Hi I am currently studying Poly.
Recently I joined this youth gathering. I am a guy who is very talkative and likes to contribute a lot.
So I've attended this youth gathering for like 6 to 8 rounds. There's like several dozen of us youths from various backgrounds, some study Poly, some at NTU, some MDIS, etc, etc. I am a newbie there. Some of them has been there since their schooling years. So they know each other very well except me. But i like to talk a lot. There are a few pretty girls there too, but some of the girls are attached.
THere is one particular girl who is a bit overweight but she is quite dominating and she has a lot of friends in this group. She is talkative too. So during the gathering we will discuss committee and organising things. However after the discussion, this "overweight" girl likes to talk about her dreams and her studies to us. Some of the youths there are great friends of hers and they like listening to her. So I thought of just joining into the conversation, sometimes when she complains about her studies and her struggles with her exams (sometimes she has to repeat them again), I just gave some piece of advice and struck some jokes (nobody laugh of course). It was after the meeting and there was like 8 of us so I wanted to make some friends so I remained while the rest left and then she came chatting away and everyone else listened.
So after that when we about to leave the place, this 'overweight" girl bid everybody farewell, she spoke each name of the other 7 bidding them goodbye, except me. She didn't say goodbye to me, even when I was only standing next to her.
So my question is, why she is doing that? Ignoring me? Do you think she is being a bit rude?
1) She doesn;t know me that well? But 4 of the 7 people - she knew well, the other 3, she only knew them for like 6 months.
2) She thinks that I like her because I am talkative? I think maybe she has a boyfriend, and she think I am one of those guys who like to chat away to go after girls?
3) Am i being too sensitive?
4) Is she trying to test me? To see if I react? If I do react, she may think I like her? Which in truth I don't. I also suspect she has a boyfriend.
So what should I do when I encounter her?
1) Not to say hello to her because maybe she is suspicious of my intentions? Try not to be too friendly
2) Just ignore her and be myself
Ok, I don't want to reveal too much. Please don't ask me what this youth meeting is about because who knows maybe some of them are in this forum so I don't want to expose my identity.
dont think too much.
don't think too much.
you love her?
Don't think too much about the overweight girl.
Are you a little interested in her? Fascinated by her dreams? Stories?
Just be normal friends with her and everything will be fine
Her fat cheeks is blocking her view of you ....sometime fat ppl got loose skin
Or Maybe you skiiny stand beside her only make her look fatter...
Failure..
maybe now such fetish for fat gals is on the rise....
very useful to put them at the left side of the car......u know...
oopss.....
Firstly, it should be "why did she behave like that?".
Secondly, you're too sensitive.
Lastly, in this world, you cannot please everyone.
x
Originally posted by SimbaSimba22:Hi I am currently studying Poly.
Recently I joined this youth gathering. I am a guy who is very talkative and likes to contribute a lot.
So I've attended this youth gathering for like 6 to 8 rounds. There's like several dozen of us youths from various backgrounds, some study Poly, some at NTU, some MDIS, etc, etc. I am a newbie there. Some of them has been there since their schooling years. So they know each other very well except me. But i like to talk a lot. There are a few pretty girls there too, but some of the girls are attached.
THere is one particular girl who is a bit overweight but she is quite dominating and she has a lot of friends in this group. She is talkative too. So during the gathering we will discuss committee and organising things. However after the discussion, this "overweight" girl likes to talk about her dreams and her studies to us. Some of the youths there are great friends of hers and they like listening to her. So I thought of just joining into the conversation, sometimes when she complains about her studies and her struggles with her exams (sometimes she has to repeat them again), I just gave some piece of advice and struck some jokes (nobody laugh of course). It was after the meeting and there was like 8 of us so I wanted to make some friends so I remained while the rest left and then she came chatting away and everyone else listened.
So after that when we about to leave the place, this 'overweight" girl bid everybody farewell, she spoke each name of the other 7 bidding them goodbye, except me. She didn't say goodbye to me, even when I was only standing next to her.
So my question is, why she is doing that? Ignoring me? Do you think she is being a bit rude?
