A v.gd friend held back by her persistent ex-bf
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It all started roughly 8 months ago when my then friend found out that her bf had cheated on her by going out with a girl from Thailand. She initiated the breakup and the bf confessed and thus their relationship ended.
Before that, me and her rushed down to some ulu place where the bastard is working, hoping to confront him but he was nowhere to be found. It was a heartbreaking sight to see her crying in the bus and my heart aches for her. I have always had special attention towards her despite knowing she had a BF, I kept the distance.
Months passed, we got closer together and I tried to spend as much time as possible with her, even skipping school and giving up my CCA to be with her. We eventually became very good friend and I am close to their family as well. Out of the blue, the ex BF came back and want to have a patch.
Well, she hated him and asked him to FXXX OFF but he is rather persistent. Leaving food outside her house, smsing her and want to meet her after her work or at her void deck. I was with her all along and the only correct thing I knew was for her to ignore him. He couldnt stop and it breaks my heart to see her crying again after so many months.
I met with that bastard and told him I would convince her to be just friend with him but he was still under the impression of him having a chance with her. At that point of time, the girl already knew my likings towards her.
Well, the scenario didnt get any better instead the bastard used what he is best at, emotional blackmail. He threatens to kill himself, off his phone and got me and her hurrying all over singapore to find him but at the end he would call her and say he didnt want to die or else he would not be able to see her again.
Den came the letters, reminding her of the fun times they spent together and such. And of cos, I was with her all these while when he did all these stuff.
The hatred in my friend's heart soon subsides and she begin to be less cruel towards him. I thought it was best that I no longer care and just play my part but things went underground pretty soon for them.
She accepted him as a friend but this bastard tells her he gets jealous whenever he sees me with her and my friend, not knowing how to say no would tell him that she is alone when she is with me. I was terribly upset by her lies. I was just right infront of her when she said that. I do not know why she would feel that way after the shit things he did to her. This bastard kept using things like " You never remember the things we did together.." to bait her back. Im so distressed that I have lost count of the times I cried.
Am I right to say that if she doesnt state her stand firm, that bastard would never move on and me and her would never get a chance just to even try? Fellow forumes, tell me what should I do? We are having lots of fun time together and everytime the sms tone came, I cant help but feel sour because 60% it would be the bastard smsing her. She is rather timid and we both agreed that she finds it very hard to be mean.
I asked my close friends for advice, one told me that I have to prove myself to be the better one for her. I am willing to do that, I have prepared letters, like what Noah did to Eillie in the film the notebook. I record down every single day of activities with her and plan to give it to her but her shadow of the ex mades me feel helpless.
I was thinking, since she cant say no directly to the bastard, I would contact him personally but I know I cant say "fxxx off and die".
I do not think that the bastard character would understand the meaning of loving her. I tried the approach of " If you love her, you wan her to be happy" earlier on but he doesnt seem to get it even to the extent of ME asking her to go back to him if she is happy but she doesnt want it.
I have given everything just for a hint of spark in this relationship and I know that we can make it. -
in poly? u like her jz officially date her out lo... u jz need to do ur part to let her know u better and interest... then u can make ur move...
+ if he use emo, u use wat he did to remind her wat he did... -
tt gal still got feeling for tt guys ? this part u will not have know cos u r not her , let her choose herself but in the meantime prove her u can give her happiness if she with u and will not let her down . action means more den words . the best way to get tt guy away is to let her tell him himself , and even he try to commit sucide jus tell her to ignore cos that usually wun happen , jus some 3sec thinking . Tell her u will not wan to see her unhappiness moment again and promise her she will be happy with u
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TS,
In this case, you need to use the fishing method.
Let her go.
Then pull her back when she is ready.
If she comes back to you, she is yours to keep.
If she runs off with that ex-bf, she is never yours to begin with.
Right now, don't be the rock between the two.
Don't let your jealousy blind your sight.
Be brave, be strong, be gracious . Women appreciate this kind of man. -
Well, the scenario didnt get any better instead the bastard used what he is best at, emotional blackmail. He threatens to kill himself, off his phone and got me and her hurrying all over singapore to find him but at the end he would call her and say he didnt want to die or else he would not be able to see her again.
Oh...what a loser.
I hate these kinda guys.
