Originally posted by Bikeforceful:Grandma told me that when she was a young teacher in village primary School, She had scolded a young child harshly for misbehaving and not paying attention in class. Unknown to her, the mother of the child -a egg seller auntie was watching the episode, behind a pillar.
The next morning this egg seller auntie came to the class with 6 hugh eggs wrapped in some old newspaper and greeted grandma giving her the eggs in gratitude. She then identified herself as the mother of the child who had been reprimanded for misbehaving and thanked grandma for being a caring teacher. Grandma was of course afraid of taking anything from any parent in case she gets accused of taking bribes, declined to accept the eggs, but assured her that he son will be given special attention to make sure he passes his exams.
The egg seller implored: ” sinseh you beat him if he doesn’t listen to you, or is naughty, beat him as you would see fit, to see that he succeeds, as I am myself not educated I want his life in future to be better, than mine” This egg seller’s son later became a school principal in his later life.
In today’s scenario, teachers cannot use corporal punishment on kids as their educated parents will accuse the teacher of child abuse and complain to the MOE. Kids must be psychologically counselled and managed with tender loving care even if they should simply be punished! Undoubtedly we are breeding a generation of horrific brats!
wow, using violence to control kids/to create talent??
"Good job"
Physical punishments are never the way.
It's not feasible for psychological development. Even if the child grew more educated for being punished, the child will have flaws. Studies have already shown that physical punishments make the students more dumber, not smarter.
Ever heard of "brainless musclemen"?
There're meanings behind it. If the person developed through pain, the child will be developed by narrowing his thoughts into a singular point. This causes the child to be less productive and unable to be creative. He may pass his school but he'll not be a productive worker. Employers seek workers who are able to give selling ideas. Selling ideas are ideas that others never thought about. A child who grew this way will become too practical towards every perceptions.
People can see singaporean males who went through NS. In terms of economy productivity, explain why they are inferior than local females and foreigners. "Pain" may have benefits but it sacrifices many important traits.
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"Pain" creates a follower instead of a creator / talent / genius.
"Physical punishments" & "pain" can never create talent.
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"Pain" can only be used as a mean to control out of conveniences.
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than how come that fella can become a school principal?
that being said, is there anyway to reverse the side effects of physical ounishment in an SG male adult?
just my 2 cents.
Verbal and pyshical pusiment will not work.
no point. instead, school should adpot "with holding rewards" pushiment. its is so as to teach the child what is right what is wrong, and not to fear pushiment.
my current school is effective in its disciphline, like you never do homework you stay back for 3 hours. (with-holding rewards)
better than my p6 teacher who scream at me everyday and think we should pyschical pushiment.
school is a place to learn, not toture.
Originally posted by Summer hill:just my 2 cents.
Verbal and pyshical pusiment will not work.
no point. instead, school should adpot "with holding rewards" pushiment. its is so as to teach the child what is right what is wrong, and not to fear pushiment.
my current school is effective in its disciphline, like you never do homework you stay back for 3 hours. (with-holding rewards)
better than my p6 teacher who scream at me everyday and think we should pyschical pushiment.
school is a place to learn, not toture.
I agree with this. Staying-back punishments are more effective. It can be more beneficial when the students do extra paper works during their stay-back period too.
It also helps them to prepare for the future because many jobs have overtime when there're extra workloads.
i feel that the child should learn something from the pushiment.
STAY BACK IS EFFECTIVE, because you can let child to practice paper in the time span. you can also remove his rewards of lunch with friends at mac.
TS must be kenna bullied by newbie huh?
Originally posted by kengkia:that being said, is there anyway to reverse the side effects of physical ounishment in an SG male adult?
It's possible, but it can be very hard. It's because the brain develop the most between ago of '1 to 21 years old'. After age of 21, the brain is already set. Usually '21-23' is the age where everything in the brain gets very structured.
I read up psychology development books on this before. It's also the reason why children learn and catch up in languages faster than adults after 21. Language is part of creativity line too. After that prime age, everything gets structured and difficult to change.
Depends the severity of the result from such behavior. Not all children understand your intention of punishing them.
Say if you have a shy kid or an introvert as your child and he's hardly socialising like a normal kid would do, and he does something unacceptable (e.g. he retaliates when a classmate assaults and you only witnesses the part where your child hits someone and not the prior incident which explains his 'unreasonable behavior'), and you start punishing him by caning him without really caring what he says; you only care about showing him "the consequence".) I wonder such punishment would instill fear in him? Because the fear of you hitting him and wants to avoid a relapse, he would learn not to fight back when his live's being threatened.
I never deny caning is one way to discipline a bad behavior. But how to make sure the one who's administering the caning punishment isn't biased or misinformed in his or her parenting capacity?
Originally posted by BabylonPunkette:Depends the severity of the result from such behavior. Not all children understand your intention of punishing them.
Say if you have a shy kid or an introvert as your child and he's hardly socialising like a normal kid would do, and he does something unacceptable (e.g. he retaliates when a classmate assaults and you only witnesses the part where your child hits someone and not the prior incident which explains his 'unreasonable behavior'), and you start punishing him by caning him without really caring what he says; you only care about showing him "the consequence".) I wonder such punishment would instill fear in him? Because the fear of you hitting him and wants to avoid a relapse, he would learn not to fight back when his live's being threatened.
I never deny canning is one way to discipline a bad behavior. But how to make sure the one who's administering the canning punishment isn't biased or misinformed in his or her parenting capacity?
using violence to resolve violence is like bombing for peace.