1) She doesn;t know me that well? But 4 of the 7 people - she knew well, the other 3, she only knew them for like 6 months.
2) She thinks that I like her because I am talkative? I think maybe she has a boyfriend, and she think I am one of those guys who like to chat away to go after girls?
3) Am i being too sensitive?
4) Is she trying to test me? To see if I react? If I do react, she may think I like her? Which in truth I don't. I also suspect she has a boyfriend.
So what should I do when I encounter her?
1) Not to say hello to her because maybe she is suspicious of my intentions? Try not to be too friendly
2) Just ignore her and be myself
Ok, I don't want to reveal too much. Please don't ask me what this youth meeting is about because who knows maybe some of them are in this forum so I don't want to expose my identity.
i'm the girl you're talking about...................
and what you mean by i'm fat huh ???/
Originally posted by dracas:Hi Simba,
haha i'm facing the same situation also. There is this extremely obese fat ugly girl I met who is friendly to everyone except me. She will talk endlessly to others to others while to me, there will only be one line replies with a scowl on her face. As if I owe her money. Its not that I want to talk to her but she's the senior and I have to occasionally consult her on some matters. But I understand the feeling of being left out. Then this girl is like the "leader" of the group and if she ignores me, the rest will follow suit cos of the herd mentality.
All my friends gave me the same reply as the above lol. "you like her ah? why so concern whether she talk to you?" "Why you care about ppl who dont give a shit about you, somemore she so fat?" Some say fat ugly girls are very insecure and tend to be nasty to protect themselves. Given a choice, I wouldnt even touch her with a pole.
I am not interested in her. But maybe she thinks I am interested in her.
During some of our meetings, she did say that she is insecure as she battles with some of her worst fears and self condemnation. She didn't say exactly what it was.
I notice that she likes to say hi, hello and greet the other youths whom she know well except me. She can't stop talking, its as if she has to talk.
Maybe you are right, maybe she does feel insecure and she needs people's attention.
Sorry to say. Its not my opinion, she herself said that she is insecure and she has her own demons to battle.
Perhaps I remind her of somebody she hates, her ex boyfriend? Gulp.
Ok ok, my problem now is how to counteract her ignoration of me? As I want to make friends in that youth group but she is always ever dominating in those meetings? Don't get me wrong, I don't want to be good friends with her nor do I want to cross her. She is quite popular among the youths therefore, I want to be in her good books. Also I want reiterate, I am not interested in her, she's not my type. She has too many issues, she has too many baggage (her inner demons).
Originally posted by Susanteo2011:
i'm the girl you're talking about...................
and what you mean by i'm fat huh ???/
Nice try. Hahaha.
Ya lor you really want to be her fwen meh? What if she faint one day how? You have to cpr her mouth you know? Can you lift her up or not? Don't la...save yourself some trouble!
You are thinking too much.
I guess her first impression of you isn't that good.
Just be yourself like you are now, and remain that way, not change to fit in.
An example:
Sometimes you maybe and i don't say you are, looked upon as a player etc.. but maybe you are just friendly towards girls ..
This way people will realise that you are just like this, and this is your character, and will accept you.
Originally posted by kenn3th:You are thinking too much.
I guess her first impression of you isn't that good.
Just be yourself like you are now, and remain that way, not change to fit in.
An example:
Sometimes you maybe and i don't say you are, looked upon as a player etc.. but maybe you are just friendly towards girls ..
This way people will realise that you are just like this, and this is your character, and will accept you.
You are right. I think you confirm my suspicions all along. The problem is that I am a very talkative person. So being myself is going to bring me a lot of problems.
She is one of the leaders there and she has many friends, I afraid that if I do go into her bad books, she may speak badly of me. I have heard her speak badly of other people at her college.
Its going to be difficult, I have two choices:
1) To be myself and to undergo some long term suffering to prove myself. I've seen some guys at this youth gathering drop out, maybe there is some politics that they were forced out. So, I may have to undergo some "boycott" before they can see my honesty. My problem is, I am a person who cannot stand pressure, I am afraid I may drop out too.