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careful..alot of trans from thai
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ur emo
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You should fight for her. Then you have no regrets if it dosent work out.
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tell her how u really feel about her
ask her for a chance
if she don't make a choice now, she may go back to her ex
that guy sure know how to manipulate woman, haiz
those who call someone saying that he or she is committing suicide, don't even have the intention in the first place, they just want the attention or to make that person feel guilty, if they want to die, let them kill themselves
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u gotta love this. best advice.Originally posted by jojobeach:TS,
In this case, you need to use the fishing method.
Let her go.
Then pull her back when she is ready.
If she comes back to you, she is yours to keep.
If she runs off with that ex-bf, she is never yours to begin with.
Right now, don't be the rock between the two.
Don't let your jealousy blind your sight.
Be brave, be strong, be gracious . Women appreciate this kind of man.
-
My opinion = you're just a substitute.Originally posted by DaExodus:It all started roughly 8 months ago when my then friend found out that her bf had cheated on her by going out with a girl from Thailand. She initiated the breakup and the bf confessed and thus their relationship ended.
Before that, me and her rushed down to some ulu place where the bastard is working, hoping to confront him but he was nowhere to be found. It was a heartbreaking sight to see her crying in the bus and my heart aches for her. I have always had special attention towards her despite knowing she had a BF, I kept the distance.
Months passed, we got closer together and I tried to spend as much time as possible with her, even skipping school and giving up my CCA to be with her. We eventually became very good friend and I am close to their family as well. Out of the blue, the ex BF came back and want to have a patch.
Well, she hated him and asked him to FXXX OFF but he is rather persistent. Leaving food outside her house, smsing her and want to meet her after her work or at her void deck. I was with her all along and the only correct thing I knew was for her to ignore him. He couldnt stop and it breaks my heart to see her crying again after so many months.
I met with that bastard and told him I would convince her to be just friend with him but he was still under the impression of him having a chance with her. At that point of time, the girl already knew my likings towards her.
Well, the scenario didnt get any better instead the bastard used what he is best at, emotional blackmail. He threatens to kill himself, off his phone and got me and her hurrying all over singapore to find him but at the end he would call her and say he didnt want to die or else he would not be able to see her again.
Den came the letters, reminding her of the fun times they spent together and such. And of cos, I was with her all these while when he did all these stuff.
The hatred in my friend's heart soon subsides and she begin to be less cruel towards him. I thought it was best that I no longer care and just play my part but things went underground pretty soon for them.
She accepted him as a friend but this bastard tells her he gets jealous whenever he sees me with her and my friend, not knowing how to say no would tell him that she is alone when she is with me. I was terribly upset by her lies. I was just right infront of her when she said that. I do not know why she would feel that way after the shit things he did to her. This bastard kept using things like " You never remember the things we did together.." to bait her back. Im so distressed that I have lost count of the times I cried.
Am I right to say that if she doesnt state her stand firm, that bastard would never move on and me and her would never get a chance just to even try? Fellow forumes, tell me what should I do? We are having lots of fun time together and everytime the sms tone came, I cant help but feel sour because 60% it would be the bastard smsing her. She is rather timid and we both agreed that she finds it very hard to be mean.
I asked my close friends for advice, one told me that I have to prove myself to be the better one for her. I am willing to do that, I have prepared letters, like what Noah did to Eillie in the film the notebook. I record down every single day of activities with her and plan to give it to her but her shadow of the ex mades me feel helpless.
I was thinking, since she cant say no directly to the bastard, I would contact him personally but I know I cant say "fxxx off and die".
I do not think that the bastard character would understand the meaning of loving her. I tried the approach of " If you love her, you wan her to be happy" earlier on but he doesnt seem to get it even to the extent of ME asking her to go back to him if she is happy but she doesnt want it.
I have given everything just for a hint of spark in this relationship and I know that we can make it.
Keep at it, let her decide, but keep your options open to other girls..
What's not yours.. is hard to keep. -
This is the kind of guy somehow gal fall for and end of the day when they r awake they come here and complaint. TS, u should tell the girl not to go bk to that jerk, tell her to wake up and take a step back to see clearly wat kind of man she want. Can she see any future with him? can he take care of her for life? will he make the mistake again?- for sure will! Man is like animal, he bite the first time he will bite again.
