A v.gd friend held back by her persistent ex-bf
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I'm for fair treatment for anyone. Both ladies and guys. What say you?Originally posted by jojobeach:No lah, where got enough time for all the guys in the world ?? I wish !! hhehehe..
Buuut, if the guys willingly come and be my slaves.....I won't be so heartless as to reject them lah....
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Fair treatment? Yes, ONLY for those DESERVING to be treated fairly.Originally posted by SumOne:I'm for fair treatment for anyone. Both ladies and guys. What say you?
Fair enough ?? -
That is, if you say NO in their face. That is rejection. I am fine with that.Originally posted by jojobeach:Not that I don't like all guys.
It's those overly persistent guys I dislike.
It's like you have to throw poop in their face to get them to back off.
Some try so hard to try to impress you, it's nauseating.
Like, what's wrong with you? Can't take NO for answer ???
I appreciate guys who knows when to stop, when I politely reject them.
Feminist ? Sure I am, I'm a female.. hellloooooo.. if I don't fight for female rights, who's gonna do it ?? the MALES ????
The most dis-likable thing, about the gals I have liked before, is that they go, "I like you too, however, I think you have to finishyour studies first. Get your career going, then maybe that time, things may work out"
I appreciate a direct rejection. What I do not like is, an answer that is not yes not no, gives the impression that the gal is reserving the guy, so that she can look for better ones.
Anyway, note that you don't have to be male or female to support each gender. So long as that party is correct, I will support, no matter its male or female. Why the distinction? And I have long advocated my theory, that ladies are actually more capable than men. -
Unfortunately, girls don't speak the same language as guys.Originally posted by soul_rage:That is, if you say NO in their face. That is rejection. I am fine with that.
The most dis-likable thing, about the gals I have liked before, is that they go, "I like you too, however, I think you have to finishyour studies first. Get your career going, then maybe that time, things may work out"
I appreciate a direct rejection. What I do not like is, an answer that is not yes not no, gives the impression that the gal is reserving the guy, so that she can look for better ones.
Anyway, note that you don't have to be male or female to support each gender. So long as that party is correct, I will support, no matter its male or female. Why the distinction? And I have long advocated my theory, that ladies are actually more capable than men.
When girls say this kind of thing to you it means she is NOT interested in you:-
1. You are too good for me.
2. Let's just be friends.
3. You must think of your studies/career first.
4. I am not ready for a relationship.
5. I need more time.
6. My parents wants me to finish my studies first.
etc etc etc... Girls don't do direct rejections because we know it is NOT nice.
And no, we do not like direct confrontation either.
So you see, if you are looking for a direct answer, you might as well go date one same gender as you.
Girls who knows they are attractives DO have a "waiting list".
If you are lucky, you are at the top of the list.
But if you decide to drop out of the list yourself by not being "available" when she is ready, that's your lugi.
Because they typically don't have a shortage of suitors for her to pick from.
So you see, it's all fair in the game of love.
Ok I agree, it's your prerogative who you want to support. To each their own. Peace ?? -
i agree wif u. sometime it is necessary to give buffer to spare the thoughts of others.Originally posted by jojobeach:Unfortunately, girls don't speak the same language as guys.
When girls say this kind of thing to you it means she is NOT interested in you:-
1. You are too good for me.
2. Let's just be friends.
3. You must think of your studies/career first.
4. I am not ready for a relationship.
5. I need more time.
6. My parents wants me to finish my studies first.
etc etc etc... Girls don't do direct rejections because we know it is NOT nice.
And no, we do not like direct confrontation either.
So you see, if you are looking for a direct answer, you might as well go date one same gender as you.
Girls who knows they are attractives DO have a "waiting list".
If you are lucky, you are at the top of the list.
But if you decide to drop out of the list yourself by not being "available" when she is ready, that's your lugi.
Because they typically don't have a shortage of suitors for her to pick from.
So you see, it's all fair in the game of love.
Ok I agree, it's your prerogative who you want to support. To each their own. Peace ??
by rejecting unnecessary will make the scene ugly n who know wat the person might do? -
She's right. As harsh as what she says might sound, she's right.Originally posted by jojobeach:Unfortunately, girls don't speak the same language as guys.
