Originally posted by Enzol:Hi people, im relatively new to this forum. However im seeking some answers and advice from my current situation here. First of all, i would like to thank you for your time listening to me. Here goes:
Due to frequent quarrels caused by our personality differences, I broke up with my gf of 3 years almost a year back in 2011. Things were going on okay for me, moving on and all.
Until afew months later, my ex (lets call her Jane) contacted me back, wanting to meet up for dinner. I was thinking she had moved on as well and just wana be friends. I was always open to the idea of old flames being friends and all and a few of my good friends are actually my ex-gfs.
I met jane up, and she was okay, still the same old girl i used to date. we had dinner and all was pleasant, but unexpectedly we ended up having sex at my place in the wee hour of the night. And this was not all, she actually revealed to me that she is already attached with another guy.. (seems like she moved on quicker than i do.)
I was kinda shocked and all, and this doesnt look good on us. I was kinda ashamed of myself, and told myself that i will not do it again. But it was all a lie, i could not resist the temptations of sexual pleasure with Jane, afterall im single and i have my needs.
We began to meet up more often for dinner and usually these dinner dates ended up in sexual trysts in a hotel room. Every week without fail, we will meet up one night to engage in coitus. We began to grow closer to each other, she told me that shes having relationship problems with her current bf, frequent quarrellings, not spending enough time for each other, etc.
I knew that inside her heart, she still loves me, dont even think that she loves her bf. But i am really happy with this current status with her, for i know if we were to be back together again, fights will break out. So getting back together with her is out of the question.
However as time goes on, i begin to feel something weird, i actually felt jealous that she is with her bf. This jealousy began to engulf me and i wanted her to break up with her bf. But on the other hand, i just wanted to maintain this sexual, non commitment relationship with her.
I am very sorry but i admit, i am a really selfish person, i wanted her for myself but yet i doesnt want to commit. I felt that since shes cheating on her bf and their relationships are very rocky, they should just end it. You might brand me a hypocrite for saying this, but afterall, this behind the back sex thing doesnt look good on us and i actually felt guilty, and feel bad for the guy. Although she doesnt. Does this shows that she dont really have feelings for the guy?
I asked her to break up with the guy and dont waste each other’s time since she doesnt really like him. But actually i wanted her for my own (im an asshole really.) I told her that if she break up with her bf, we would have nothing to hide and theres nothing to be guilty and worried for. She felt that its okay being with the guy, since there are no other guys coming by. And she doesnt have a problem cheating on him and theres no difference in the status of our sex-only relationship . She seemed unwilling to break up with the guy.
Things were actually simple and uncomplicated for me – bang her and be satisfied and not giving a fuck about her personal life. But i guess i kinda screwed it up by guilt and jealousy.What should i do? Really need some advice here, FYI, jane is a very emotionally dependent girl, not very much willing to give up/let go of a relationship and needs someone by her side. But i feel that this should not go on. This is wrong. I feel bad for the guy and most importantly i want her to be mine. Please help me.
Very much appreciated and grateful,
Enzo
Easy, tell her to break up with her current bf, make her yours. Then let her go cheat on you with her ex bf.
This sounds familiar. Like a story being repackaged and reselled to the audience. Your story is very similar to the one about a married lady having affair with her boss. All the sex only innuendos coincidentaly connect to the other thread about friends with benefits.
Is this elaborate story an attempt to gauge sexual fairness of whether it is fair or not that a guy or lady betrays their partner?
I doubt the authenticity of Enzo story.
Besides, why would a former ex wants to have sex with her former boyfriend? As if she never tried it with him. Moreover she already have a boyfriend and moved on fast. If she wanted more sex, she could easily dumped the boyfriend and have sex with a newer guy. Or she could still be with this loser while seducing another guy for sex. Why would she want the same old hamburger in the form of Enzo? Unless his penis is 9 inches long.
This sounds more like a Sgsexforum "sex dream" than reality.
Two ways to it:
1) Keep it status quo (keep f___ing her and not committing yourself to anything) so you still have your way of 'fun'.
2) Disappear from thin air totally, AKA - disappear from her life, that is, if you are so 'thoughtful'.
She hasn't been judging you during this period so who are you to judge her, her lifestyle, her other BGR problems?
good news, u are better than the current bf.
in terms of certain activity
thats all.
TS reminds me of a certain simba.
friends with benefits?
Cheating here and there~
Hmmm... if I were you i wouldnt take her back because you will never know if she is gonna cheat on you next time~
Personal opinion~
Sleeping with these type of woman, u not afraid of getting STD ?
Some more u want her as your gf... U must be very despo.
Take picture or recording when u get together , send it to her current boyfriend.
I am very happy for you.
There is no need for guilt because she has shown many times she is willing and aware of what she is doing. The joke is on her new guy.
You simply need to tell yourself not to be with someone who cheats, lest the joke one day be on you.
Originally posted by speakoutfor:This sounds familiar. Like a story being repackaged and reselled to the audience. Your story is very similar to the one about a married lady having affair with her boss. All the sex only innuendos coincidentaly connect to the other thread about friends with benefits.
