance, we need to know he/she will not do it again.
ASSUMING both parties want to reconcile then yes I would agree with you. In this case the TS is the only one trying and it seems like the girl does not want him back. Why live your life for someone who does not want you back? Live for yourself...
But the girl DID try to accept the TS. She tried to communicate her wants to the TS DURING the relationship. The TS wasn't listening was he?
Infact the TS himself already admittedly why the relationship broke. Selfishness, lack of commitment, insecurity just to name a few.
Is the TS now making promises out of desperation rather then genuinely wanting to change himself for the better AFTER the relationship has ended?? Could his be a case of emotional attachment rather then real love??
People do not change themselves overnight. People do not change themselves just because they SAID so. They need to show it..no amount of begging will convince her at this moment.
Sadly we do not live in some Korean drama where the female lead will forgive the male lead after a few saranghaeyos....welcome to the real world
Originally posted by infernolord:Actually its not really i mistreated her or wadever. It just that my logical thoughts never came to be as i am hurting her. Its only after the breakup, i consulted many different opinions and advises then i came to my senses.. :(
Example, i told her "we drifting apart.." hoping to work on it. But to her that is a statement.. she feel v bad. Another example is "i feel i not gd enough", to me that is a point which i like to discuss, to her its a statement that she end up feeling she tried so hard why am i still feeling insecure... vice verse...
And of cos, i get impatient when my points didnt get across.. but unknowingly i have hurt her too.. Silly me.
You didn't mistreat her, you made her feel like a fool.
you should cherish the times when you had it, now i think it's too late.
Originally posted by infernolord:Actually its not really i mistreated her or wadever. It just that my logical thoughts never came to be as i am hurting her. Its only after the breakup, i consulted many different opinions and advises then i came to my senses.. :(
Example, i told her "we drifting apart.." hoping to work on it. But to her that is a statement.. she feel v bad. Another example is "i feel i not gd enough", to me that is a point which i like to discuss, to her its a statement that she end up feeling she tried so hard why am i still feeling insecure... vice verse...
And of cos, i get impatient when my points didnt get across.. but unknowingly i have hurt her too.. Silly me.
Sounds like u are an emotional leech.
I doubt u hurt her feelings, rather u have been draining her emotionally.
Due to your insecurities, u constantly seek ego stroking from her.
What u want is her constant reassurance... That you are not that bad, you are a good guy etc etc....
But, what are you giving her back in return ? Probably nothing .
She keeps Trying to get close. yet u often push her away due to your insecurities.
Girls do get tired of guys like that eventually.
Since you are unable to love yourself, you simply cannot love another.
One cannot give what one does not have.
Originally posted by jojobeach:Sounds like u are an emotional leech.
I doubt u hurt her feelings, rather u have been draining her emotionally.
Due to your insecurities, u constantly seek ego stroking from her.
What u want is her constant reassurance... That you are not that bad, you are a good guy etc etc....
But, what are you giving her back in return ? Probably nothing .
She keeps Trying to get close. yet u often push her away due to your insecurities.
Girls do get tired of guys like that eventually.
Since you are unable to love yourself, you simply cannot love another.
One cannot give what one does not have.
Hey stop thrashing the poor dude. The girl just rejected him and he's in an emotional mess. DOn't make him feel guilty. I don't think he did anything wrong. There's always pro and cons of relationship, sometimes the guy and the girl maybe just don't match or each of them got different wants. So their differences cause the breakup.
No matter how the dude wants to change, I don't think it would have saved his relationships. Bottom line is he needs to find somebody who compliments and matches him.
Originally posted by infernolord:Background.
-Ex kinda wooed me and made me fell for her.
-Very sweet and patient to me but i have my reserves and i did push our dates off a few times.
-Once I got impatient with her over silly matters but I promise to work out.-I always said the wrong things which lead her feel insecure.
-She initated break for no reasons, that when i started to miss her and really want her back.
I have tried
- beg, plead, text, email and do sweet gifts and video to apologise for 1st 2 weeks.