When girls say this kind of thing to you it means she is NOT interested in you:-
1. You are too good for me.
2. Let's just be friends.
3. You must think of your studies/career first.
4. I am not ready for a relationship.
5. I need more time.
6. My parents wants me to finish my studies first.
etc etc etc... Girls don't do direct rejections because we know it is NOT nice.
And no, we do not like direct confrontation either.
So you see, if you are looking for a direct answer, you might as well go date one same gender as you.
Girls who knows they are attractives DO have a "waiting list".
If you are lucky, you are at the top of the list.
But if you decide to drop out of the list yourself by not being "available" when she is ready, that's your lugi.
Because they typically don't have a shortage of suitors for her to pick from.
So you see, it's all fair in the game of love.
Ok I agree, it's your prerogative who you want to support. To each their own. Peace ??
But I would just like to add that sometimes I feel the only thing a beautiful girl has to offer is only her physical beauty. Guys who date beautiful girls a lot will want quality substance inside as well.
If all a girl can only offer is only her outer beauty as a power over the men who chase her, you will come to realise that the beauty is actually very empty, apart from the sex you are longing for from her, unless she appears to have substance inside her. I won't be talking to a vase and get sianz..yawns.
Anyway, my point is beauty with substance is harder to find than just beauty alone.
doko -
hey doko, welcome back! :-3Originally posted by dokono:She's right. As harsh as what she says might sound, she's right.
But I would just like to add that sometimes I feel the only thing a beautiful girl has to offer is only her physical beauty. Guys who date beautiful girls a lot will want quality substance inside as well.
If all a girl can only offer is only her outer beauty as a power over the men who chase her, you will come to realise that the beauty is actually very empty, apart from the sex you are longing for from her, unless she appears to have substance inside her. I won't be talking to a vase and get sianz..yawns.
Anyway, my point is beauty with substance is harder to find than just beauty alone.
doko -
heyOriginally posted by 798:hey doko, welcome back! :-3
Nice to see you. =)
doko -
*shrugs* I am a guy who is charming as well, and have my own possibilities at that time as well. Don't need to queue up for those gals who THINK they are attractive. There are quite a few that till now are single, coz they played the waiting list game, and by the time they turned ard and decide the best one for her, that one is already gone. Not to mention the 2nd best, 3rd best, all gone.Originally posted by jojobeach:Unfortunately, girls don't speak the same language as guys.
When girls say this kind of thing to you it means she is NOT interested in you:-
1. You are too good for me.
2. Let's just be friends.
3. You must think of your studies/career first.
4. I am not ready for a relationship.
5. I need more time.
6. My parents wants me to finish my studies first.
etc etc etc... Girls don't do direct rejections because we know it is NOT nice.
And no, we do not like direct confrontation either.
So you see, if you are looking for a direct answer, you might as well go date one same gender as you.
Girls who knows they are attractives DO have a "waiting list".
If you are lucky, you are at the top of the list.
But if you decide to drop out of the list yourself by not being "available" when she is ready, that's your lugi.
Because they typically don't have a shortage of suitors for her to pick from.
So you see, it's all fair in the game of love.
Ok I agree, it's your prerogative who you want to support. To each their own. Peace ??
And then, I start hearing them lamenting 'All the good guys are married'.
Look, if you like to play this sort of thing (to me, its a selfish game), then go ahead. But don't behave as if gals own the world.
But let's not hijack this thread for our own arguments. I think we don't see eye to eye, and let's stop at that. -
It's their choice for dreaming to get the ultimate guy. Well, it's their choice anyway. They know it themselves. They choose to live their lives this way.Originally posted by soul_rage:*shrugs* I am a guy who is charming as well, and have my own possibilities at that time as well. Don't need to queue up for those gals who THINK they are attractive. There are quite a few that till now are single, coz they played the waiting list game, and by the time they turned ard and decide the best one for her, that one is already gone. Not to mention the 2nd best, 3rd best, all gone.
And then, I start hearing them lamenting 'All the good guys are married'.
Look, if you like to play this sort of thing (to me, its a selfish game), then go ahead. But don't behave as if gals own the world.