Is this elaborate story an attempt to gauge sexual fairness of whether it is fair or not that a guy or lady betrays their partner?
I doubt the authenticity of Enzo story.
Besides, why would a former ex wants to have sex with her former boyfriend? As if she never tried it with him. Moreover she already have a boyfriend and moved on fast. If she wanted more sex, she could easily dumped the boyfriend and have sex with a newer guy. Or she could still be with this loser while seducing another guy for sex. Why would she want the same old hamburger in the form of Enzo? Unless his penis is 9 inches long.
This sounds more like a Sgsexforum "sex dream" than reality.
I believe so, too. But it does happen.
Originally posted by alize:I am very happy for you.
There is no need for guilt because she has shown many times she is willing and aware of what she is doing. The joke is on her new guy.
You simply need to tell yourself not to be with someone who cheats, lest the joke one day be on you.
That girl was probably sleeping with the current boyfriend when she was still attached to TS back then.
What makes u think she was faithful to TS in the beginning.
Yah, we know, guys like to think they are very special. Wont happen to them one.. Right ? Right......
Originally posted by jojobeach:That girl was probably sleeping with the current boyfriend when she was still attached to TS back then.
What makes u think she was faithful to TS in the beginning.
Yah, we know, guys like to think they are very special. Wont happen to them one.. Right ? Right......
haha, I agree. She may be sleeping with a few other ex-bf as well. Some girls can be compulsive liars =)
Originally posted by Enzol:I probably wont find the answers/advice i need but its okay, just really wana get something off my chest. special thanks to babylon & alize for the replies.
not looking for an online warfare here but to jojobeach & speakoutfor,
first of all, despite your kinda retarded replies,i thank you for ur time & detective work.
but do bear in mind that assumption would really made an ass out of u and me.cheers,
enzol
You are most welcome dude.
Its often easier to Go into denial mode. But you already made yourself the ass when u slept with someone else's girl, thinking that guy was the joke.
And those sob stories... She probably told her bf what a loser you are too.
Frankly, this girl is playing both you and her bf. the joke is on him AND you.
But since u don't mind sharing that hole with another guy... Yes I am happy for you too.
Afterall, if you arnt gonna take advantage of that lose vagina, some other guy is gonna take your place...
Originally posted by Enzol:dear speakoutfor,
why the hell would i want to repackage this story and resell to the audience? If i wana gauge sexual fairness as u have stated, i would just come straight to the point buddy. why would i go through the hassle of writing another story and not getting the answers to your doubts?
your brain just amazed me at this point of time. nevertheless, thank you for your time doubting the authenticity of my story, and i will apologise for not wanting to argue on whether my story is real or fake. now lets just move on. and oh one more thing, i assure you that my dick is nowhere near 9 inches. if u like to assume that only man with 9 inches dick can satisfy women, well, no offence but u should try ways to get ur penis enlarged.cheers!
The only thing amazing is that we are not fooled by story that has a lot of loopholes. Why would an ex-gf want to go and have back with her ex-bf?
I never said that all girls want guys with long dicks. Very rarely ex-gfs have any mood at all to have sex with the ex-bf unless he has some attribute that she wants.
So what attributes you have that you want to make your ex-gf wanna have sex with you again and again? Besides that 9 inch dick?
i think it is quite wrong for you to want her back actually. She is now involved with you and at the same time with another guy. Since you feel some guilt, you are at the very least a little moral guided(i wont say u are very moral guided i guess u know why) I believe if you ever got her back, she could replay the same trick onto you and by then, the morals that you have will throw you back to the pithole u do not want to be in. Either you allow it to remain as it is, or u cut of totally from her to save yourself from the guilt.
After reading your story I want to laugh..you know why???
You're an IDIOT+ a despo...heres why...she is manipulating you...with SEX...
Since her relationship is rocky with her current BF, she is using you..her ex BF to get back at her current BF? GET IT??
In short you're a tool and shes using you to get back at her current stead..does she love you? Probably not..you're the spare tire ..
Originally posted by Enzol:Hi people, im relatively new to this forum. However im seeking some answers and advice from my current situation here. First of all, i would like to thank you for your time listening to me. Here goes:
Due to frequent quarrels caused by our personality differences, I broke up with my gf of 3 years almost a year back in 2011. Things were going on okay for me, moving on and all.
Until afew months later, my ex (lets call her Jane) contacted me back, wanting to meet up for dinner. I was thinking she had moved on as well and just wana be friends. I was always open to the idea of old flames being friends and all and a few of my good friends are actually my ex-gfs.
I met jane up, and she was okay, still the same old girl i used to date. we had dinner and all was pleasant, but unexpectedly we ended up having sex at my place in the wee hour of the night. And this was not all, she actually revealed to me that she is already attached with another guy.. (seems like she moved on quicker than i do.)
I was kinda shocked and all, and this doesnt look good on us. I was kinda ashamed of myself, and told myself that i will not do it again. But it was all a lie, i could not resist the temptations of sexual pleasure with Jane, afterall im single and i have my needs.