Also, depends what punishment you are talking about.
Caning AND slapping on the face - to me - are punishments meant to humiliate the thickest of hide. A young child who doesn't have much life experiences hasn't grown a hide thick enough to receive such treatment, much less to understand your idea of "wrongdoings". You mean to say: to discipline someone "effectively", we use physical punishments? Isn't that's a forced practice much like rote learning this society concentrates on? Physical scars from such administration heal easily, but the scars.. the mental scarring is harder to forget.
Corporal punishment is not to correct the individual.
It is to inject fear to the rest of the group, so that all stay in line.
Using corporal punishment doesnt means you can educate every child into elites. It is always better to 讲�� with them.
Thats why diplomacy always come before deterrence.
Originally posted by BabylonPunkette:Also, depends what punishment you are talking about.
Caning AND slapping on the face - to me - are punishments meant to humiliate the thickest of hide. A young child who doesn't have much life experiences hasn't grown a hide thick enough to receive such treatment, much less to understand your idea of "wrongdoings". You mean to say: to discipline someone "effectively", we use physical punishments? Isn't that's a forced practice much like rote learning this society concentrates on? Physical scars from such administration heal easily, but the scars.. the mental scarring is harder to forget.
Originally posted by Summer hill:just my 2 cents.
Verbal and pyshical pusiment will not work.
no point. instead, school should adpot "with holding rewards" pushiment. its is so as to teach the child what is right what is wrong, and not to fear pushiment.
my current school is effective in its disciphline, like you never do homework you stay back for 3 hours. (with-holding rewards)
better than my p6 teacher who scream at me everyday and think we should pyschical pushiment.
school is a place to learn, not toture.
Originally posted by OranDe:Physical punishments are never the way.
It's not feasible for psychological development. Even if the child grew more educated for being punished, the child will have flaws. Studies have already shown that physical punishments make the students more dumber, not smarter.
Ever heard of "brainless musclemen"?
There're meanings behind it. If the person developed through pain, the child will be developed by narrowing his thoughts into a singular point. This causes the child to be less productive and unable to be creative. He may pass his school but he'll not be a productive worker. Employers seek workers who are able to give selling ideas. Selling ideas are ideas that others never thought about. A child who grew this way will become too practical towards every perceptions.
People can see singaporean males who went through NS. In terms of economy productivity, explain why they are inferior than local females and foreigners. "Pain" may have benefits but it sacrifices many important traits.
-----------------
"Pain" creates a follower instead of a creator / talent / genius.
"Physical punishments" & "pain" can never create talent.
-----------------
"Pain" can only be used as a mean to control out of conveniences.
-----------------
Originally posted by Bikeforceful:
I am sure you had a very understanding English teacher.
yup.
Spare the rod and raise Brat Pitt.
And this is an aunt agony issue because.....
Are u trying to justify your acts of violence towards your own children ?
You think u can beat the devil out of your little brats ?
Sorry, to disappoint u. You can't.
Children respond better to encouragements and inspirations -The harder way than beating your defenseless kids.
U may think you are doing them good when you inflict pain and fear.. Maybe.. Just maybe your children will work hard and become successful... But they will not be sharing any of their life with you when they leave the nest.
They wil resent you , the way you Ill treated them until the day you die. Is that what you want ?
Bratty behaviors r emulated from their parents. You are a tyrant, your own child will be no different than you or your wife.
You treat them with disrespect, they will learn this disrespect from you and treat you the same when they grow up.
corporal punishments r no way a means to a sucessful end. It's just a mean to end YOUR personal frustrations.
Instead of demanding your children understand you, why don't u try understanding your children?
And this is an Aunt Agony issue because....
Originally posted by Bikeforceful:Affluence, small families ( due to earlier two children is enough policy) , and western influences of “understanding your child ” have all resulted in the increasing number of “brats” we see today. It is not a matter of just using reward and encouragement all the time. Kids must be taught that certain things are wrong and cannot be done e.g being rude to parents spitting and beating up the parent is a definitely NONO! If parents tolerate a young brat hitting them all the time when in tantrums…and yet does not discipline the child, then be prepared to be continuuous beaten even when the child has grown up!
Keep lying to yourself foolish father.
Spare the rod and spoil the child is an old phrase written in ancient texts, but was severely distorted by modern interpretation.
The phrase was written to describe King Solomon's parenting style. But had a negative result...
If u read about Solomon's son Rehoboam, he became vicious and hated by his own people.
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1 Kings 12:13-14: "And the king [Rehoboam] answered the people roughly, and forsook the counsel of the old men which they had given him, and spake to them after the counsel of the young men, saying, My father made your yoke heavy, but I will add to your yoke: my father chastised you with whips, but I will chastise you with scorpions." (ASV) |
http://www.religioustolerance.org/spankin8.htm
The rod should be interpret as discipline, guidance, correction and teaching.
"increasing number of brats " ? What made u think there were less brats during your time ? Or the time during our ancestors ? There were plenty , but the earth was less populated back then, we just don't see much around us due to more personal space between families.
In crowded cities, u see more nasty people around relative to a suburban setting. Does it means there's less nasty people on earth before ? No.
Perhaps your child is a brat, because u are a brat yourself. A person cannot teach what he does not know.
Your father probably never impart u good parenting style, that's why u believe beating a child is acceptable and seek justification for your foul thinking.