But let's not hijack this thread for our own arguments. I think we don't see eye to eye, and let's stop at that.
For us guys, we just move on as this is just a waste of time playing their game. There are many things to do in life and this area (dating) is just a part of it.
doko -
This is limit in love too, there r pretty gal still single cos of their charater, it may not be substance but bad temper, mood swing and unreasonable. To last long, she need to have good EQ too.
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That can lead to another question, so who do you think is deserving or rather undeserving. Do you think all guys or even just most guys are undeserving? That all guys should just be treated badly because they are guys?Originally posted by jojobeach:Fair treatment? Yes, ONLY for those DESERVING to be treated fairly.
Fair enough ??
Another point to add is the intepretation of fair treatment. To me, getting punished for a crime is fair treatment. If you're in the wrong or do something bad you get a certain treatment, but to overdo it and be overly harsh to somebody is something else. For eg, public execution for a shoplifter.
To paraphrase, there is such thing as overdoing it when giving the harsh treatment to someone, be it guy or girl. -
let me ask, does a gal think she is attractive just coz she is pretty?Originally posted by T.Ryousuke:This is limit in love too, there r pretty gal still single cos of their charater, it may not be substance but bad temper, mood swing and unreasonable. To last long, she need to have good EQ too.
If that's so, that's really shallow, coz end of the day, beauty is but a passing cloud. When we reach 60, 70 years old, all of us are the same withered wrinkled humans. -
Actually, there also guys who adopt the indirect approach so I won't say it's the sole language of girls. But I won't say all guys do that because it may just be that most of the guys around me do try to be subtle or at least adopt some tact. To add, there are girls into direct approach as well, in fact, often they use the indirect approach is because it's someone they consider a friend and they don't want to risk totally falling out with the guy.Originally posted by jojobeach:Unfortunately, girls don't speak the same language as guys.
When girls say this kind of thing to you it means she is NOT interested in you:-
1. You are too good for me.
2. Let's just be friends.
3. You must think of your studies/career first.
4. I am not ready for a relationship.
5. I need more time.
6. My parents wants me to finish my studies first.
etc etc etc... Girls don't do direct rejections because we know it is NOT nice.
And no, we do not like direct confrontation either.
So you see, if you are looking for a direct answer, you might as well go date one same gender as you.
Girls who knows they are attractives DO have a "waiting list".
If you are lucky, you are at the top of the list.
But if you decide to drop out of the list yourself by not being "available" when she is ready, that's your lugi.
Because they typically don't have a shortage of suitors for her to pick from.
So you see, it's all fair in the game of love.
Ok I agree, it's your prerogative who you want to support. To each their own. Peace ??
It's never easy to reject anyone, guy or girl. There's always the worry of hurting the other person's feeling. We all try to do it in the best way possible. -
guess that applies to both guys and girls....Originally posted by 798:i agree wif u. sometime it is necessary to give buffer to spare the thoughts of others.
by rejecting unnecessary will make the scene ugly n who know wat the person might do?
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I do agree, I think mature guys will look for inner beauty more.Originally posted by soul_rage:let me ask, does a gal think she is attractive just coz she is pretty?
If that's so, that's really shallow, coz end of the day, beauty is but a passing cloud. When we reach 60, 70 years old, all of us are the same withered wrinkled humans. -
Who is more deserving is based on common sense.Originally posted by SumOne:That can lead to another question, so who do you think is deserving or rather undeserving. Do you think all guys or even just most guys are undeserving? That all guys should just be treated badly because they are guys?
Another point to add is the intepretation of fair treatment. To me, getting punished for a crime is fair treatment. If you're in the wrong or do something bad you get a certain treatment, but to overdo it and be overly harsh to somebody is something else. For eg, public execution for a shoplifter.
To paraphrase, there is such thing as overdoing it when giving the harsh treatment to someone, be it guy or girl.
Come on, we don't treat everyone we know "fairly".
Do you treat ALL your friends and family fairly ?
There will always be some you prefer to hang around with more. Why ?
Because they are more fun ? They are more interesting ? Is that fair to your other friends and relatives ??
Crime punishable also cannot be fair. Common sense what.