We began to meet up more often for dinner and usually these dinner dates ended up in sexual trysts in a hotel room. Every week without fail, we will meet up one night to engage in coitus. We began to grow closer to each other, she told me that shes having relationship problems with her current bf, frequent quarrellings, not spending enough time for each other, etc.
I knew that inside her heart, she still loves me, dont even think that she loves her bf. But i am really happy with this current status with her, for i know if we were to be back together again, fights will break out. So getting back together with her is out of the question.
However as time goes on, i begin to feel something weird, i actually felt jealous that she is with her bf. This jealousy began to engulf me and i wanted her to break up with her bf. But on the other hand, i just wanted to maintain this sexual, non commitment relationship with her.
I am very sorry but i admit, i am a really selfish person, i wanted her for myself but yet i doesnt want to commit. I felt that since shes cheating on her bf and their relationships are very rocky, they should just end it. You might brand me a hypocrite for saying this, but afterall, this behind the back sex thing doesnt look good on us and i actually felt guilty, and feel bad for the guy. Although she doesnt. Does this shows that she dont really have feelings for the guy?
I asked her to break up with the guy and dont waste each other’s time since she doesnt really like him. But actually i wanted her for my own (im an asshole really.) I told her that if she break up with her bf, we would have nothing to hide and theres nothing to be guilty and worried for. She felt that its okay being with the guy, since there are no other guys coming by. And she doesnt have a problem cheating on him and theres no difference in the status of our sex-only relationship . She seemed unwilling to break up with the guy.
Things were actually simple and uncomplicated for me – bang her and be satisfied and not giving a fuck about her personal life. But i guess i kinda screwed it up by guilt and jealousy.What should i do? Really need some advice here, FYI, jane is a very emotionally dependent girl, not very much willing to give up/let go of a relationship and needs someone by her side. But i feel that this should not go on. This is wrong. I feel bad for the guy and most importantly i want her to be mine. Please help me.
Very much appreciated and grateful,
Enzo
Your current arrangement creates much ambivalence; while it seemed all nice to have that physical relationship without the commitment aspect, the reflection in your post does seemed to have a shift in perspective: though as much as the physical need is being satisfied, emotionally, there is stark emptiness. We must always remember that our needs are complex and it goes beyond just instinctive urge because we will start questioning the meaning behind our behaviour, which is probably why you are so tormented about this whole thing.
Your ex-gf is likely to lead a dissatisfying relationship - there is something critical that she is not getting from her current beau, which may not be necessary sex. While you have concluded that the physical needs are mutual, your writing does seem to suggest that she probably wants to leverage more out of just pure sex: what I am trying to say is that she appears in wanting to be emotionally connected to you.
While it is strange to say that because it started out as a physical thing, however if you examine closely, the form of this loosely structured relationship has evolved into some sort of 'support session' each time you spent the night together. This probably threw the both of you off the original 'fark buddy course' because if physical need is primary, then the emotional feedback shouldn't have happen. The continuous need for the meet up has transformed this situation into more than simple sex sessions, it has actually cause both of you to reflect upon the reality of this sub-rosa relationship, both past and present state.
Somehow your emotions betrayed your subconscious thoughts, it is likely that the quarrels you used to experience in the past does not exist in this current arrangement. Obviously - since there is no longer any reasonable position for the condition of a quarrel to happen. This is probably an important reflection cue to somehow think and actually consider the possibility that if you could maintain a non-conflicting relationship with her on this arrangement, it is actually suggestive that you might be able to maintain it this way too if both of you are actually together.
However, there are too much fear and ambivalence present to make a committed decision. Though it is easier for you to tell her to 'break up' if she doesn't have any more feelings for him, but that would mean that she would have 'nobody' in her perspective, which may suggest elements of loneliness that associate itself with being single.
On the other hand, although you know that you are going to win her back if she breaks up with her current beau, she does not have this information on hand to be able to make a 'sound decision'. Or perhaps, she is waiting for you to 'reveal' that information, so that she can consider her options.
There is no problem in your arrangement; the only problem is when you want to stretch unrealistically beyond what the structure of this arrangement could provide. Every system of arrangement has its limits on how much return it begets. Waddling along the shoreline will only get you so far; until the both of you throw yourself into the deep sea and actually start swimming, then you can talk about how to cope and manage the 'challenges of swimming' and not just thinking about swimming.
Cheers
This sound like kiddy's palace Love and Sex.
Let put thing into perspectives,
Do you wish to marry a virgin girl?
Do you wish to marry a girl that flirt around with a flowering heart?
Do you wish to end up finding out that you are just a spare tyre, mostly for sex and nothing else?
And finally, even as a girl, I have to ask you, do you like 3p sex?
Originally posted by angel7030:This sound like kiddy's palace Love and Sex.
Let put thing into perspectives,
Do you wish to marry a virgin girl?
Do you wish to marry a girl that flirt around with a flowering heart?
Do you wish to end up finding out that you are just a spare tyre, mostly for sex and nothing else?
And finally, even as a girl, I have to ask you, do you like 3p sex?
i amswr i amswer
HELL YEH I LIKLE ALL OF THESE
You go clean the white board, and no recess for you, go stand at the canteen
these punishments tickles. i am sure youcan do better than that