2) Perhaps I should keep quiet and not say a word. I notice there's also a new guy there, he is very shy and quiet. But I can't stand being quiet. Furthermore, his cousin who is one of the leaders is supporting him. Me? I am completely new and have no political support.
Originally posted by mancha:frus·trat·edadjective1.disappointed; thwarted
What is it you want from her?
If nothing why are you frustrated?
I am not attracted to her, don't get me wrong. I know people advice is to ignore but when you receive some snub treatment from her, doesn't it affect you?
I browse through some Aunt agony threads here and found that there were people who complained that they were snub and they just could not get over it.
So yeah, its hard to get snub. I know it comes from an insecure overweight girl but it makes one's self esteem feel a bit low.
I hope you understand, me as a growing up adolescent longs to be accepted by my peers. I am not a player, I just want to be part of a group of friends.
Initially i was talking crap, but I think its time to get serious....
You know what your problem is? You have a selective perception of things. I don't know how you can ignore the suggestions that you could be overly sensitive. The signs are there, it is obvious.
Throughout your whole post and reply, You never once self reflected on yourself, but yet you keep trying to find fault with this slightly overweight girl.
Everything she does, it seems to annoy you in some sort of way. You read too much into her actions it has made you paranoid.
Did you even try to get to know her better or not? AS IN REALLY TRY A COUPLE OF TIMES not after one meeting?
How can she be so popular amoung the youth and yet seem so hateful to one individual i do not know or understand.
Can you at least make a freaking effort to get to know her better? Not judge her after one meeting??? Be more forgiving can or not?? You understand some people maybe more shy then others on their first meeting then can you at least try on your part and be friendly to her?
Even the new guy there who is very shy and quiet is being dragged into this mess because of your negativity? What political support are you talkng about? Its a freaking youth meeting FFS not a freaking battlefield..........
Of cause you could be right, but to judge someone after ONE meeting...come on..dont be so narrow minded
You hit the nail on the head about motor mouth in the first part of your post.
Originally posted by JelloPoop:Initially i was talking crap, but I think its time to get serious....
You know what your problem is? You have a selective perception of things. I don't know how you can ignore the suggestions that you could be overly sensitive. The signs are there, it is obvious.
Throughout your whole post and reply, You never once self reflected on yourself, but yet you keep trying to find fault with this slightly overweight girl.
Everything she does, it seems to annoy you in some sort of way. You read too much into her actions it has made you paranoid.
Did you even try to get to know her better or not? AS IN REALLY TRY A COUPLE OF TIMES not after one meeting?
How can she be so popular amoung the youth and yet seem so hateful to one individual i do not know or understand.
Can you at least make a freaking effort to get to know her better? Not judge her after one meeting??? Be more forgiving can or not?? You understand some people maybe more shy then others on their first meeting then can you at least try on your part and be friendly to her?
Even the new guy there who is very shy and quiet is being dragged into this mess because of your negativity? What political support are you talkng about? Its a freaking youth meeting FFS not a freaking battlefield..........
Of cause you could be right, but to judge someone after ONE meeting...come on..dont be so narrow minded
It would be fair to say that I am prematurely judging her after one meeting. However this is after more or less about 10 meetings. Each meeting lasting two to three hours.
I suppose getting to know her better means to attend more meetings and see how she is. However I don't think I want to personally go to her, speak to her like wanting to make friends. I don't want to show desperation or neediness in front of her or else she may misunderstand my genuine friendmaking intentions.
Its hard not to show negativity when you feel snubbed. Its not the first time she's done it to me. We have like traditional announcement of birthdays every month. And when the names of all are announced, she and her friends would come over and shake and give well wishes to those birthday boys and girls. Last month was my birthday, it was announced, but none of her and her friends came over to shake my hand nor wished me happy birthday. I know this sounds childlish but if you were in my shoes, you really feel snubbed. I also dislike my birthday being announced to more or less 200 people at this youth gathering.
