perhaps they don't wish to bother or burden that particular someone so that's why they rather chose to keep it to themselves lor..
For me, its because no point tell others my problems.
You will never understand what im going through until you been through it yourself.
Because, as people we all have our insecurities and doubts, to tell a close friend would involve the chance that it will inevitably be brought up again in conversation, topped with the fact that someone that matters to you could possibly see it as a weakness, and/or a negative reflection on you as a person. When it's a stranger, it couldn't matter less what they think of you. And depending on their reaction, you have the option to become close, or run like crazy, and never talk to them again. But I've done both with my sad stories about my past, too. And if you've got a story, you should share it as part of who you are.
Listen? any use? can u solve?
90% of man problems is $$$, 90% of woman problems is man
You don't understand.
That maybe the problem.
Echoing the above responses, I would also like to add that while others may know what that person has gone through, they would never know what that person have felt. And they, who didn't experience those things first-handed, tend to simplify the problem and just shake it off as the person feeling 'emo'. This aggravates the feeling of <no one (bothers to) understands me>, leading to a further draw-back syndrome.
To TS response, expressing sadness/sympathy isn't what they want. From my experience, they just want someone to listen to them and give them a hug. Hugs are infectious.
If you feel that you can't get through their tough exterior, it is because they have suffered a great deal and have locked themselves up. Time and sincerity will shake the spirit.
To leave off,
Love can move snow-covered mountains, exposing the bright and beautiful sun to the shining valley below, warming a once cold, heartland
:)
those that tok lots of rot to othes are only not facing it .
i know i have a problem - i face it and solve it.
when i tell others my problem - is usually to borrow money
For people who is very close, like wifey, can still talk about sensitive problems.
Beyond that, no point. Like what Sky_Blue says, others tend to simplify the problem without understanding the issues related to it.
As an example, I cannot get a job (because of a host of reasons, FT, Cheaper alternatives, old age, etc.). But people will just simplify it and says "don't be so picky, lower your expectations". But does it work that way in real life. Only when the other party experiences it himself/herself, then only the full impact of the situation can be understood.
But my wifey will understand me.
After living for more than half a century in this world, I realised only one person will stick by you and give you sound advice, at least to the best of your knowledge, and help you solve your problems.
YOURSELF.
We can only talk about problems, when it is not our problem.
Or when it is thrown onto the table for discussion.
At least stupid and hurting remarks do not hurt you.
TS,you not a concerned aunty, but a kpo aunty.
Originally posted by aunty joanne:Can someone enlighten me? I dont understand why some people always keep their sorrows and problems in their hearts and never want to speak up…... even to their spouse, family members, close relatives, or good friends. I know telling others your problems may not help you solve it, but at lease there are someone close will willing to standby with you. You are not alone to face it…..It is because of ‘face’ or pride???
I know a person who used to complain his problems out. Then his girlfriend tell him to shut up because she can't stand his complaining. To her, she regard it as a sign of his inability to take lead and she began to insult him and say he is useless, gutless, etc. So he shut up.
Then later on, she ask him why he never tell her his problems and never trust her with sharing the burden of his problems.
In two words, he told me "vomit blood".
aunty kpo - pls don;t stand and fart from the mouth in the middle of the road. becasue i like to band into them and let them know i own the road when you kaypo in the middle of where you shouldn't
Originally posted by aunty joanne:Can someone enlighten me? I dont understand why some people always keep their sorrows and problems in their hearts and never want to speak up…... even to their spouse, family members, close relatives, or good friends. I know telling others your problems may not help you solve it, but at lease there are someone close will willing to standby with you. You are not alone to face it…..It is because of ‘face’ or pride???
Aiya Aunty, why so busybody, cannot understand, then sit down lor. You care people so much for what, times up, if like, gives some token for funneral, if not, just let it pass lor.
next tim you also becum like anuty kpoh
Next time, next time then say lah, dunno if can pass today or not, talk so much for what!!
at least i don;t bottle up my thoughts - and i say it out loud to you i luv u like that right>?
Aunty Joanne comes to the wrong forum. You can try Singapore Brides forum where there are myriads of people suffering from relationship problems.
People in this forum are usually in good mood especially when there are religion threads where people can seek refuge to and good music recommendation to listen to.
Because you don't know who you are talking to. Is this person - whom you plan to confide in - going to hear and/ guide you? Is he or her a trustworthy person? And is it done in a timely fashion where he or she is ready to listen?
Secondly, the stigma. Nowadays, you are automatically considered "a problem" if you voice out what's been keeping you down. I understand that most people are living life on a hectic pace and the last thing they want is to be bogged down by someone who, inadvertently transfers his worries onto you. It's tiring, it can be off-putting at certain points to hear someone out when you yourself are preoccupied with your own things and/ don't have a marathon-of-an-energy and patience to deal with such complex issues that involve emotions.
I personally let it "slide" when I don't want to confide my personal thoughts with anyone (when the time isn't ripe).
Originally posted by BabylonPunkette:Because you don't know who you are talking to. Is this person - whom you plan to confide in - going to hear and/ guide you? Is he or her a trustworthy person? And is it done in a timely fashion where he or she is ready to listen?
Secondly, the stigma. Nowadays, you are automatically considered "a problem" if you voice out what's been keeping you down. I understand that most people are living life on a hectic pace and the last thing they want is to be bogged down by someone who, inadvertently transfers his worries onto you. It's tiring, it can be off-putting at certain points to hear someone out when you yourself are preoccupied with your own things and/ don't have a marathon-of-an-energy and patience to deal with such complex issues that involve emotions.
I personally let it "slide" when I don't want to confide my personal thoughts with anyone (when the time isn't ripe).
This is why some men visit the red light districts.
Even if their problem can't be solve at least can be happy after that :)
Lets yum seng for the unspoken heroines of our front line!!!!!!!!!!!!
aiyah gian chicks say lah what kudos and cheers to prostitutes