No point telling the jerk wat to do, go tell the girl instead. -
Every jerk deserves a second chance.Originally posted by T.Ryousuke:This is the kind of guy somehow gal fall for and end of the day when they r awake they come here and complaint. TS, u should tell the girl not to go bk to that jerk, they her to wake up and take a step back to see clearly wat kind of man she want. Can she see future with him? can he take care of her for life? will he make the mistake again?- for sure will! Man is like animal, he bite the first time he will bite again.
No point telling the jerk wat to do, go tell the girl instead.
But then every good guy deserves ten time more! -
at this point in time, you are not her bf and so you have no rights...Originally posted by DaExodus:It all started roughly 8 months ago when my then friend found out that her bf had cheated on her by going out with a girl from Thailand. She initiated the breakup and the bf confessed and thus their relationship ended.
Before that, me and her rushed down to some ulu place where the bastard is working, hoping to confront him but he was nowhere to be found. It was a heartbreaking sight to see her crying in the bus and my heart aches for her. I have always had special attention towards her despite knowing she had a BF, I kept the distance.
Months passed, we got closer together and I tried to spend as much time as possible with her, even skipping school and giving up my CCA to be with her. We eventually became very good friend and I am close to their family as well. Out of the blue, the ex BF came back and want to have a patch.
Well, she hated him and asked him to FXXX OFF but he is rather persistent. Leaving food outside her house, smsing her and want to meet her after her work or at her void deck. I was with her all along and the only correct thing I knew was for her to ignore him. He couldnt stop and it breaks my heart to see her crying again after so many months.
I met with that bastard and told him I would convince her to be just friend with him but he was still under the impression of him having a chance with her. At that point of time, the girl already knew my likings towards her.
Well, the scenario didnt get any better instead the bastard used what he is best at, emotional blackmail. He threatens to kill himself, off his phone and got me and her hurrying all over singapore to find him but at the end he would call her and say he didnt want to die or else he would not be able to see her again.
Den came the letters, reminding her of the fun times they spent together and such. And of cos, I was with her all these while when he did all these stuff.
The hatred in my friend's heart soon subsides and she begin to be less cruel towards him. I thought it was best that I no longer care and just play my part but things went underground pretty soon for them.
She accepted him as a friend but this bastard tells her he gets jealous whenever he sees me with her and my friend, not knowing how to say no would tell him that she is alone when she is with me. I was terribly upset by her lies. I was just right infront of her when she said that. I do not know why she would feel that way after the shit things he did to her. This bastard kept using things like " You never remember the things we did together.." to bait her back. Im so distressed that I have lost count of the times I cried.
Am I right to say that if she doesnt state her stand firm, that bastard would never move on and me and her would never get a chance just to even try? Fellow forumes, tell me what should I do? We are having lots of fun time together and everytime the sms tone came, I cant help but feel sour because 60% it would be the bastard smsing her. She is rather timid and we both agreed that she finds it very hard to be mean.
I asked my close friends for advice, one told me that I have to prove myself to be the better one for her. I am willing to do that, I have prepared letters, like what Noah did to Eillie in the film the notebook. I record down every single day of activities with her and plan to give it to her but her shadow of the ex mades me feel helpless.
I was thinking, since she cant say no directly to the bastard, I would contact him personally but I know I cant say "fxxx off and die".
I do not think that the bastard character would understand the meaning of loving her. I tried the approach of " If you love her, you wan her to be happy" earlier on but he doesnt seem to get it even to the extent of ME asking her to go back to him if she is happy but she doesnt want it.
I have given everything just for a hint of spark in this relationship and I know that we can make it.
She continues to keep in touch with her ex because... well she is now unattached and she does not have a bf... when she has a bf, she will be too busy to make time for her ex...
so the question you should ask is, "How can I make her my gf and for her to accept me as her bf?" -
go up to him and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!!!!!" and kick him down a fwe flights of stairs.