Some three weeks ago, after meeting, I joined some of the youth to go to a hawker place (not wanting to disclose to protect my identity) for some fellowship. Again, she dominated the whole conversation. She spoken about a drama sketch we youths performed, she gave recognition to everybody else except me. I felt really out of place. When I tried to get involve in conversation, she and her friends ignored me.
Two months ago, we were discussing youth problems. When I shared a joke, while she was the leader of about 10 of us, she and her friends didn't laugh at all. Not sure why it wasn;t funny. However, when she and her friends crack their jokes which wasn't funny for me, they laughed like crazy.
I think its a big problem, she and her friends are dominating and clickish. I notice few newcomers have hard time settling down. I've seen several newcomers particularly guys dropped out after 2 or 3 meetings. Maybe she is counting the days to my "demise". She's been around this youth org since she and her friends were 14 or 15 years old. Whereas me, I just joined. Its hard to be a newbie.
Originally posted by SimbaSimba22:Hi I am currently studying Poly.
Recently I joined this youth gathering. I am a guy who is very talkative and likes to contribute a lot.
So I've attended this youth gathering for like 6 to 8 rounds. There's like several dozen of us youths from various backgrounds, some study Poly, some at NTU, some MDIS, etc, etc. I am a newbie there. Some of them has been there since their schooling years. So they know each other very well except me. But i like to talk a lot. There are a few pretty girls there too, but some of the girls are attached.
THere is one particular girl who is a bit overweight but she is quite dominating and she has a lot of friends in this group. She is talkative too. So during the gathering we will discuss committee and organising things. However after the discussion, this "overweight" girl likes to talk about her dreams and her studies to us. Some of the youths there are great friends of hers and they like listening to her. So I thought of just joining into the conversation, sometimes when she complains about her studies and her struggles with her exams (sometimes she has to repeat them again), I just gave some piece of advice and struck some jokes (nobody laugh of course). It was after the meeting and there was like 8 of us so I wanted to make some friends so I remained while the rest left and then she came chatting away and everyone else listened.
So after that when we about to leave the place, this 'overweight" girl bid everybody farewell, she spoke each name of the other 7 bidding them goodbye, except me. She didn't say goodbye to me, even when I was only standing next to her.
So my question is, why she is doing that? Ignoring me? Do you think she is being a bit rude?
1) She doesn;t know me that well? But 4 of the 7 people - she knew well, the other 3, she only knew them for like 6 months.
2) She thinks that I like her because I am talkative? I think maybe she has a boyfriend, and she think I am one of those guys who like to chat away to go after girls?
3) Am i being too sensitive?
4) Is she trying to test me? To see if I react? If I do react, she may think I like her? Which in truth I don't. I also suspect she has a boyfriend.
So what should I do when I encounter her?
1) Not to say hello to her because maybe she is suspicious of my intentions? Try not to be too friendly
2) Just ignore her and be myself
Ok, I don't want to reveal too much. Please don't ask me what this youth meeting is about because who knows maybe some of them are in this forum so I don't want to expose my identity.
Simba, can't u find another youth group to join ?
Why die die must stick to this one with that obnoxious leader ?
R u there to have a good time, or r u there because u want to frolick among some pretty girls ? R the girls so to die for that u r willing to throw away ur dignity ?
So, u like to talk a lot ... Maybe u talked too much...perhaps u need to learn when to keep ur mouth shut at the right time, only talk when u should.
Example, a complainer who complains about her life incessantly just to get attention, u really shouldn't bother responding. She's not asking anyone to tell her what to do. So learn to keep ur half arse wisdom to yourself.
Why other people in the group seem ok with her constant bitching and moaning ? Because that's her role, the comic, entertainer, life of the party. Birds of a feather flock together. Seems the theme of this group is about negativity n enabling such behavior.
I doubt u fit in anyway.
Since she is the "leader" u should not talk bad about her behind her back to anyone in the group. That's social suicide.
U seem to be making all the wrong moves in this group. Maybe it's time for u to seek out new group n not make the same social mistakes again.
Do yourself a favor, go look for a group with similar mindset.
Note: quit with the body fats thing already, harping on the weight issue only make u look very shallow.