Hi forumers! I'm a new user but I've been browsing these forums for at least a year, and I felt that with such a great Singapore presence, my issue is best addressed here.
Anyway, here is what I'm facing right now.
I have this friend, a girl, who I've been friends with for 4 years now.
I admit that at some point, I have had strong feelings for her, but I'm pretty sure we're just friends now, good friends actually. And I like it this way.
The thing is, in the past 2 years I've known her, she's been getting a lot more attention in school than previously.
She became more girl-ly I guess, and also, sad to say, quite different.
Like, she has her skirt pretty short in school, I mean there are shorter and it's pretty common, so actually it's almost a norm. But occasionally, she wears coloured-bras to school, which attracts a lot of my classmates' attentions. I mean, I'm friends with her longer than I've been with the guys, so I don't actually partake in their conversations of like how hot they think she is. I naturally try to divert the conversation away from such topics relating to her. I mean, I feel quite offended as some of them call her a slut and all, but I don't feel that way. I personally just think perhaps she ran out of white bras to wear that day.
Just from a good guy friend's point of view, how do you all think I can help her get out of this habit of attracting 'the wrong attention'. It's been going on for about 2 years now, and I just really want to help her because I really don't want her to end up in a mess, with a boyfriend that doesn't treat her for who she really is.
Thank you!
Well, my suggestion may sound silly, but i suggest you bring your friendship with her to another level
i suppose you know what i mean, right?
Do not just worry, take actions and display it to her you really really really really really care about her
it doesn't matter if you think what you are doing is stupid because the result is you got to show you care about her and she knows about it
Confront her.
Tell her that you think that she dress like a cheap prostitute
Tell her that your classmates think that her yellow bra is lusty
Tell her that her skirts are getting shorter
Tell her her legs are sexy and its long up to her nec
Tell her how much you want stare at her breast every day
Tell her you can't take it anymore
Tell her your saliva is dripping wet
Tell her you want to use your index finger
Bring your index finger and put it into your mouth with your tongue flashing out
Then your eyes stare at her breast
Make sure you get a boner
Make sure she sees your boner
Then grab her by her arms
Immediately your head lunch at her head
Lick her all over her face
Your lips lock against her lips
Kiss her frantically while your hands grab her arms tight
Until her skin is red all over
Bite her lips
Then move to her neck
And bite her neck
Scream" I love you" "I love you"
Hug her tight
Make sure your boner can feel her skirt
Originally posted by Mr Milo:
Well, my suggestion may sound silly, but i suggest you bring your friendship with her to another level
i suppose you know what i mean, right?
Do not just worry, take actions and display it to her you really really really really really care about her
it doesn't matter if you think what you are doing is stupid because the result is you got to show you care about her and she knows about it
Yeah I understand what you mean.
The problem she likes my friend, I mean I'm totally all right with this.
So your suggestion may be a bit out of the way.
But I think I know where to go from here I guess.
Just keep doing what I'm doing right now until we reach a point whereby I can actually tell her. I have to just try not to jump right in too quickly. Thank you! I'll follow up if there are any twists though. :D
@speakoutfor and @CapaCity
Yeah that wasn't particularly helpful... That's basically what almost every other guy in my class is going on about -.-
Coloured bras? Ran out of white? I think you have a misconception of how she feeling right now....
I assume she's turning nubile and want to know how much she is desirable to those around her. You included TS.
So take this chance to compliment or criticise and accept her explanations to attain a quasi fashion advisor status. So brush up your own fashion sense instead of complaining about unwanted attention when what she wants (non admittedly) is that attention.
Listen boy, you have a great deal of concern and care towards this girl friend of yours. It might not surprise me if you actually have developed feelings for her. I know you say that you are comfortable being her close friend, but I see a different picture here. Anyway, that's a different story altogether. If you want her to not be so conspicuous,you just need to talk to her. It think it will be awkward for you. She might start to have the impression that you actually fancy her. Perhaps your friend is just starting to realise people are noticing her and doesn't mind feeding off the compliments from others. I have a feeling you just might be slightly jealous of others trying to take notice of her. You might be a good bf to her you know because of your protective nature.
Originally posted by WhiteHot:Hi forumers! I'm a new user but I've been browsing these forums for at least a year, and I felt that with such a great Singapore presence, my issue is best addressed here.
Anyway, here is what I'm facing right now.
I have this friend, a girl, who I've been friends with for 4 years now.
I admit that at some point, I have had strong feelings for her, but I'm pretty sure we're just friends now, good friends actually. And I like it this way.
The thing is, in the past 2 years I've known her, she's been getting a lot more attention in school than previously.
She became more girl-ly I guess, and also, sad to say, quite different.
Like, she has her skirt pretty short in school, I mean there are shorter and it's pretty common, so actually it's almost a norm. But occasionally, she wears coloured-bras to school, which attracts a lot of my classmates' attentions. I mean, I'm friends with her longer than I've been with the guys, so I don't actually partake in their conversations of like how hot they think she is. I naturally try to divert the conversation away from such topics relating to her. I mean, I feel quite offended as some of them call her a slut and all, but I don't feel that way. I personally just think perhaps she ran out of white bras to wear that day.
Just from a good guy friend's point of view, how do you all think I can help her get out of this habit of attracting 'the wrong attention'. It's been going on for about 2 years now, and I just really want to help her because I really don't want her to end up in a mess, with a boyfriend that doesn't treat her for who she really is.
Thank you!
Feelings towards her aside..
Your friend may be going through some changes/stress back home.
Perhaps her parents are going through some marital/financial problems, hence are neglecting her back home.
Typically, parents will be very watchful of their teenagers especially during their rebellious years.
Inappropriate dressing is a sign that her parents are neglecting her and she is free to do as she will ...
Right now, she is desiring of attention, if she is unable to get positive attention by being the good girl, she will generate/accept negative attention being a bad girl.
As a friend, you can help with positive influence. Instead of reprimanding her (which will make her feel all the more unwanted and uncared for).
I think it's ok to let her know that some people are labeling her a slut, and see how she react to this kind of negative reputation.
Originally posted by WhiteHot:@speakoutfor and @CapaCity
Yeah that wasn't particularly helpful... That's basically what almost every other guy in my class is going on about -.-
SOunds like you have a thing for her. I am just trying to help you to cultivate your feelings for her.
@Aneslayer
I understand what you're trying to say, but because it's not a very common thing in school, so it's quite... shocking I guess. But yeah I understand thank you.
@ISTARI
Haha I understand, but I'm really not ready for a relationship. That's what some of my friends say too, the protective part and all. Well I guess I have to say that too, but maybe jealous is not the right word but yeah, just concerned for her. But I must approach the situation nonetheless. Thank you!
@jojobeach
Never really thought about that.. Maybe I should look into that too I guess. Haha I never meant that I was reprimanding her, just advising her and stuff. Thank you!
@speakoutfor
All right, thanks anyway!
Originally posted by WhiteHot:Yeah I understand what you mean.
The problem she likes my friend, I mean I'm totally all right with this.
So your suggestion may be a bit out of the way.
But I think I know where to go from here I guess.
Just keep doing what I'm doing right now until we reach a point whereby I can actually tell her. I have to just try not to jump right in too quickly. Thank you! I'll follow up if there are any twists though. :D
Hey, you cannot wait to actually tell her. It....you got to let her know and feel your concern for her
If you wait, the end result is she might think you are not concerned about her
Seems like you are a honest guy, eh?