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or...Originally posted by the.owl:go up to him and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!!!!!" and kick him down a fwe flights of stairs.
go up to him and say "THIS IS PARTA!!!!!!!!! ... you want some? ai hum or mai hum? -
So true...especially the guai guai meek kind of girls. They are suckers for sweet talk and it is easy to convince these girls that the fault lies in them when their bfs cheat or are violent. Cannot label them as 'stupid' either becos most of these girls are top students. Well...maybe they are gullible, naive and/or ignorant about the wiles of some guys.Originally posted by T.Ryousuke:This is the kind of guy somehow gal fall for and end of the day when they r awake they come here and complaint. TS, u should tell the girl not to go bk to that jerk, tell her to wake up and take a step back to see clearly wat kind of man she want. Can she see any future with him? can he take care of her for life? will he make the mistake again?- for sure will! Man is like animal, he bite the first time he will bite again.
No point telling the jerk wat to do, go tell the girl instead.
Good girls go for bad guys becos of the EXCITEMENT that is so lacking in their lives. Some girls actually believe they can change their bfs...
Hiaz....this girl probably watches a lot of Korean drama on TV.... -
like that how to punish him? must be harsh, say "you insult my queen, you threaten us with death, oh I have chosen my words carefully perhaps you should have done the same"Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:or...
go up to him and say "THIS IS PARTA!!!!!!!!! ... you want some? ai hum or mai hum?
then that guy say "siao ah?"
and you go "siao? THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!!!"
kick him down the building -
Some ppl r looking for excitment, some just need someone to love them. So Love is blind, and girls r just girls with emotional over run their mind. TS need to give the gal more love and care that she need.
Talking is sometime useless, action is more important. -
depends, at that time, when I was pursuing my wife, her ex kept pestering her and use things from soft methods to hard threats to try to get her back (eg. want to die, want to kill her then kill himself, call her a slut, call her lots of names).Originally posted by jojobeach:TS,
In this case, you need to use the fishing method.
Let her go.
Then pull her back when she is ready.
If she comes back to you, she is yours to keep.
If she runs off with that ex-bf, she is never yours to begin with.
Right now, don't be the rock between the two.
Don't let your jealousy blind your sight.
Be brave, be strong, be gracious . Women appreciate this kind of man.
In a moment of assertion, I declared my love for her, and declared all-out war with that bastard.
In the end, I defeated him thoroughly with
(1) my sincerity,
(2) my assertion that I want her to be my love forever and ever, and with the heart to prove it.
(3) my capabilities in terms of a guy with aspirations and ambitions
These days, when my wife and I talked back to that incident, she appreciated that I took a more assertive stance and told her I want her to be my love forever, coz she found it difficult to reject him, and if I had not confirmed my feelings to her and convince her that I am the guy for her, she might just go back to that insane creep (gals by nature are more soft hearted).
So really, there is no wrong or right, perhaps its good to first know what she feels, both about that joker, and of you.
The crux of the matter, I guess, is whether you have confessed your feelings to her, and whether she has feelings for you. -
You should add oil tho the buring fire so that you cab be with the girl..
Providd if you want the girl.. -
Erm... if this is the case, I think you need to keep your distance from her. To a person who never be able to make a firm stand for his or love, then it is not love.
There would be a day that you will eventually find out that you are being used as a float when she is drowning. Cos she doesn't even have the courage to face her ex to tell him that she is with you. What does this action means? You should know. -
I once had a childhood friend whom was getting married, she called me desperately and told me a guy whom liked her said he wanted to kill himself coz of her getting married, and then switched off the phone and became uncontactableOriginally posted by Kenashi:tell her how u really feel about her
ask her for a chance
if she don't make a choice now, she may go back to her ex
that guy sure know how to manipulate woman, haiz
those who call someone saying that he or she is committing suicide, don't even have the intention in the first place, they just want the attention or to make that person feel guilty, if they want to die, let them kill themselves
This joker was a good friend of my friend, whom I had not been in contact for more than a decade. In the end, I managed to locate this old friend, whom I went thru many many degrees of separation to finally locate his contact. And my childhood friend managed to reach that joker.
To me, such jokers are losers, and deserve to die actually, causing trouble to so many people. They don't deserve anything for not valuing their lives, and treasuring other people. -
You can't force love and you can't just set love in your direction.Originally posted by DaExodus:It all started roughly 8 months ago when my then friend found out that her bf had cheated on her by going out with a girl from Thailand. She initiated the breakup and the bf confessed and thus their relationship ended.