A crime is a crime and should be punished. But to what extend the punishments ?
A drug trafficker , death.
A murderer, death.
To be fair , a shoplifter also death meh ???? Silly right ???
There are a few crimes that needs to be highlighted to the public to create awareness. You know what I mean.
The pain of the punishment must always exceed the gain from a crime.
Why shouldn't anyone be harsh to a person whom has commited crime ?
A criminal deserves respect ???? What a joke.
When a criminal decides to commit crime, he/she has essentially tell the whole world to fark off. Does this person derserve to be treated less harshly ???? -
In my social circle, there are many single, attractive girls who chose to remain single.Originally posted by T.Ryousuke:This is limit in love too, there r pretty gal still single cos of their charater, it may not be substance but bad temper, mood swing and unreasonable. To last long, she need to have good EQ too.
They have several failed relationship, invested time, effort, money, emotions but never worked out.
They eventually found out that happiness does not depend on who you end up with. Happiness can be achieved even when you are single.
Infact, some of them do admit that they are happier without a partner to bind them down.
They have less emotional/physical commitments. And this makes their life carefree....
They travel the world, experience more of life, do more daring stuff.
Not all girls who remain single are damaged goods. Because not all people are destined to be married. -
Person A could kill Person B coz Person B wanted to kill a person that Person A loves and cares very much.Originally posted by jojobeach:Who is more deserving is based on common sense.
Come on, we don't treat everyone we know "fairly".
Do you treat ALL your friends and family fairly ?
There will always be some you prefer to hang around with more. Why ?
Because they are more fun ? They are more interesting ? Is that fair to your other friends and relatives ??
Crime punishable also cannot be fair. Common sense what.
A crime is a crime and should be punished. But to what extend the punishments ?
A drug trafficker , death.
A murderer, death.
To be fair , a shoplifter also death meh ???? Silly right ???
There are a few crimes that needs to be highlighted to the public to create awareness. You know what I mean.
The pain of the punishment must always exceed the gain from a crime.
Why shouldn't anyone be harsh to a person whom has commited crime ?
A criminal deserves respect ???? What a joke.
When a criminal decides to commit crime, he/she has essentially tell the whole world to fark off. Does this person derserve to be treated less harshly ????
A shoplifter could be stealing food or basic necessities coz the govt isn't taking care of the needy, and he could not live on the miserly $230 that they provide, that he decided to steal
I am not saying their crimes are totally forgivable, but I just think you are too extreme, and seems to think the worst of everyone.
Life is only as pessimistic or as negative as you want it to be. Just as I always tell my disciples, life is only as complex as you want to make it out to be.
Of coz you can tell me to f**k off, that its your life. Then its fine, I won't be offended -
Why does a property fetch a higher price than other property ?Originally posted by soul_rage:let me ask, does a gal think she is attractive just coz she is pretty?
If that's so, that's really shallow, coz end of the day, beauty is but a passing cloud. When we reach 60, 70 years old, all of us are the same withered wrinkled humans.
There are attributes that the owner knows is more desirable to the public. That's why it commands a higher price.
If this society we live in is not as shallow as you want to believe, looks and outer beauty will NOT have become one of the factor in partner selection.
HOwever, this is not so.
We live in a world where looks matters. We are attracted to good looking things.
That is a fact we cannot ignore.
When you go and see a property, you look at the external factor.
Does it suit your taste ? Is the surrounding nice ? Is the area too noisy ?
Then you walk into the house and decide if the layout is what you need.
However, true, looks can be achieve with cosmetics.
Would you invest your whole life savings in a property that looks like a poop shed ? Perhaps you will, if you can see the potential in developing the ugly shed into a world class resort. -
So if A kills person B, don't you think A is also commiting a crime ?Originally posted by soul_rage:Person A could kill Person B coz Person B wanted to kill a person that Person A loves and cares very much.
A shoplifter could be stealing food or basic necessities coz the govt isn't taking care of the needy, and he could not live on the miserly $230 that they provide, that he decided to steal
I am not saying their crimes are totally forgivable, but I just think you are too extreme, and seems to think the worst of everyone.