- Applied no contact for next 3 weeks. (she texted me to ask how i am on the 3rd week)
- Asked her out after that, she agreed but put aeroplanes for 4 times.
(Excuses like she was sick, the others due to work, cant meet up last min.) To be honest, i trusted her but if she is being sincere, she should at least suggest another date if she postpone right?)
Do i still hv a chance? these few weeks, I been working hard on those she told me. (go gym, study for a paper and get a new job). How i wish i hv a chance to tell her i cherish her, and she really motivated me with all these... argh. But she nv give me a chance and text me as if i was a stranger now.. Weird..
Pal - it is already the end.
She's avoiding you, its confirmed.
So maybe in another 3 weeks time, she most likely text you again to ask you how are you. Thats probably to get her off her guilt for hurting you. So please don't misunderstand it as her giving you an opportunity to pursue her.
Just ignore her. Move on.
She would probably get married and find someone. But so do you. So don't just stand there and cry over spilled milk. Go out there and find other fishes in the sea.
I know it ain't easy getting over your first break-up. But after sometime, its just a sting. You will realise its nothing.
Originally posted by speakoutfor:Hey stop thrashing the poor dude. The girl just rejected him and he's in an emotional mess. DOn't make him feel guilty. I don't think he did anything wrong. There's always pro and cons of relationship, sometimes the guy and the girl maybe just don't match or each of them got different wants. So their differences cause the breakup.
No matter how the dude wants to change, I don't think it would have saved his relationships. Bottom line is he needs to find somebody who compliments and matches him.
Compliment n matches him ? Lol.. u mean, someone who can tolerate his BS. No such thing dude.
He either change and make amends or he keep failing over and over again.
Originally posted by jojobeach:Compliment n matches him ? Lol.. u mean, someone who can tolerate his BS. No such thing dude.
He either change and make amends or he keep failing over and over again.
But I check his thread, he didn't say that he did anything bad to her. He only mention that he said some things to make her feel insecure. Doesn't sound like he did anything bad to her.
Originally posted by infernolord:Actually its not really i mistreated her or wadever. It just that my logical thoughts never came to be as i am hurting her. Its only after the breakup, i consulted many different opinions and advises then i came to my senses.. :(
Example, i told her "we drifting apart.." hoping to work on it. But to her that is a statement.. she feel v bad. Another example is "i feel i not gd enough", to me that is a point which i like to discuss, to her its a statement that she end up feeling she tried so hard why am i still feeling insecure... vice verse...
And of cos, i get impatient when my points didnt get across.. but unknowingly i have hurt her too.. Silly me.
Interesting.. logic and emotion. Are u vulcan by any chance ?
I think you are just a little too late. I see that you begged.... but have you cried? On you knee's all teary and puffy eyed swearing to heaven and hell your undying devotion and sacrifice and never again be who you were.
Originally posted by BadzMaro:Interesting.. logic and emotion. Are u vulcan by any chance ?
I think you are just a little too late. I see that you begged.... but have you cried? On you knee's all teary and puffy eyed swearing to heaven and hell your undying devotion and sacrifice and never again be who you were.
Love can change a man. That's the undeniable truth.
Well, sista, love can also change a woman, but rather in a minor way. When we fall in Love, the color is alway pink in our mind, for guys, it is like traffic lights, change here and there, sometime even green arrow also come out, that is the time, they go flirt around.
The truth is that all married or attached men tends to flirt more than a bachelor, because to them, it is so secretive that it enhance excitement in their homos, more so that they can compare it with their wife or gf.
Originally posted by angel7030:Well, sista, love can also change a woman, but rather in a minor way. When we fall in Love, the color is alway pink in our mind, for guys, it is like traffic lights, change here and there, sometime even green arrow also come out, that is the time, they go flirt around.
The truth is that all married or attached men tends to flirt more than a bachelor, because to them, it is so secretive that it enhance excitement in their homos, more so that they can compare it with their wife or gf.
so not trhue
where you gt this idea 1? wikipedia or readers' digest?
lol