Before that, me and her rushed down to some ulu place where the bastard is working, hoping to confront him but he was nowhere to be found. It was a heartbreaking sight to see her crying in the bus and my heart aches for her. I have always had special attention towards her despite knowing she had a BF, I kept the distance.
Months passed, we got closer together and I tried to spend as much time as possible with her, even skipping school and giving up my CCA to be with her. We eventually became very good friend and I am close to their family as well. Out of the blue, the ex BF came back and want to have a patch.
Well, she hated him and asked him to FXXX OFF but he is rather persistent. Leaving food outside her house, smsing her and want to meet her after her work or at her void deck. I was with her all along and the only correct thing I knew was for her to ignore him. He couldnt stop and it breaks my heart to see her crying again after so many months.
I met with that bastard and told him I would convince her to be just friend with him but he was still under the impression of him having a chance with her. At that point of time, the girl already knew my likings towards her.
Well, the scenario didnt get any better instead the bastard used what he is best at, emotional blackmail. He threatens to kill himself, off his phone and got me and her hurrying all over singapore to find him but at the end he would call her and say he didnt want to die or else he would not be able to see her again.
Den came the letters, reminding her of the fun times they spent together and such. And of cos, I was with her all these while when he did all these stuff.
The hatred in my friend's heart soon subsides and she begin to be less cruel towards him. I thought it was best that I no longer care and just play my part but things went underground pretty soon for them.
She accepted him as a friend but this bastard tells her he gets jealous whenever he sees me with her and my friend, not knowing how to say no would tell him that she is alone when she is with me. I was terribly upset by her lies. I was just right infront of her when she said that. I do not know why she would feel that way after the shit things he did to her. This bastard kept using things like " You never remember the things we did together.." to bait her back. Im so distressed that I have lost count of the times I cried.
Am I right to say that if she doesnt state her stand firm, that bastard would never move on and me and her would never get a chance just to even try? Fellow forumes, tell me what should I do? We are having lots of fun time together and everytime the sms tone came, I cant help but feel sour because 60% it would be the bastard smsing her. She is rather timid and we both agreed that she finds it very hard to be mean.
I asked my close friends for advice, one told me that I have to prove myself to be the better one for her. I am willing to do that, I have prepared letters, like what Noah did to Eillie in the film the notebook. I record down every single day of activities with her and plan to give it to her but her shadow of the ex mades me feel helpless.
I was thinking, since she cant say no directly to the bastard, I would contact him personally but I know I cant say "fxxx off and die".
I do not think that the bastard character would understand the meaning of loving her. I tried the approach of " If you love her, you wan her to be happy" earlier on but he doesnt seem to get it even to the extent of ME asking her to go back to him if she is happy but she doesnt want it.
I have given everything just for a hint of spark in this relationship and I know that we can make it.
Only be with her out of your own willingness.. Some people say that patience would pay off... I would rather say that would only happen sometimes... -
It is lucky your wife likes you, therefore it works out.Originally posted by soul_rage:depends, at that time, when I was pursuing my wife, her ex kept pestering her and use things from soft methods to hard threats to try to get her back (eg. want to die, want to kill her then kill himself, call her a slut, call her lots of names).
In a moment of assertion, I declared my love for her, and declared all-out war with that bastard.
In the end, I defeated him thoroughly with
(1) my sincerity,
(2) my assertion that I want her to be my love forever and ever, and with the heart to prove it.
(3) my capabilities in terms of a guy with aspirations and ambitions
These days, when my wife and I talked back to that incident, she appreciated that I took a more assertive stance and told her I want her to be my love forever, coz she found it difficult to reject him, and if I had not confirmed my feelings to her and convince her that I am the guy for her, she might just go back to that insane creep (gals by nature are more soft hearted).
So really, there is no wrong or right, perhaps its good to first know what she feels, both about that joker, and of you.
The crux of the matter, I guess, is whether you have confessed your feelings to her, and whether she has feelings for you.
But consider the fact that you are taking advantage of her vulnerable situation, I don't envy you for that.
So, what happens if TS's girl is not interested in romantic relationship with TS? What if she just wants TS to be what he is now, a pillar of support ?
Will she be forced to chose between getting into a r/s with TS ? or risk losing someone who is there for her during this difficult time ??
I think it is never a good idea to go into a relationship with someone trying to bounce back from a freshly broken r/s.