Life is only as pessimistic or as negative as you want it to be. Just as I always tell my disciples, life is only as complex as you want to make it out to be.
Of coz you can tell me to f**k off, that its your life. Then its fine, I won't be offended
What makes you think person B has no one to love and cares ?
Person B also may has a family who loves him. He may also be a father or a husband to someone else.
Two wrongs does not make one right.
So you are saying that Just because one is a needy , means he/she has the right to commit crime ???
If a person is sex addict and cannot help himself because he is mentally ill, does it make it forgivable to rape your daughter ???
Life is complex if there is not a clear line between black or white, right or wrong. Life is complex when there exists too many grey areas.
So no, contrary to what you think of me. I make my life simple by trying my best to be clear cut about my opinions.
And no, I think of my glass as half full. -
I kind of get the feeling you missed my point or you may have avoided it.Originally posted by jojobeach:Who is more deserving is based on common sense.
Come on, we don't treat everyone we know "fairly".
Do you treat ALL your friends and family fairly ?
There will always be some you prefer to hang around with more. Why ?
Because they are more fun ? They are more interesting ? Is that fair to your other friends and relatives ??
Crime punishable also cannot be fair. Common sense what.
A crime is a crime and should be punished. But to what extend the punishments ?
A drug trafficker , death.
A murderer, death.
To be fair , a shoplifter also death meh ???? Silly right ???
There are a few crimes that needs to be highlighted to the public to create awareness. You know what I mean.
The pain of the punishment must always exceed the gain from a crime.
I did not say anything like that, I hope you're not putting words into people's mouth's again.Why shouldn't anyone be harsh to a person whom has commited crime ?[/quote]
I believe if I changed the issue from fair treatment to deserving treatment, the response might be different. Still, my point is missed or overlooked.A criminal deserves respect ???? What a joke.
[quote]When a criminal decides to commit crime, he/she has essentially tell the whole world to fark off. Does this person derserve to be treated less harshly ????Like I said, you don't seem to be getting the point. I think it's enough with the analogies since it's digressing even more and more.
To summarise, I started off saying that there was no need for you to use such mean words with TS and so harsh with him. You would still have been able to get your advice and point to him without the usage of certain words. Not forgetting your sweeping statement about guys was totally uncalled for and unjustified.
My other point was how the way you treat guys tends to be very different from how you treat girls. I merely made a statement that guys and girls should be treated fairly, on virtue of their actions and not straight off on whether they are guys or girls. You kind of side-stepped that with your reply although maybe not intentionally.
So I don't think I'll be giving you anymore questions lest you put your own meaning in it or have it different from what I intended. Besides, I think I've said enough to put my point across.
But in any case, enough with the sweeping statements and generilisations. Don't be so quick to condemn people just because they are guys. There is such thing as being overly femnist, which is as wrong as being an MCP. -
I pretty much agree with you. What you say kind of sums it up in a way.Originally posted by soul_rage:Person A could kill Person B coz Person B wanted to kill a person that Person A loves and cares very much.
A shoplifter could be stealing food or basic necessities coz the govt isn't taking care of the needy, and he could not live on the miserly $230 that they provide, that he decided to steal
I am not saying their crimes are totally forgivable, but I just think you are too extreme, and seems to think the worst of everyone.
Life is only as pessimistic or as negative as you want it to be. Just as I always tell my disciples, life is only as complex as you want to make it out to be.
Of coz you can tell me to f**k off, that its your life. Then its fine, I won't be offended -
I'm not saying what you say doesn't make sense, but your post brings it in an extremely different direction and meaning from what Ryosuke was saying it. It's like, he is saying this but you want to totally bring the conversation a different way to make a different point.Originally posted by jojobeach:In my social circle, there are many single, attractive girls who chose to remain single.
They have several failed relationship, invested time, effort, money, emotions but never worked out.
They eventually found out that happiness does not depend on who you end up with. Happiness can be achieved even when you are single.
Infact, some of them do admit that they are happier without a partner to bind them down.
They have less emotional/physical commitments. And this makes their life carefree....
They travel the world, experience more of life, do more daring stuff.
Not all girls who remain single are damaged goods. Because not all people are destined to be married. -
So what you want actually?